Virgin who wants FWB – hi again..

I am going to be bluntly honest—this is a very bad idea!

You have no idea how much our hormones wreak havoc during and after sex. You think your crazy now, just wait until afterwards when the oxytocin, dopanine, etc. is released and you bond to him—this is very powerful stuff!

FWBs are great for guys but not so much for ladies. You really have to be a totally different mindset where you have ZERO emotional feelings whatsoever for him or you will be setting yourself for a crazy emotional roller coaster ride and/or heartbreak.

If your dead set about losing your virginity, I highly suggest you have a “pep talk” with yourself and him before you do it. Let him know its HIGHLY POSSIBLE your feelings for him will change and that he needs to be fully aware of how the hormones will affect you. I also highly suggest reading up the “bonding” that takes place with women and sex so your educated and prepared before you “jump in”.

So I’ve been in this situation and I actually did lose my virginity to a fwb (who is practically a stranger btw). I went through that oh I don’t care about relationships I’m young I just want to have fun, sex is just sex now a days why should I cherish it?

Let me tell you right now. DO NOT DO IT. I was told by all my friends, people I asked on the internet, random friends of friends, almost everyone I talk to about this, and they ALL told me not to do it. Of course I didn’t listen I was like idc that’s not me, how hard is it to keep emotions out of sex? Oh girl it is so hard.

THERE IS A REASON EVERYONE TELLS YOU TO WAIT.

When you give your virginity away like it’s nothing, your body doesn’t know that and still releases all those wonderfully evil endorphins that make you fall in love with the person you had sex with (it’s real girl it’s called oxytocin, look it up) and when that boy leaves after taking your virginity you’re going to feel so empty. I promise you.

So please, PLEASE reconsider. I know it’s a pain especially being the only friend who has their virginity still, that was why I rushed to lose mine but when you’re brain’s crazy love chemical is telling you this guy loves you and he just ups and walks away, it’s going to hurt like crazy.

Hopefully (unlike my ex fwb :/) he won’t use your feelings to his advantage and use you for sex cause he knows you’ll come back but any guys who’s down for a fwb is probably going to do that.

So I would HIGHLY recommend not doing that, it sucks, like I said there is a reason everyone tells you to wait for someone special. So please really think about what you’re doing and really weigh the pros and cons!

Hi MM,
Just tell him, You’ve changed your mind… We’re women, we can do that.
You’re 19 – you have tons of time. Enjoy being young. :)
Keep in touch & let us know how you’re doing.

I think the best way to decide this is to have a serious think about how you will feel when he comes to you and says he has met someone he wants to be with? i have been in this situation and it SUCKS!
If you really feel that it wouldnt bother you to know he is dating other girls and potentially sleeping with them then go for it! however, every girl i know (including me!) that has been in this situation has really struggled to keep her feelings in check :) plus – i hate to make it sounds boring and like a mum…. but if youre only FWB theres no guarantee hes not sleeping with others… and you dont want to make yourself vulnerable to any of the nasty stuff you can catch!? eww!
I personally would avoid it as after my FWB experience I ended up losing an awesome friend out of it and it took me nearly a year to get over it :(
Good Luck! xx