"voluptuous" – is he politely calling me fat?

Ruby-just stop.

I give up-you are not being bullied-or aT LEAST, you were not getting strong comments until you started sounding unreasonable. You said you think you look fabulous,well that’s wonderful,-great! Leave it there. Plus if you feel bullied, no one is forcing you to stay and read and post on here-you are choosing to be victimized if indeed one could call it that.

I have been bullied. No one knows what I look like, so making fat jokes is immature & ignorant. I’ve been told to get professional help. I’ve repeatedly been told about how insecure I am. This is not constructive, this is bullying. Some people have made valid points & been kind but it’s sad when some people who know I’m in a bad emotional space already only seek to make it worse. Tis the internet

What Linda said -1oo% and G you are lone person here proving Ruby’s point-be better then your comments portray. I m done commenting-I have tried to be helpful and useful and approach an answer from several angles and help Ruby to consider various points, but I am ready to bash my head into a brick wall-which may actually make me feel better than trying to help the Ruby,Sophie’s etc. of this forum world.

I was actually going to offer you a bit of advice that I thought could be useful, but I changed my mind after I read the ” Not everyone wants to be skinny bitch” comment And you say you have been a victim of bullying?

Yup!

I would like to think that most men don’t work in extremes & don’t want skinny or fat. A happy medium is nice

I’m actually surprised that her language is getting through the barriers here because if you use certain words it won’t post.

I think it’s the same person that has posted all the previous neverending threads that were fueled primarily by the nonstop arguing. To me name calling is abusive. Although I do feel that there are certain posters who are bullies, I don’t feel this woman was bullied and I feel that she’s the one being abusive to others.

Like I stated before, this poster’s threads all have the same pattern,The ordinary everyday situation, the endless arguing with anyone that tries to give her advice, the introduction of the past psychological trauma, and they all have the same defensive, almost hysterical tone like they’re a cassette tape being played at warp speed. The anxiety just comes off the page in waves. Same writing style, same technique, same voice….same poster. It is not bullying to suggest to someone they get professional help when they clearly need it.

You give someone advice, they reject and being muleheaded.
Then you start saying things that not nice, they fight back.
Then you are accusing they are troll, stirring up the problem.
Why one want so bad for her advice to be accepted?

Let them made mistake, that is human right.
Perhaps they will understand what you mean, perhaps they will experience different things.

I really love how Samira handle the horde of insults to her, she is the one who can reflect the nasty ball back gracefully.
She is young, but really adept at handling internet abuse.

I treated people the way they treated me. I wasn’t rude to everyone, just the ones that were rude to me. How ignorant is it to make fat jokes to a woman that’s had eating disorders when you don’t even know what she looks like? My appearance wasn’t the topic. This is a relationship forum, not a do you think I’m fat forum. That’s crossing a line & it makes certain people look catty, juvenile & ignorant. Why should I just blindly accept advice? It’s called having a discussion, an exchange of ideas. My inability to just agree with people must mean that I need therapy. I was seeking other opinions. I wasn’t seeking to be dictated too & insulted. I’m sorry that I have a mind of my own

Ruby, you are absolutely correct. Some of the comments that were exchanged on this thread were nasty. This is a discussion/advice relationship forum. I have come on here a few times over the last two years seeking advice. Some of these ladies give great solid advice and some can be pretty harsh or rude. I take what I feel is the good advice (even if sometimes it’s harsh) and I have ignored the people who have been rude. I don’t see the need to engage them any further. However when people start throwing insults back and forth at each other then this is no longer a discussion, it is an argument. There is a sway of getting your point across without resorting to jabs. When we start with the insults the point we are trying to make loses validity. People shut down and they stop being objective. You came on this forum asking for advice and we told you what we thought. You didn’t agree with our advice and at some point some of these ladies became frustrated. You definitely don’t have to agree and you don’t have to follow anyone’s advice if you choose not to. However the insults back and forth didn’t help anyone. You could have stopped responding like some OPs do when they don’t like the advice given. But you felt attacked and you attacked back. You did the exact same thing some of these ladies did and 111 comments later I’m pretty sure nothing was resolved. You still think voluptuous means fat and nobody will change your mind about that.

Ya know. Now we know it’s a troll. Only someone who has been here would throw out the threats if suicide etc.
This thread should have died days ago. The OP obvisouoy needs to work this out with the BF… if she is even real. Or needs psychiatric help. In which case the thread would be shut down.

We don’t deal with psychiatric issues here. It’s a dating forum. Not an eating disorder forum..

Absolutely, that is why I refrain from the name calling and insults because you are right we don’t know the struggles people deal with in their daily life. I have a teenage daughter and I would hate for her to go on to a site to vent her issues and have someone push her over the edge. I respond to the posts on here that I can relate to because of personal experience and I try to be as helpful as possible. Some people take my advice some never answer me, which is fine and some disagree with me which I totally respect. Nothing more I can do. I do it because when I came on here I was pretty devastated. I got some good advice and some people ridiculed me, and I was a bit in shock about some of things that were said but all and all most of these ladies made valid points about my situation. I try to do the same when I have the time.