Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Want to end it but have what if feeling
- This topic has 15 replies and was last updated 3 years, 6 months ago by
Erin.
-
AuthorPosts
-
Yela
Im seeing a guy who recently broke up with his girlfriend (together for 3+ years). We’ve been seeing each other for only 2 months and a bit but at the start I asked him what he wanted as I stated I wanted to date to eventually be exclusive but he said he wasn’t ready for anything serious but he still wanted to see me and I stupidly agreed:(. I enjoy spending time with him although we’ve only sen each other 4 times and most of them I’ve had to kinda initiate which is annoying. I know he liked me but certainly not enough. I want to end it but not sure how and I also have the feeling of what if he will start to like me properly later on
Zoe
You are going to waste another 3 months with him I guarantee you and more. Is this what you want?
Raven
He told you ‘he wasn’t ready for anything serious…’
What if while you’re waiting for him to like you proper, Mr. Right comes along & you miss him?
Take a big step back from Mr. Rebound, date him- if HE calls you, but don’t get attached & date other guys, too. You know he’s seeing others gals…
Sandra
Yela, you need to take a huge step back from this guy. When a guy tells you he isn’t looking for anything serious believe him. You told him what you wanted, he is not on the same page you are. He is on the rebound, the last thing he wants right now is to get tied down so soon again. He told you so. I always try to make sure I am not dating someone who just broke up with an X. I don’t want to be the rebound because I am looking for a serious commitment now.
You want to date someone who will eventually want a commitment, you are cutting chances way down by staying with him and hoping he will change his mind, and more often than not when they are ready it will be with someone new. Someone they met once they sow their wild oats. If you have seen him only four times in two months it is very possible he is dating other women so you need to go out and do the same. If you wait around for him to change his mind then you will end up with a broken heart.
Maddie
“What if” is not useful in dating. If you try to date potential instead of the person in front of you, you lead yourself on, waste your own time, and set yourself up for heartbreak. If he’s really ready later and it was a great connection, he’ll come back and let you know. But after only 4 meetings, you really don’t know each other. It’s better to believe what he says and tell him you’ve enjoyed getting to know him but you’re not looking for the same things right now. Then fully disconnect and move forward… if he comes back on his own later saying he’s looking for a relationship (and not just giving you hello breadcrumbs) then you can worry about what if.
Katie
he’s unavailable emotion man. Move on if you dont want to get heartbreak
Yela
Thank you everyone for your response. I know that I need to end things and I will do. Should I text or call? I’m definitely thinking too much into the how though🙄
Raven
You don’t need to do anything…
tammy
you said that you have had to initiate meetings with him. so stop contacting him! just delete his number from your contact list and go to all call records as well and delete the call records. if there is no number, you can’t connect. and if has started liking you, and wants to see you, he will get in touch. your single and want to meet someone nice and be in a relationship. so start meeting men who are not shut off to relationships.
Maddie
If you want to reach out, after only 4 dates and him already knowing you want more than he does, I think a text with what I said in my last response is fine. It doesn’t need to be a phone call or even a breakup after only meeting a few times, but it is nice not to ghost. It sounds like it’s more for you to have a firm ending than for him.
tammy
i dont think this is ghosting. he anyways is not initiating contacts with her which shows he cldnt care less if hes not in touch. just stop initiating contact. and in case he gets in touch, tell him since you guys want different things, its best you no loner meet. that’s all.
Yela
Thanks everyone. He does initiate text conversations and we practically speak everyday that’s why I wanted to end it properly. It’s the initiating meeting that is a problem
Raven
Ok, so put your life on hold for Mr. ‘not ready for anything serious…’
Is that what you want to hear?
tammy
i am not sure whats the hiccup then? if he initiates chatting or calls, you can simply tell him that this is not what you want. .
tammy
o another thing. its not just about him not initiating that’s the only problem. its also about him telling you right at the start that he is not looking for a relationship that’s the bigger problem. if your happy this way, then continue with him. if you want a proper relationship, then tell him you have given things a thought and your moving on since you guys want different things. dont drag something once you have made up your mind.
Erin
There are no what ifs here. You got together with someone who recently came out of a serious relationship, you’re a rebound girl it’s that simple. He also told you he’s not looking for anything serious, meaning he’s not really your man, so you don’t really owe him anything to be honest.
You don’t need to make a ceremony out of ‘breaking up’ with someone you’re not deep with, like that. You can just shoot him a text that you’re done and things won’t work out between y’all.
Or just start ignoring him altogether.
You know what’s gonna happen if you keep sticking around this dude, the minute he hears good news from his ex, he’s going to drop you so fast you won’t know what hit you. 2 months vs 3 years, you will lose, my girl.
Even if they don’t get back together, he’s not in a space to date seriously and when gets over his ex, you’re gone.
It won’t end well for you, nip it in the bud.
. -
AuthorPosts
