Home › Forums › Texting Advice › Was going good then the short text …
- This topic has 14 replies and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by
KLL.
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Deions
Ok been knowing this person for close to 20years. She has been a friend but not one to keep in contact with all the time. We always had an attracting and lightly flirted but out situations and timing were never on our side. Fast forward this year I get a text out the blue from her and the timing couldn’t be more right. We text for a good month or 2 pretty solid not all day but enough to know the interests was there. We would both iníciate .We finally go out have a great time and continues to keep texting. All of a sudden out the blue she stopped texting and if I send a text the reply is dry and quick. I’m confused because we have discussed communication a lot as I told her I will let you know how I fell and etc and what’s going on and she said she would do the same. She is very career oriented which I very much respect but I’m not sure if this is the reason for the lack of text. I don’t expect to text all day but I can feel a shift and I’m not sure if I should say something about it or let it go and give space. I’m into signs a little and we both are Aquarius so I understand on a different level and I don’t want to come off at needy. I wanted to see where things would go with her now I don’t know. Do I give her the space, do I still send a daily text? My normal self would ghost but I don’t think I should do that with her. I’ve been knowing her for so long that I felt so comfortable around her on our date . I felt like I could be me if that makes sense. I mean we have know each other for almost two decades so I felt a deeper connection. So do I text, give space or ghost?
Raven
Why didn’t you ask her for another date?
Tammy
I thnk raven has raised a valid point. Wht u guys have here is a comfortable online friendship. Why didnt u make plans to meet again aftr that last date? If you want a sift in uour 20 year long frndship perhaps u need to make more efforts and set up more meetings.
Deion
Sorry I didn’t put that in their but I’ve asked her out again she told me she had to check her schedule as we both have children from a previous and work full time jobs as well. The first time I asked her it took about 2-3 weeks to actually go out. I asked maybe a few days after if I couldhave some of her time and take her out. This was about maybe week or so ago. I asked again yesterday and she told me she was in a meeting and was going to text me back but hasn’t as of yet. I don’t want to smother or feel needy but also want to still let her know I have interest in her. So now it’s like do I just wait and see if she texts me back or do I keep iInitiating ? It’s just weird that all of a sudden the replys are cold
Deion
Also answered question in reply above…..After what happened on the first date I thought we broke our comfort zone and the ice so that why this is baffling to me or maybe I’m just overthinking it but I can sense certain shifts as gift I hate to have.. I’m not going to lie I kinda like her and do want to continue to see her and see where it would go but not sure what avenue to take without seeming needy and overbearing. I could be honest on how I felt but not sure if this is the right thing to do
Raven
Sorry @Deion, she has blown you off twice now by not getting back to you. That combined with the dry responses says it’s time for you to move on, she’s not interested.
Deion
Yea guess so I just have know her for a long time and wouldn’t expect this from her for some reason I still want to know why and how I feel about the situation because of how long we’ve know each other but that would only help me get stuff off my chest … so basically don’t text and see ??
Deion
Thanks raven .. I just don’t understand why people can’t be honest and communicate
Raven
Sure, you can text her if you want want…
Be prepared, if you text her how you feel about this situation;
– You won’t get a true answer,
– You might not get an answer at all…What exactly do you have to get off your chest?
Deion
I might not but I would hope so after knowing someone for close to 20 years I would think I at least deserve that. I’m someone who would always hold stuff in so me getting it off my chests is prolly more for me than her. Imma wait and not text for a little while and see what happens but I thought since we known each other for so long someone would have at least had the decency to be honest on intentions and not lead me on .. communication and honesty was heavily talked about and agreed upon so that’s why this in kinda confusing to me ..
Raven
Sometimes the person who isn’t receptive really doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, so they just don’t respond or engage, thinking that you’ll get the message without them actually saying no, thus saving (you) face.
I know, it’s screwey thinking…
Tammy
I agree with what raven has suggstd in her last post. She just enjoys the online occasional chat with you and rare meetings. It would be in your best interest to take the hint and not push this. This will go nowhere. So drop any ideas that you may have wrt her.. just treat her and think of her as a casual frnd.
Deion
Yea raven that is a screwy thing because I would be more hurt from someone not telling me then going about it this way. And yea Tammy that may be it but if you just wanted to hookup just say so instead of leading someone on i could have just been a friend w/benefits. Is that too hard to let someone know now of days? I think I’m just to honest
Tammy
I think your missing what we trying to say here. She likes you and is smwhat attrctd. But she doesnt see this going anywhere in terms of future and perhaps she dsnt want to spoil the frndship that u guys enjoy with casual sex. I thnk you shld simply accept that she dsnt want this and let it go without lettin any negative feelings abt her get to you.
KLL
100% what Raven said. Y’all had an online relationship, but the chemistry wasn’t there in person for her. Definitely time to move on.
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