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Michelle.
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Michelle
I was having a great texting exchange with a guy and he was talking about buying a car and was going through some options, weighing them, the cost etc etc. At one point I said to him it’s kinda cute to see you overthinking this time. Because I’m always the overthinker and analyzer/anxious. He knows this. He responded ohh good I’m glad my pain brings you joy. I responded playfully, “you’re pretty”. I said no joy, if there was a problem yo I solve it and sent a gif of vanilla ice. I thought it was funny. He didn’t respond. I then asked if he was watching anything on tv tonight, he responds just the sky. I said see the moon? he responds no half an hour later. So I said I’m sorry if I poked fun at the overthinking. Wasn’t my intention. He didn’t respond and about half an hour later I just said Have a good night, sleep well. Was it wrong to have apologized? I felt like he was annoyed and I wanted to clear the air. Did I overreact?
Eric CharlesKeymasterHey Michelle,
If there’s a problem here, it’s not with whether or not you apologized…
Reading your message, it feels like you’re trying WAY too hard here…
As if you’re measuring every little thing you say and every little response from him…
And if that’s the case, that amount of pressure and need for everything to be perfect is going to kill any good attractive vibe the 2 of you because every step is so… filtered.
Contrast that against if you were in the headspace where this was a guy who you want but don’t “need” things to work out with…
As in, you like him, but whether things work out or not isn’t going to keep you up at night…
Ironically, you would naturally come off way more attractive because you’d be natural and flowing (and vibing) with the other person.
You wouldn’t worry about bumps in the road because you’d be mentally rooted in the bigger picture – they know I’m on their said and I know they’re on mine…
Michelle
So you’re telling me what I did was unattractive to him? I don’t understand. I was being playful, he shut down in which I perceived as being hurt. I apologized and that was wrong? I’m just trying to understand.
Michelle
Why couldn’t he have just said he was kidding as well or keep up the conversation when I said no joy in his pain or made a joke out of it?
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