Was the date even good?

No. Don’t say another word to him. You’ve already done too much.

You shouldn’t have been texting before the date. It sounds like you’ve been texting way too much already.

You say thanks and I had a good time as you end the date and then you leave him alone. It’s his move next. That’s how you know if he’s really interested or not. You poked at him by saying thanks again and then basically asked him out and got a lukewarm response. You’re taking his job which is pursuing you.

Now just leave him alone to come forward and ask you out again. Or not. It was only one date. It’s nice that it went well but it’s one date. And I”m confused as to why you go get coffee after having brunch? I would have ended it at brunch. You be the one to say, well gotta get going now.

In my book that would be already way too much texting. The date was only yesterday and you already had a few exchanges. Give him some time (and not an hour or two, more like a few days) and he should reach out.

A lot of men are super passive. I’d say give it a day or two, send another text and if you get a generic/low effort reply, move on. I’ve had a lot of guys tell me that they can’t gauge a woman’s interest anymore, especially if a woman is lukewarm about texting. A lot of guys are super funny about the “do not double text” rule.

But in general a guy eager to see you again will make plans really quickly. Most wishy washy guys are either dating a bunch of women and eventually circle back to you OR are not that into dating.

There is nothing wrong with texting a man thanks for a great date. A man with low interest is still going to be low interest (and not texting him isn’t going to change that), but the right man who is interested will appreciate it

A response of ‘oh’ however really doesn’t need a reply. Let it go. He will contact you if and when he wants to

“I’m so burnt out on dating nowadays that I have no idea if this is normal or he lost interest.”

I think the problem is people are too quick to assume someone has interest to begin with. Males included. I was guilty of the same as a 20yo but I learned quickly. All the things he did during the date, I wouldn’t conclude he has interest. Not yet. He could very easily have been in the moment. Have you never spent time with or talked to friends, family, coworkers etc and both of you agree you had fun and want to do XYZ later or someday, but then it doesn’t happen. Why do people think dates an exception to this?

I understand the various pressures of wanting to find someone. But if you want the dating lifestyle -and- want to to enjoy it, have low expectations. Especially online. Otherwise, dating may be a miserable experience for you.

Yeah low expectations are required.

I have had many great dates that became nothing. A lot of people out there just are not that motivated to date anymore, myself included. I had a lunch date for today and the guy went *poof* on the app. On paper we were a great match, similar interests. I was looking forward to it, sort of, but not really. I imagine he was in the same boat. Looking forward to it, sort of, not really, and he probably decided why bother.

It was probably a fine date. He probably even liked you. But most *interesting* and attractive people have a lot going on in life these days. And I do not meet dating other women, but work, hobbies, family life etc. You have to really want a relationship to pursue one.

A guy who is analyzing your texts is a person you want to dodge, as he would likely be insecure. Assume he is not doing this.