Was this a mistake that cannot be fixed anymore?

Its painfull to read, Why do act like a man?
And yes he is not interested

Yes, he doesn’t have romantic feelings or he most surely would have acted on them by now.

If I were you, I would distance myself, and start meeting other guys so to help keep your mind off of him. He’s intentionally keeping you at arms length so you don’t get any ideas that it will become something else. He likes you, as a “neighbor friend” that he see’s from time to time when he has some time in his busy life.

If I were you I would get out, meet more people, socialize with others, pick up some new hobbies, travel, anything but sitting around waiting for him to call when he has a bit of free time, just to go through the same cycle, again, and again, and again.

You have a lot of power over your life, and love life, just need to use it.

I wouldn’t be worried that you didn’t hear from him for 2 days after his vaccine. Some people have side effects for a few days, and that’s likely the case here. If he didn’t call you when he had a cold, I imagine he’s not going to call you if he’s not feeling well now, either.

That being said, it sounds as if he likes you as a friend. Would it make you feel better to find out if he’d want to go on a real date so that you can put it to rest if he clearly says friends only? No reason to continue staying stuck on him unless you’re avoiding the answer in order to hang on to the fantasy.

@Maddie Being delusional can lead to misery and that’s the reason I started this topic, I wanted to have the other people’s clear view. So no, I don’t avoid the answer. On the other hand the term “real date” confuses me (and many non-North Americans too, I suppose) since we don’t have certain rules or even a word about this practice. If by “date” you mean to go out for a walk/cinema/coffee with him to know each other better and have fun (because this is what we call date) we have already done this several times except the place.
@Tammy I’m not arranging anything. I just agree when he arranges. And yes, I’ll keep it casual as I have already decided what we are. Your phrase “impromptu casual friendly hangouts” is exactly what I was thinking.
By the way, I don’t use the word “friend” strictly here although sometimes calling someone “friend” is more because of the quality of the communication than the frequency and we have plenty of the former. This is from my perspective.

A real date means what you said except stating you like him as more than a friend so it’s clear you are interested in exploring romantic potential. Just clearly communicating. My understanding of European dating is you hang out informally and with friends until you decide to be official in a relationship after a while, but that doesn’t seem to be what this is. If you don’t want to lead yourself on and play games with yourself to push down your feelings (instead of getting over them), which distracts you from being interested in other people, then say something and he answers what he answers. You don’t have anything to lose.

@ Maddie You have a point a here when you advice me not to push my feelings down and express what I have in my mind and heart, but I’m with Tammy and I have decided to stay silent. It’s rather a proactive decision because if I ask him about his feelings and the answer is negative I’ll have created a very awkward situation and I believe none of us wants this. I prefer having a good relationship with him in general because you never know whether I need the neighbour’s help in the future (and the same holds for him).
Thank you again, girls, for your thoughts and your words of advice. I admit that this conversation helped me a lot to start clearing my mind and see things more objectively.

@Tammy I was sure that this topic would end after my previous answer but your phrase “many times guys don’t say things just kind of move in for a kiss or a light touch to show what they thinking at certain moments” triggered a couple of memories from some meetings with him. It wasn’t a certain touch, although during conversation it’s normal to touch other’s arm for a second and we both did it often, but it was something he said.
One night after 4 hours of talking and listening to the music as always, he got up off the sofa to return to his apartment and said “it’s late, I have to leave. I don’t want to but I have to “. It was the slight dizziness I had because of the alcohol? it’s because I’m not smart enough to react in a situation like that? I don’t know, the point is that I just smiled and I said nothing more than “OK”. A phrase like this may mean nothing but I will never find out if that moment it did meant something because of my stupidity and incapability.
The second memory was similar when after 6 (!) whole hours he said “I have to go, otherwise I’ll sleep here”. How would you respond to this? I told him in a playful mood that there was plenty of space for sleeping and he laughed saying that the sofa seemed comfortable.
What do you say now? Sometimes I wonder how I dare to think of a better love life since I’m such an idiot.

Jo you guys get along so well. and spend so many long hours together. I just don’t get it. hasn’t there been those few seconds at times or special moments when both of you felt something? or the air is laden with you know some kind of anticipation? excitement? i am not sure what to say because in my case usually most times when i felt something the men did too. you know that sexual tension in the midst of a nice dinner or a hang out or drinks?

to give you an example, i had met a man 9 years back and we met just few times but had sizzling chemistry. we were in touch on and off over the past decade. but we never really met nor get involved in the intervening years. out of the blue, in march before lock down, he was in my city and asked me to meet him for a drink/coffee whatever. so i did. i cant tell you how excited i was and the thought of meeting him after 9 years made me feel anxious. it was a very pleasant outing and we both hung around for a couple of hours and talked quite a bit. but well nothing happened and i was quite disappointed. he did offer to drop me home but since it was quite early i tuk an uber back home. i did text him later and told him guess the chemistry between us is no longer there. he said no he was feeling it and he could sense that even I felt the same. thing is he is and always has been a non-committal guy and still is. so we have just been friends all along. infact he also did say why didnt u lean in for a kiss if you felt attracted to me? he said he would have reciprocated if i had given some indication. but well hes always been a casual guy who doesn’t want deeper involvement so i never acted on this attraction. and he understands so neither has he.

what am saying is if there is some underlying chemistry, why hasn’t he made any move jo? so that makes us think that probably he doesnt feel it.

jo dont think of it as rejection. u enjoyed spending time with him and think hes attractive. you secretly crushed. but since he didn’t make a move or show his interest, you just kept this secret crush to self.

o thank you so much hun. :-). its so nice to know that my words could help lift someones spirit and get them feeling lighter and positive again. what you said and what you are going through, resonated with me.

the guy i talked about in my earlier post whom i have known for almost 10 years now and with whom things didn’t take off, i have been crushing on him for ages!! he likes me and i like him. and we both know that. we are also super attracted to each other. we both also know I am the emotional one and want more and he takes great pride in not getting too emotional about people or committed. or maybe i fell in love with him but he didn’t fall in love with me. shrug. so that’s that. i don’t look at it as rejection. simply that though we both like each other we just want different things from the other.

This liking for him doesn’t blind me to reality which is we cant ever become an item. if u accept reality it gets easy. I do go out and meet men have dates and am open to deeper relationships with other men.