Was this an excuse to text me or genuine?

He broke up with me right when the pandemic started then he would text me every 2-3 months with an apology and saying he missed me or asking to see me (I wasn’t giving in), I finally agreed this passed winter to get back together with him, it was brief since we both agreed we want different things and broke up again.

I don’t find it strange. It sounds like he just wanted to give you his condolences personally and check in to see how you were doing (buying the house, etc). He didn’t continue the conversation after you thanked him for his good wishes, so I don’t think he was looking for conversation.

I wouldn’t overthink it. If he were looking to engage in further conversation, or see you again, it would have been very easy for him to do so- and he didn’t. I would just take it for what it was, he was giving his condolences and wishing you well on the new place. I assume you didn’t have a bitter/angry breakup, if you’re still following/commenting on social media? So he’s probably just being friendly.

Liz,

I guess I wouldn’t have though much it if sent that text the weekend my cat passed. I just found it strange he would sent it over a week later, sort of out if the blue. Everyone else who called or texted about my cat did so the weekend she passed.

Right, and that’s okay, I didn’t mean it as he doesn’t care and is disingenuous about your cat and move, but he’s fishing and breadcrumbing, too. If he’s still stuck on you and was trying to make this happen in hopes you may change your mind (since what else is going to change?), that’s actually reflective of weak boundaries and pursuing unavailability on his part. There’s reasons for that, on his side. When there’s a very clear dealbreaker for me, but I want to stay friends because the person is cool and I care about them, there’s no on and off and ambiguity. You can be friends in that situation, but it doesn’t come with let me know if you change your mind or a subsequent power struggle (which may not be happening here, but I’ve seen it come to that before).

At this point, what do you want? I’m assuming you’re still attached to be asking the question. If you can’t hold your own strong boundaries around just being friends, I’d steer clear until you’re over it so that you can be emotionally available enough to meet a man who shares your goals.

I agree with Maddie about breadcrumbing,seeking validation and wanting to check your ‘temperature’ and he’ll keep doing it again in the future. His condolences provided a perfect opportunity to do it without making it obvious. It’s similar to the ‘hey I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d say hi’ thing exes pull all the time.

Nicole

It’s a guy thing, a man can sent you a text because he needs an ego stroke, validation and attention. Doesn’t matter what you reply him with, the fact that you engaged him is enough, he’s already got his fix. Which is why he then just stops replying or goes quiet again then you see him a month or 2 later.