Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Was this performance anxiety or more than just that?
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 8 months ago by
LJ.
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Genesis
Hi, so I would like to know what could possibly be the reasons why a man,That is very into a girl, that he considers gorgeous, with a very nice body, not be able to have sex with her, at the moment they are turning each other on, kissing, playing around both in intimate wear but the guy cannot hit that step, basically like if he was nervous!!
They just simply do not have sex, instead the just slept and cuddled, was there something wrong with either individuals?
I spoke with a man friend and he said it’s weird cause any guy would of had sex especially in a moment were they are both with almost no clothes no,perhaps erection problem?, or something about the girl?
Andrea
Is this couple in a relationship? If not, he’s probably already had sex fairly recently–maybe even earlier that day. Or he’s gotten off to porn already.
Newbie
Andrea, what would your answer be if they are in a committed relationship? Because your answer is totally ridiculous.
And to Genesis: we dont know. There are tons of answers and depend totally on the situation. He probably knows. You will learn if he is willing to let you in emotionallyShazel
Hi Genesis
That happened to me once with a guy I had started dating. The first time we tried he was unable to perform and it was very awkward, he was trying really hard to get it there but couldn’t. I was embarrassed for him…but didn’t make a big deal about it. I knew he had not been in a physical relationship for over a year. Well 3 dates later he was ready full blown …he apologized to me about the first incident he said he was very nervous the first time we tried and since he was drinking a lot of wine that may have also contributed to the nonperformance. He also said that it was probably too soon and it was good thing to do it when the time was right. That was the only time he had an issue so I would not be worried that he didn’t find you attractive. Most likely it is an issue he has and needs to be honest with you if it has happened before or if maybe something occurred that day/week stress/nerves that he was unable to perform.mama
Are you blaming yourself? You shouldn’t.
For they guy: Age can be an issue, health an be an issue, hormone levels an be an issue, nerves an be an issue, etc. (lucky for you all these things get to be an issue for you in your golden years! Do your best to stay healthy and keep that pelvic floor strong!)
If he is young, it’s probably just nerves.
Be nice (not patronizing), blow it off and try again (that time no pun intended).
mama
*can be
(I hate typos, sorry about that.)
LJ
Andrea, are you suggesting that there’s something wrong with a man in a committed relationship watching porn? It’s an odd and unhelpful thing to bring up.
Genesis, I’m assuming that you’re talking about a hypothetical situation and this didn’t actually happen. The man you talked to is just trying to act macho, pretending that any man will just have sex and perform just fine if he’s attracted to a woman and they’re both naked. That’s just bullocks. A man could be incredibly nervous in that situation and not be able to perform even if he’s really turned on. It happens.
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