Ways to stop yourself from texting them?

I tell myself that if he is not pursuing, then he is not mine anyway. If he is meant to be, he will be back.
And I keep my attention on things I like to do…the same things that I liked before he walked into my life, ..I just return my focus to all the constants in my life. My family, sports, work, hobbies, friends.
Till then, men will walk through the doors and it’s upto me how much they receive or take from me. How much fun I want to have is my choice. The right guy will stay and I will want him to stay.

I like and have to agree mostly with redcurlysue.

If you already know he won’t text back, or won’t give you the answer your looking for and how it will make you feel…..that for me makes me not text. Also like others posted, I text my mom , sister, friend, brother….anyone other than him. I sometimes email myself or write in my journal just to get off my chest what I want to say to him. Then delete it after a while and the urge to send to him is gone.
Sometimes I find that just writing is the best therapy and gives you the release you need without the pain you don’t.
Having other things to do and not texting or returning the call right away is also poignant. I had a guy who just stopped calling and took too long to return my calls. So when I stopped to see how long it’d take for him to call me, it was like 2weeks. But even then, when he did call or text, I ignored it for at least a day or so. He’d call again, then I answer/text.

This all sounds trivial and childish but the bottom line is if he’s interested he’ll never want to be out of touch with you. REGARDLESS! and that’s my take.

Don’t put more effort, thought, energy into it than he is.

It’s funny I just received a txt from an ex. Dated him a gazillion years ago, lost my virhinity to him and he walked away from me and dated another girl shortly after.. Ouchh! But we reconnected in April when he sent a fake txt giving me some stupid story about something we did. I responded and ended up going to see him when he was in town. Slept with him.. Ugh. Not what I remember about him it was worthless. We stayed in touch but never the sex thing.. Oy! I have no interest. He just sent me a txt and knew where he was going with the txt to me. I was very brief, very nice and wanted to keep it brief. I have no interest in him. I guess what I’m saying is I now know what type of txt I will receive from guys who are not interested. I just sent one. I don’t mind seeing him but that is it. It was 30 years ago when I met this guy! Seeing him in April healed a little piece of me. I am Thankful for that!

Same thing i did delete the number it also feels good. And you really just move on with your life and find a real man who is actually interested..

it does feel great to delete his number from your phone. it makes you feel empowered and you feel so much better knowing of the shitty feeling you get when you didn’t get the response you wanted, lack of response, half assed response IF you had sent one text. without sending one at all, you’re in the clear and it’s your way of saying fuck you, i am not wasting another minute, pulling teeth to have a conversation with me if you don’t want to. sometimes, it’s so easy to get warped up into this, but going on this forum, reading that others have experienced if not similar guy situations makes it better. i use this as a way to stop myself from over-obsessing about him not texting me what i want/what i want him to ask me/ initiating. if you’re diminishing texting and contacting altogether, he will FOR SURE notice. men aren’t stupid. and if he truly wants to stay in contact, believe me he will make sure to keep you around. it’s very important to keep the mindset of being a woman who is valuable, who needs to be earned, and actions need to prove that you will let him in/allow him to be a part of your life. i think a lot of women tend to think of it the other way around…that the men have the power in doing the choosing. even if you’re feeling like shit at the moment, make him believe that you’re doing the choosing (which you are), and YOU need to be able to decide if HE fits in with YOUR life, not the other way around. life happens, but the right guy will stick around no matter the petty hiccups, texting madness/misunderstandings. he will stick around if he really, really likes you. enjoy your Saturday night girls!

I reconnected with ex after 15 yrs. Still had feelings. We had nice conversation for a month. It turned into sexting we had an amazing sex life. As I started feeling closer I disclosed all my feelings,bad idea.I am bipolar and can’t be up and down. We live far away and never talked on phone. Couldn’t explain myself. I just looked pushy and defensive. I was disrespectful and bothersome. To the point he says I need help and he can’t help me and he thinks In a good person and hopes everything works out for me. Says no need to reply, yet I did I feel misunderstood, but it doesn’t matter. He says he’s scared of me. I have made a mess of this.I wrote things I thought but shouldn’t say. I’m adhd and impulsive.Im sad

This is what works for me:

I remember receiving so many texts from guys who were trying to get my attention, get me to be in a relationship. They would try being funny, flirty, friendly, romantic, even try to make me feel like I was a real bitch/loser not accepting their advances, or try to make me jealous.

I could always see through it. I would roll my eyes or feel repulsed or feel manipulated or show my friends the text and we would all have a good laugh.

Would you want him to respond that way to a text from you? As long as the energy is out of balance between you, he will likely have a negative reaction to a text from you. Don’t risk it. Let him come to his own conclusion in his own time about the relationship. Meanwhile, text your friends. A lot.

When you don’t grant someone space that they requested, their reaction to your texts will never be what you want it to be.

Just keep your pride and dignity in tact. That is all.If a guy asks for space give him all the space he needs I would be too embartased to even want to call him. This should not be so difficilt. Just do what he asks. you may not even want to bother with him if and when he comes back.

All of these replies have helped me at a very difficult time. I gave been on and off with a guy for 6 years and I’ve always been the one to push him away, I’m scared to get close. This is probably due to my ex husband leaving me after 23 years I’ve realised I’ve never dealt with this emotional heartbreak. Now my guy has left me saying he needs time. I’m going out if my head and it’s only been 4 days. I want to text him so bad but I know it’s the wrong thing to do.

Thank you all for your ways of resisting to contact him you are all very strong people.

Your best friend treats you this way?!
Not a very good friend in my book…

What do you do when you get the same treated from your girlfriends?

Are you sure you don’t have feelings for him?

Yeah! He can go on as long as 4 months with zero contact. And telling everyone that I ignore him and leave him hanging.
It’s so annoying having people look at me like I’m some sort of needy no commitment girl who has left him whereas its completely the opposite.
And no I don’t have feelings for him, I only consider him a very close friend so his behavior sort of hurts you know?

All my girlfriends say that I should just stop and tell him to get lost, but can you really say that to someone you consider a very good friend?
I’ve started texting myself whenever I feel like texting him, I hope I’m able to hold on to my self respect this time..

Tess – you need to make your own post.