Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › We are having casual sex, but its very intimate…need opinions?
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nikki.
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Eliza
I am not the type to sleep around with random guys, but every now and then I like to step outside the box and leave my comfort zone. I am 21 and in my final year of uni and recently just been looking for a bit of fun. I started chatting to a guy on tinder for a laugh and he ended up asking me for my number, we texted for about 2 days and then he asked me on a date, I agreed and we went for drinks in a local bar. To my surprise it went really well, we had a great banta, same interests/experiences and the date flowed very well, I decided what the hell I will go home with him and have a good night, we slept with eachother and I stayed over. We texted a little bit for the next couple of days after that, only basic, and we decided to meet up again (3 days later since the first time) So I went to his, we watched a few movies and ate some food then had sex again,
so to me this is quite clearly casual sex, we met online, got on really well and enjoy eachothers company and sex, however the sex and us hanging out is quite intimate….during sex he will stare at me the entire time, be really gentle, kiss me and smile constantly and cup my face, asking me if I feel good, it feels like relationship sex. When were not having sex he is cuddling me the whole time and smiling at me and chatting about all sorts, we will laugh together and just cuddle all night and not let go, pretty much how an intimate couple would act. At the moment in my mind I have only met this guy twice and yes at the moment it is casual, but i’m open to seeing if it goes somewhere, do these signs mean it possibly could? or from experience do guys act like this in any kind of sex? I want to be intimate towards him too but im not sure how I feel 100%.Mandy
So this is the problem. It’s way too early on, to start thinking that this could be more than casual sex. Even though the encounters seem intimate, that could just be his “style” and could be like that with everyone. Online dating is tricky. I met quite a few guys in person. One in particular, (sounds similar to your story) wanted just sex. When you meet someone for the first time and have sex the first night, only shows that guy that that’s the kinda girl you are. He probably thinks that you sleep with every guy you meet online, on the first date. I’m not saying sleeping with someone on the first date is bad, (we all do it!) but it is the FIRST impression you are giving to the guy. He thinks he can just get it from you when he wants. But my advice to you: keep looking at it as casual sex. Don’t get ahead of yourself, because that can be setting you up for your heart to be broken. Please. Don’t read too much into his lovemaking style. It’s still too soon.
Harley
Sounds like just sex. texting is lazy. ASK him is he looking for a relationship……….I bet the answer is no………….so… IT’S ONLY SEX HE’S INTERESTED IN.
Eliza
Yeah your right, I didnt think about whether that is just his style! I went into this only looking for sex too so Im not bothered that thats his first impression of me, I was just curious about the intimacy too soon! I was actually only looking for something to get out of my system, but he just turned out to be rather nice, anyway thankyou I will keep that in mind and stay casual enless I get too strong feelings
Lagirl
Men tend to have their moves and lines. They use them on every woman. I was with a few men who cheated on me and had a chance to compare notes with the other women… Those men said the same things and did the same things in bed. No difference, just different woman.
This is why I crack up when women write on here that the man’ tells me things he never told anyone!” Lol, I truly doubt that…
Ashley
Sex affects girls in a way it does NOT affect guys. Sex for a girl could seem romantic, when the guy is seeing absolutely none of the same thing. I think you’re getting too attached & wrapped up into it. You need to take a few steps back & relax. If he wants you to be his girlfriend, he’ll make it clear. I would recommend making sure when you interact with him keep it cool or else he might get scared off
notshy
I’ve been where you are Eliza. Don’t take his “sex” moves outside of the way he feels outside if the bedroom. Men can be super sweet when they are caught up in the moment and anticipation of sex. That doesn’t mean they want full time BF responsibility. Its really confusing, I know, because it feels so good to be cuddled, kissed, hugged, held…etc, but as soon as you want that full time, and they don’t, you might as well hang it up. I say enjoy yourself, but leave after the sex is over, and don’t be overly affectionate to him. A little coldness can go a long way even though it’s the opposite of what you want to do.
marbles
Definitely a sex thing. My last FWB was very intense/intimate during sex, even from the first time. He would look straight into my eyes, kiss me gently, stroke me, hold my hands etc. and even after sex he would hold me for hours/stay over and stay for the next day too.. but that was it. It never transpired into anything more.
nikki
I’m in the same boat.. he’s so sweet to me at the time of “love making” and after no text for days. he says how much he likes or loves me then nothing..wth. I told him I’m just here for sex no need to use your player words..but he said its for reals…yeah sure :/
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