Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › We spend 2 months apart
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Sensy.
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Danita
I have met a guy some time ago and we are compatible in every level, including communication MO. We don’t text each other unless it’s for making plans. He sometimes calls me, but almost never to chat, mostly to make plans, which is ok, as we see each other every two days and spend weekends together. As we see each other so often, there is no need for other forms of communication as apparently we are both not whatssaping/calling types.
However, we both went to our countries to visit our families and because of covid, we probably won’t arrange any get together weekend during next 1-2 months, till we get back to the country we live in. We had our farewell evening yesterday.
I am kind of worried that we will drive apart, because of the lack of communication. It’s probably silly of me to think that, but I feel anxious. I don’t know how to handle it, because the thing with him is pretty fresh, it’s an exclusive relationship, but still only 2 months in.
I don’t know what my exact question is. I am just concerned that if we stick to our usual communication pattern, which is no chatting as we see each other so often, it will fizzle out.
Anyway, it was only one day, so I still don’t know, if he will call or text me regularly, knowing that we will be apart at least 1 month, most probably 2 months. I for sure won’t start to pester him with some messages, just to enjoy his attention.
The background is: we met via tinder and clicked. Since the first date, we see each other 2-3 times a a week, usually spend weekends together. There is 10 years of age difference. I feel calm, safe and well taken care off with him. It’s just now that I feel anxious, because I know we won’t be able to see each other for so long.
Sandybean
I am surprised you did not bring that up with him when you saw each other last night. I would call him and have a conversation about it. Tell him what you would like to happen during the time you’ll be apart (e.g. I’d like for us to call each other once a week) and then ask him what he thinks and how he would like to stay in touch while you’re gone.
Knowing each other’s expectations will prevent you both from worrying and second-guessing and making assumptions about why the other person does/doesn’t text or call.Lane
Hi Danita! Glad you found what appears to be a healthy balanced relationship :o)
I wouldn’t be overly concerned about the lack of communication during this short time-frame as chatting too much can become mundane and boring when there isn’t a whole lot to talk about. I would say every two to three days would be a good schedule to not only keep the communication livelier but to let him miss you while your apart too.
Just know men fall in love in a woman’s absence! This is a great time to really see how much he misses you, as he’ll be thinking of you very often to the point he will be compelled to reach out just to hear your voice. I would look at it as the cup is half full in this circumstance as it sounds like you have a pretty good solid bond already, and before you know it, the two months will be over and you’ll get right back to where you left off :o)
Danita
Thank you Lane, that really cheered me up :)
Yes, I believe we bonded already emotionally. He is lovely and caring, I enjoy the royal treatment. I guess that I am anxious mostly because I miss him already. Anyway, I don’t want to destroy the dynamic, where he leads and makes effort to keep contact with me. I do to, but I do not reach out first, especially when I know that he is busy and I don’t want to add the pressure. So I wait.
I understand that if it’s meant to be he will make it happen, so I have to trust him in that matter.
Sandybean, it didn’t occured to me. I will definitely bring that up when he calls me.
Sensy
Less is more!
Sensy
It is not something you should concern yourself with. If the attraction is there to fuel a relationship, it is meant to be. If not, you will be free to meet another.
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