We were getting a long great, but I fear I may have pushed him away

I am just a lowly person. I am nothing and nobody with nothing to offer to anybody. His gesture, to most, would probably seem small and insignificant, but to somebody who’s life is dull and meaningless, it was everything.” Oh sweetie. This is what I was concerned about, you’re running very low self-esteem. This belief about yourself you’re holding is why people don’t treat you well. Please please please get working with a therapist to feel more positive about who you are. None of this is true, everyone is someone and has something to offer and you are no exception.

Agree with Angie. Focus on self. And forget the guy. You just had a brief interaction but that’s over and dusted. many of us at times go a little overboard about our idols or people we admire because of their achievements. You did the same. that’s natural and not a big deal. he may have many followers or admirers of his work. So he’s used to presenting a polite and courteous self to his fans/admirers. that’s all. You just admired the guy and was thankful that he took time out to praise your work. that’s about it. dont put yourself down. noone is a nobody. we all have something to offer.

I understand. I do think it’s possible I may have “fan-girled” a bit, but I just really wanted him to know how much I appreciated working with him and what it meant to me, because it did mean a lot. Not because my life is dull an meaningless… I know it isn’t. But having been a fan for so long, I’ve always been fascinated by his work and it inspires me and the work I do. And I just wanted him to know that.

I feel like in my attempts to put that across, I put out the wrong impression and really, that is what’s at the heart of all of this is… I just want to know that things are cool between us. Maybe for him, this was just another collaboration and now he’s onto the next thing, but this experience meant a lot to me, and I’ve been so happy these last few weeks and didn’t want it to end. Not because I have nothing in my life that brings me happiness and joy, this was just a different kind of happiness I’d never experienced before, and never thought I’d ever get to. It was a dream come true in a sense. Nobody ever wants a good dream to come to an end.

Gosh!! Girl ur analogies are out of this world!! First you call yourself nothing. Now u call urself a dog.

He reciprocated for a bit to his fan bec that was the polite n sweet thing to do.. ur again going overboard in ur analysis. Hey if someone praises me am happy. But if smone overdoes it, that can get annoying. And come across as fake flattery simply to get in my gud buks.

Yeah gud he hasnt blocked you. So pls dont give him reason to do so going ahead. Lol.

“I am nothing and nobody and nothing to offer…”.

This is a false belief. You are beautiful.

It is just a guess, but believe he found you attractive and likely wished to bed you.

I am going to say some things that are going to come across as unkind. Your whole vibe just drags on other people. It feels needy, inauthentic and bordering on narcissistic in the I am nothing, I am nothing… his whole reaction must be my fault and unless he validates me, I am not ok. It is your responsibility to esteem yourself.

No one told you to forget, but he does not owe you a darn thing. And your feelings, your feeling, your feelings… seem to leak all over everything. Don’t tell me not to feel is an excuse for letting those feelings ooze everywhere.

Answers come from you. They never come from others… expecting people to be consistently clear and engaged is about expecting unrealistic things from the world.

Please go to a therapist, you can turn this around, but stop blaming others for why you don’t take care of yourself emotionally and expect things that are unreasonable from kind acquaintances.

The good news is that you cabs heal from trauma, but you have to do the work, and not blame others for why you do what you do

What you said wasn’t unkind, I appreciate you putting it all out there.

I don’t disagree with you, it probably does come off as being needy, but it’s not intentional. And I am not looking for anybody to validate *me*. I was confused about the situation at hand and was looking for any suggestions or advice to help clear it up.

As for the rest, sure, I could probably benefit from going to a therapist. I don’t need to to be told that. But that’s hard to do when you don’t have health insurance and can’t afford to pay for visits out of pocket. So that’s simply not a possibility at this moment in time. Telling me something I already know isn’t helpful. A lot of doctors in my area also are not currently accepting new patients (I’ve looked into this already). I also do not have any kind of external support network- no family, no friends, nothing. So when something happens in life, I don’t have anywhere or anyone to turn to to try and make sense of anything. That’s why I’m here asking this forum about it because I thought people would be understanding and supportive. Even if I did have a doctor, it would be days or week before I can get in to be seen. That doesn’t help me to deal with things the moment.

I appreciate everybody’s feedback and value it. I know he doesn’t owe me anything, I never said he did. I was simply trying to make sense out of a situation I was struggling to understand. My apologies for reaching out to ask, I can see now that this was the wrong thing to do.

I don’t need validation. Just understanding.