What causes absolutely crazy sexual attraction between two people?

Look up ‘infatuation’

This is my current relationship, and we’ve been together for over 7 months now. The best way I can describe it is there’s a magnetic pull between us and we are drawn to each other when we are in the same room. After 7 months it is still as intense.

We’ve struggled in other areas such as compatibility of our personalities. We’ve had to take a step back and slow down the relationship because I think the attraction and amazing sex can easily cloud things. My BF and I have known each other for a long time, his feelings towards me began while I was still married to my ex. I think because of our history, we have a strong desire to be together and try to work things out. Maybe this makes us an exception, but I do think that if two people want to be together they can find a way to make it work.

When I was in my late 20’s, early 30’s, I could go 3 rounds with a girl several times a day if she’d let me. I was just really fit and super horny (higher levels of testosterone I guess). She loved the sex, and would say, “OMG, How do you do that?!?!?!”. She screamed so loud, I’m sure the neighbors could hear her, and surprised the cops never showed up. That lasted 2 years.

The girl before here was the same way, but she drove me nuts with her jealousy that I had to part ways with her, but that steady for 4 to 6 months.

Physical chemistry. It can go off the charts.

If you are both single and enjoy the sex it is great. It would be nice if you felt loving as well but sometimes we don’t get everything at the same time.

Enjoy the ride…do not put your heart into it unless you feel you could love him and him you.

In this case I have genuinely thought I wasn’t going to like him. I knew he liked me, he was asking me for a date online for probably a year before I met him. I was THAT not bothered by the idea. Then I met him and BOOM.

We live kind of far apart (around 2 hours) and I wasn’t looking to have a full on relationship right now and neither was he. Me because I got out of one last year that was an engagement and it sucked a lot and I am enjoying freedom, and him because he’s got the famous intimacy issues I guess.

The passion is just crazy, mental, unexpected and completely out of control. We’re like seeing each other a lot, despite the distance, and despite saying we wanted casual it;s turning into whole weekends of staring into each other’s eyes.

I guess from my end…yes…there could definitely be feelings but:

1. I was a little concerned my “brain” might have been overtaken by the total lust factor.

2. I was a little concerned for him it was just great sex.

I mean, he messages me all day and makes a huge effort to be with me…I mean…he got off a plane after 8 hours travel the other day and went another two hours to come to my place even though he must have been totall exhausted because he couldn;t wait another minute.

I don’t really want to get lost in all the passion if it’s just sex for him. I know men can be way diferrent. He’s no Mickey Rourke from 9.5 weeks (more like Ross from Friends ha ha! Science dork) but he has said it’s by far he’s never been so attracted to anyone in his life. I don’t want to run away with my mind reading into that.

Also, strangely, I ALWAYS go for men where we have this really chilled dynamic where he makes me feel totally relaxed and I feel completely in control and we never argue.

With this guy, it is like emotional fireworks too. I mean, we fight! We fight even in the first few weeks together to the point of not seeing each other – like playing a game of who needs who the least (insecurity) and then we literally go 3 or 4 days and HAVE to see each other again. Strangely we get on so well, SO well, but we also fight. It’s like he brings out this side of me that’s really defensive. I don’t think I like feeling such a strong and magnetic desire for someone that I am not in control and he totally fascinates me.

It’s so weird.

Urgh, glad you know what I mean then Leila.

Without wanting to be TMI, I mean, we literally have sex and ready to go again 10 seconds later. We have injuries! We even have phone sex and two seconds later he is full on ready to go again and he says it’s ridiculous and he’s never been like that before. Me either. Just like you say his skin sets mine on fire. The way he smells, speaks, smiles, talks, what he says. There’s nothing mazing about him, but just amazing to me.

I hope it does turn into a relationship, because I’d hate to stop feeling like this.

Leila that’s freaky.

We also had the worst fights in the first two months. The fighting also took over for a while. I am SO easygoing normally but he just brings out the total fire in me. I also ended it (more than once at the start actually) but one big time we went three weeks and I thought we were really done and then we came back together even stronger than before. How strange that it mirrors your situation so much. Maybe all that passion ignites emotions as well as lust?

We are better now, we learned a little from it, I am also late thirties, he is early thirties. I thought fighting was a bad thing, but it’s like we communicate so well even though it’s a little volatile. We don’t shout or anything, but it’s more like all feelings of doubt, jealousy, fear and all of that are enlarged along with the lust part so it creates this amazing storm of emotions.

Fingers crossed I get to keep him and it grows into more. It feels sooooo great.

The fighting is as passionate as the rest of it, haha. Just the other night, I drove to see him because our schedules are crazy this month and we’re not going to really see each other for some time. I walked in the door and he was full of tension and frustration. Needless to say, we ended up getting into an argument and I just got and started packing my bags. He left the room for a minute and then came back in and walked kind of forcefully towards me. I turned away and was expecting the worse. He walked right up to me and said, “can we just start over?” I responded, “I would love that,” and he grabbed my face in his hands, kissed me, then he hugged me and apologized for hurting me. He’s not the apologizing kind of guy either. I’ve never had this kind of amazing, passionate, stop my heartbeat with anyone else before. Some days it scares the shit out of me!

Melissa, I hate you. LOL

Enjoy the effing thing to the fullest!!

This is what I’d call a passionate fling. I’ve had them and they’re fabulous! Lots of fun and intensity!

Just be realistic about what it is. It’s not love, it’s chemistry. It always seems to be with an “opposites attract” kind of person who’d never be a suitable life partner for me!

I would say, it’s a really rare and passionate chemistry, that can grow into the best/biggest loving relationships, true love. :)
Enjoy it, and I agree with never attacking him with personal things, be always fair and loyal.

Happy 2016 :)

This is interesting and I have had this too. I have dated guys where we really hit it off personality wise and I love spending time with them but there is no sexual spark… that hat happened a while back with a guy that I got on with so well… we laughed, liked the same things, he was tall, good looking, smart and funny but we were not a match sexually and I don’t even know why. The guy I have been seeing for two years now is my sexual match.. it is off the charts carnal, crazy and out of control. I love his smell, his hands, his hair, skin, voice and he’s the same about me. the chemistry is electric, ridiculous.