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Mary.
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April
We started dating about a month ago, so it’s not like we were together a super long time. But, we clicked quickly and moved fast. We had the talk and decided to be exclusive and he was even starting to leave things at my place. We slept together for the first time on Thursday. Then we had an argument on Friday. We were both at fault. Since the argument (our first ever), he’s pulled away and hasn’t responded to my texts. I’m not going to chase after him and beg, so after a few texts went unanswered, I stopped trying to get in touch with him. Did we break up? Are we doing no contact? Nothing has been said since the argument so I don’t know where we stand. How should I proceed?
Raven
What was the argument about?
You’ve text him, with silence on his end?
It’s been 4 days?
Maddie
Do you want to even date someone who disappears at the first sign of conflict? That works for you?
April
The argument was about his lack of support for me in a difficult situation.
Yes, I texted him a few times on Saturday and never got a response. So I haven’t sent anything else since.
I mean, I’m really surprised he reacted the way he did when I confronted him. So maybe I don’t want to date someone who runs at the first sign of conflict.
I guess I just want to know where we stand. Are we broken up? Would you consider this a break up? And if not, then how long do I wait for a response from him before I call it a break up and move on?
Should I text him and let him know I’m moving on? If so, at what time do I do that? It’s just so bizarre and childish that he’s acting like this.
He’s 31, btw.
Tammy
U had a fight bec he dint show support. He dint support you on what issue? And how did u confront him? There is a similar thread going on whr the same situation happened. He dint show support so the lady woke him past 2 am and fought with him in the street. She apologized thereafter but he stoppd responding to her msgs. I think he shld not hv gone silent bec thats def not the way to resolve issues. But then again he dint show support on what matter? If its unfair confrontation over very trivial issue, he may be having 2nd thoughts himself about continuing this alliance with you!
Ewa
he slept with you and suddenly the next day he disappear after an ‘argument’ , sorry but to me he got what he wanted , so assume he is gone
Maddie
If you’re the same person who knocked on the rv who posted the other day then yes, I’d consider this a break up, and for the best. You two aren’t compatible. A month is too soon for a blow out fight when the relationship works. Find someone who brings out the best in you instead.
April
Not the RV girl…He was supposed to accompany to a work event (work has been extremely stressful to the point where I’m looking for another job because it gives me such bad anxiety). He cancelled on me at the last minute. I started getting mad thinking he just slept with me and now was going to disappear.
But in reality there was a power outage in his neighborhood and he couldn’t open his garage, his Tesla hadn’t charged, and he couldn’t get out of the gated community he lives in because of the outage. But he didn’t say all that when he cancelled! He just told me that he was gonna be late or not make it and it felt like he was blowing me off.
When the work event was over, I stopped by his place (a little after midnight). He usually stays up pretty late, but this time he had been asleep. We didn’t get into a huge blow out fight. I didn’t even yell. I just spoke firmly and cried a little. He explained the situation and said he knew I was stressed and wished he could have been there for me. He put his arm around me and we ended the night with a kiss goodnight.
When I woke up Saturday morning, I noticed I’d had a few texts from him. He said I scared him stopping by like that. He thought it was “something important.” To me it WAS important. I told him that, but also apologized. I haven’t heard from him since. I sent a few more texts, but got no response.
He left a few things at my place – a toothbrush, massage oil, and a candle, along with some plates I didn’t want anymore that he said he’d take. Not sure if he’ll be back for those things or if he’ll just let them go. I assume if it’s a breakup, he won’t be back for them.
I’m just a little confused because we didn’t have a huge blow out fight. Yes, we had an argument, but I thought it was settled.
Tammy
So he cancelled on you last minute but did not give any reason.. and you after your event is over, go over to his place at night uninvited and without intimating him? Wow. you were hoping to catch him on the wrong foot! But were surprised that he was asleep. There are soo many wrongs here !!!
Firstly this was ur imp event, yet when it was over you went to his place unvited and without informing! Secondly u went late at night! Third you went with the intention of catchin him out and for a confrontation! Why the desperation? Couldnt you hv waited for the next day and talkd to him calmly?
If i had to cancel for these reasons and the guy came over to my olace late night without informing even i wouldnt like it! Not only does it show that he doesnt trust me at all but also shows how crazy he is that he had to come over aftr his imp event despite me cancelling on him last minute.
He had a valid reason for bailing out on you last minute but what reason do u hv for running to his house uninvited late in the night? Am sorry but this does reflect badly on you. I wld be upset as well if i was in ur bf’s shoes. He is justified i think on thos occasion..
Give him some time and let him revert. And dont keep msging him. You hv alrdy goofed up by running over to his place late night uninvited. If he still doesnt msg thn u can drop a line aftr few days and see how he responds to that. In the meanwhile, i think you should step and let him get in touch.
Raven
Throw this one back, he’s not Mature enough!!
Mary
He’s definitely self centered and insensitive. Good deal that your mistake was not in a situation with a keeper and learned in this situation.
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