What do to?

It’s definitely taken me some time to write this because my thoughts have been all out of sorts and I’m struggling to stop the anxiety spiral. I’m going to condense as much as I can..
I have been in a situationship for nearly two years; the past few months have been different and getting more serious—actually going out, pet names, deeper conversations etc etc.
I’ve wanted nothing more from this man and have kept going back to him because I know there is something special between us (cliche I know!). He even said there was no one else he was seeing.

Things have been going so well and we have both made pretty significant, positive changes in our career paths recently and I thought, this is finally it, we’re both in a place where this is going to work out.
And then he left out of the blue. Over a text message.
Said he doesn’t see a future with me and he’s sorry but his heart isn’t in it and he thinks he caught feelings for a friend (who lives across the country ahahaha).
Said he had to move on from me and suddenly blocked me on everything. Later on that, because I don’t think it has anything to do with another woman.

All my friends think it’s for the best but something isn’t right. I am absolutely devastated and rightfully so. I made the mistake of begging him not to leave but nothing. This was three and a half weeks ago now…
I’ve also been very supportive of him as of lately and he consistently told me he was grateful and how much he cared about me and how happy I made him..so I’m very lost.

Some things you should know about me:
I’m super stubborn and have high standards. I’ve been in really abusive, manipulative relationships in the past and I have a low bulls**t tolerance. I usually move on quickly. I am well aware of my worth. I am attractive, intelligent, funny and thoughtful. I hustle hard and am financially independent. I go to therapy and work out. I have boundaries but can be very empathetic. I have a lot of friends I make a lot of time for, I am comfortable being by myself and doing things on my own. I genuinely am typically fine being single, and this behavior of his is usually a HARD no from me but something is different this time. I do actually think I love him. I’d forgive him in an instant. If he came back I wouldn’t think twice about it.

I genuinely think things were getting too real and he panicked. He has some mental health issues himself that he should probably check.

I know I’m better this and probably should just move on but I can’t. I don’t know how to explain it, he’s just…it. We have incredible chemistry and a lot in common. I’ve never considered sharing my life with someone until him. As I’ve said, I’ve dated in between but always go back to him.

If you’ve read this far I’m sorry to be all over the place. I have such bad anxiety it has been consistently ripping through my chest down my arms into my fingers. I haven’t slept in weeks. He’s always on my mind. I genuinely do not care what other people have to say or think, I just need to figure out how to get him back in my life.

I’m disappointed he would prefer to run from his feelings because he’s so phobic of commitment (we’ve been doing this 2 years, we’ve been friends almost 10!) but I know he feels the same about me so I just don’t know what to do. I’m afraid if I call him on a private number he’ll think I’m nuts. Or what if he doesn’t even answer? What if I actually never hear from him again?