Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › What does "Exclusive" FWB Mean?
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 6 years, 3 months ago by
Jacqueta.
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Alea
Isn’t that a relationship? Long story short – rekindled with exbf, he lives in a southern state and I’m in the northern states…we’ve been friends for over 30 years; broke up because I went to college/he moved south; we’ve seen each other once a year for the past four years.
Last year he asked how I would feel about FWB and I told him I’m fine with that…then he blurts out: “If you want to date others though, let me know and I’ll step out of the picture.” Yes, MY bad for not responding/asking to what THAT meant. As FWB’s2018 we saw each other 3 times, not the normal one time
It’s been 1-year as FWB’s (he’s been here/I’ve been there) sometimes we hang out with no sex sometimes we hang out and eventually have sex. His phone calls/texts have increased frequency, he sends me gifts and he’s making plans for activities for 2019. Is this still FWB’s? I’m curious as to your thoughts.
Phillygirl
No, it is NOT dating.
It means two people who are casually sleeping only with each other, until one of you finds the person they actually want an actual relationship with.
Now there are instances where things start out this way and develop into more, but it’s rare, only happens when a man TELLS you he wants to change the dynamic.
I would never agree to FWB with someone I’d like a relationship with, because it says you are only good enough for sex and something temporary.
If you want a real relationship with potential for something serious, he ain’t your guy. Sounds like he made that explicitly clear.
Men enjoy the attention, time and attention of a woman. That doesn’t mean he wants a relationship.
I think you are going to get hurt.
Alea
Thanks, PhillyGirl, didn’t say I wanted a relationship (something serious) with him…was confused why anyone who wants FWB adds a disclaimer that if we sleep with someone else, we’re not FWB’s anymore. I’ve noticed an increase in his “attention” and communication with me over the past year – and, at my age, confused about how FWB’s can be “exclusive”…times have changed.
Sisi
He does not want to deal w STD
Phillygirl
Could be fear of an STD, also men are generally territorial. Just like a toddler with a toy, they don’t like to share.
If you are fine with this, then I amend my previous statement about you getting hurt.
Emma
Those “labels” and “titles” are not written in stone. They are different for different couples. To some FWB means copulating like horses. We’ve seen even women here hammering “he doesn’t owe you anything” over and over again just because it is FWB. For most people friendship with sex is exactly that, friendship with sex. Not necessarily leading up to marriage. Or not yet.
And in many cases things progress further. It does not have to be an announcement from a man, but a one point it is good to clarify where you stand.
I find that women jump the gun in the wrong situations way too often and yet drag them when they actually need to end it. If he is progressing towards spending more time with you, buying you gifts, etc, and if you are not in a hurry to get married, then why do you care is it FWB and what kind of FWB it is? What matters is how he treats you, how you feel about him, and whether you are enjoying each other company and do fun things.
Emily
You should ask him what it means to him. It can be different for everyone, as someone else said.
Jacqueta
Sometimes the label FWB has more emphasis on the “B” than on the “F” in that those involved meet mostly for friendly sex and less than as friends. Usually, this seems to be because the relationship (and yes.it is a relationship) is quite new and, for whatever reason, the two involved don’t see it as a long-term commitment. Hopefully, they also have other friends.
You are in a totally different position:
You’ve been Bf/GF before.
You have since been friends, for 30 years!
Seems to me that might complicate his or your feelings about an FWB arrangement.I can’t know what his gifts and increasing text contact means. Nor why he is asking for exclusivity. Maybe he is wooing you? Maybe it’s because he is acknowledging a change in the dynamic without wanting to re-enter a BF/GF relationship. Maybe the “B” simply makes him feel he should be more attentive.
As for planning ahead, that doesn’t necessarily mean he sees this as a long-term partnership. (I have longer-term plans with friends.}
Your post doesn’t make clear what you want. I suggest you work it out and then talk to him about it.
This is a difficult situation and I wish you luck.
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