Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › What does his body language mean?
- This topic has 11 replies and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by
MsAqua.
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Steph
Hi Everyone,
So I’m at a conference this past week and decide to go to a bar with a bunch of friends in the area. I meet a really attractive guy who seems to be interested in me. We talk for a little bit and introduce ourselves, and then I leave to dance with my friends. A short time later, I go to the front of the bar and see him again and we start chatting. Now, I’m pretty short, and the bar’s really loud because there’s a live band there, so I stand on my tiptoes to reach his ear so he can hear me. Every time I get closer to him, he puts his hand on my lower back. A few times, he lets it slide even a little bit lower. We danced together and had a good time but didn’t exchange numbers. I found out later he has a girlfriend, but he was honestly really touchy with me. What does it mean when guys put their hand on your lower back? At one point he even put his hand across my stomach!! So basically, what the heck was going on here?Mistral
What is going on? A man was raised to be a gentleman so he put his hand on your back while you were on your tippie toes so you wouldn’t fall down and break your neck.
If you think more went on, then may be it did and maybe it didn’t. Since he has a girlfriend and he didn’t ask for your number I’d say he was just being a nice person and would have done the same thing had you been a 90 year old lady too. I’m assuming you’re not a 90 year old lady.
Alexis
I wouldn’t think anything of it. He was being a guy and just flirting. Flirting doesn’t necessarily mean that someone has a romantic interest in you. It just gives some flare to conversation. For example, I am always flirting over the phone at work with people. Just trying to add some type of charisma and charm to the mix. This is just in my personality.
Clearly at this point it doesn’t matter what he was doing because he has a girlfriend.
Be careful though try not to get wrapped up in gestures like that.
Gemini615
He was being flirty… nothing more to it. I don’t understand why you really care? He has a gf, you’re away on a conference and will likely never see him again.
Katie
What does it matter what it means if he has a girlfriend?
It obviously means he enjoyed touching your back, or he wouldn’t have And to tiptoe and talk into a man’s ear is proactive, you might want to let the guy lean to you, but I think basicaly by leaning into him, you invited more physical contact. Physical contact can mean attraction but a man not acting on it cause he’s attached (girlfriend) means he’s not available.
Steph
Not sure why I’m getting some testy responses asking why I care and what not. Just trying to figure out what guys mean when they do certain things since they’re a mystery to me still. None of you where there to see how handsy he actually was during that time and obviously it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, but I just don’t get why guys get that flirty with other women when they’re taken. Another girl I was at the conference with had her hand on the back of his neck and they looked like they were about to kiss each other but didn’t, so obviously he wasn’t acting like he had a gf. I just don’t understand why men always seem to exceed boundaries when they really shouldn’t. If I was his gf, I don’t think I’d approve of the way he was behaving.
Ivy
Steph, Ok, but truly it actually doens’t matter and nobody here knows what it means but I think you know what it means cause you stated it pretty clear that he was touchy feely and you are right. YOu are correct in your analysis that he’s flirty and overstep boundaries that you would not be happy with. All men have different boundaries, some cheat, some don’t, some flirt, some don’t, some will get physical with another woman if attached, some don’t, some lose their senses when attracted, some keep their sense, nobody here knows but I think you said it exactly how it is he is touchy feely.
As for me, if I am talking to a guy who I know has a girlfriend, I keep my distance, it doesn’t matter how he is, I put a space between us, I am not comfortable with touchy feely with an attached guy, even if he were to come forward I would back off. You seem to have been leaning into him then questioning why he responded to you, but your behavior kind of invited him to do that. There have been times when I gave a guy a signal to come forward and he was attached, but when I realized it I backed off and no questions asked.
Gemini615
I think in general people can get overly flirty when dancing; it just happens. If it makes you uncomfortable then it’s as simple as removing yourself from the situation. I don’t really think it’s your place to try to figure out his behavior or to assess whether he is in the wrong or not for being too hands on with you; that’s his gf’s business. Men will always try to push boundaries.
Mistral
You’re getting “testy” responses because this is stuff most people learn in 2nd grade. The problem is that people have been so accustomed to having everything handed to them on a silver platter that they have forgotten to think for themselves and utilize their GOD GIVEN BRAINS.
You are just one example of a world gone mad. Trust me, this world needs to be tilted on its axis and set back straight. Stop looking outside yourself for answers that are really within your own self.
Use your brain and THINK for yourself. Do your own research and search for the answer yourself because you DO possess enough intelligence to google for your answers.
Steph
You raise a good point, Mistral. I’m only 23 but I’ve been pretty sheltered for most of my life so I’m finding out this stuff a bit later than most people.
Rose
Means he might like you but has a girlfriend.
No need to further analyze, move on to the next.
MsAqua
General rule:
Hand on back = polite/friendly
Hand on lower back/butt = flirty/sexual
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