What is a classy way to say "Get over yourself!"

Nothing says I’m over it like… silence.

Hi Guys! Thanks for your replies! Bedazzle I do admit that I was really confused about the financial situation thing. I posted on a men’s forum and their responses were right down the middle. Some said as you did but then others said it was BS and provided examples in their lives. That made me even more confused but that is the reason I still answered him when he texted me (bc I was not sure what to believe).

But then when he comes up with a list of things about why he couldn’t move forward with me (after a silly joke, which was very obvious it was a joke bc he jokes the exact same way) I became convinced that that list was the real reason as to why he didn’t want to move forward. btw, he came up with the reasons quickly with no hesitation, which leads me to believe he had been thinking these things for a while.

After he gave me that list I went no contact. 3 days later he texted me that he wish he said those things in another way and so harshly but he didn’t apologize for saying them or say that he didn’t mean it. SO I took it as true and the real reasons why he did not want to move forward. I said no worries I got the gist of what he meant wether he meant to say it in certain way or not. We didn’t talk for about 3 days.

Then he started texting and calling regularly. A few times he called to tell me I was drama and to move on lol even though I was NOT contacting him at all!! Who sounds like drama here? lol And now he’s calling and texting and even inviting himself over. However, no formal apology and no clue about what he’s thinking (and I would be called “drama” for asking). I feel like he just wants me to go with his flow and ask no questions. Not happening and this all has turned me off. This has been ver the span of 3 weeks.

Hey GeeGee,
What is this men’s forum you talk about? I’d love to get in on that and get their opinions too.

Hi guys,
it’s called askmen.com. There forums are actually pretty active all the time. So is this forum tho :)

GeeGee,

Well, I am on the fence here cause on one hand he did give a perhaps valid reason for not wanting to be in a relationship but then he also stated that the communication is a reason he couldn’t see himself in a relationshp with you (drama is relevant to communication style). That’s a divided answer. Both can be valid, but neither matter as he’s made it clear what he doesn’t want, which is a relationship.

Now, I have to say that this isn’t to say who is right, wrong, there isn’t a right or wrong, but I do think that your communication style could use some tweeking:

“Through some of those texts we would end up in little spats literally about nothing (for example me saying that I’m on my way to a bar that he likes and I hate, AS A JOKE).

Was this really meant to be a joke because what part is funny? I am not saying what you said is bad in any way, it’s not insulting or anything, but I also don’t consider it a joke. Take a look at your thoughts before texting this. When jokes are used to cover up insecurities, or even anger they become forms of passive aggression. If you are resentful that he isn’t with you and you are pointing out that you are going to a place he loves calling it a joke, it signals you aren’t communicationg very honestly. And the funny thing is that joke or not the guy will know.

Now, alternately, let’s say you really miss him and you wish he did want a relationship with you and was going to this bar he loves with you, then you could say “Ya know, I really miss you but I respect that you don’t want a relationship so please stop contacting me because I find it to be confusing and it’s best if we don’t talk. I wish you the best.”

Now if that is how you felt then you communicated drama free, openly and honestly, no fake jokes needed.

You may have to let this guy go, but I think it does give you the opportunity to think about your communication style when you are upset about something. I hope this makes some sense to you.

This was the joke
Him: Let’s party!! (He wrote this bc I told him I was over partying)
Me: I’m on my way to the bar right now. U wana go?
Him: r u serious?
Me: haha no I’m going to go meet my friend

Now ok if he thinks I’m drama. But stop contacting me and don’t get mad n further call me drama when I don’t answer him promptly like I did when we were dating. If he’s not into me that’s fine and I have him plenty of opportunity to simply say that. When he exploded on me I simply stopped talking to him after I said I take some responsibility and I know I’m not perfect but I’ll wish u the best.

Idk maybe that was drama but he’s done way worse than that to me and I never made a big deal. Everyone’s different I guess.

I go agree that his mind was probably made up early on, even though he would bring up marriage and kids often. But I heard guys can change their minds at the drop of a hat lol

I guess I’ll just stop responding. Idk

listen to LAgirl…this guy is an utter waste of your time. Do you want to waste your time? Do you have time to waste? Do you enjoy having someone mess around with your head? that’s what you should be asking yourself.

Go no contact! I am doing this right now with a total waste of time. Every time I get a text, I simply delete it. I do it without even thinking about it. It will become second nature and it will feel good! Get used to walking, get used to moving on from men that are not worth your time. You will be empowered. Then you will have room for a man that wants to treat you right, and he will because you wont put up with less.

Girl… No contact. Don’t respond. He’s nuts. Normal people don’t go around destroying other people. I feel you though, I just initiated no contact with my ex after a year of this kind of docking around with my heart. Though he was never said shitty things to me like this loser has said to you, his actions spoke volumes. “I love you” then when i got closer, “You’re too needy… I’m still confused about relationships…”
Oh, please… I no longer have time for that. I think as women we naturally have that caretaker instinct: the instinct to fix everything and to smooth everything out and put out fires. That being said, the way he is treating you is not acceptable. What is your gut telling you? Try sitting in a quiet place, no distractions at all, breathe and just listen. You will eventually hear your gut and it’s never wrong. My gut told me my guy was bad news from the jump and I didn’t listen. I would not change what I went through this past year though for anything. He was a great teacher and as Buddha said, “When the student is ready the teacher appears.” This dude who is messing with you is your teacher now. Will you continue to accept his shitty behavior or will you just let go and move on to something much better. It’s very hard, I know. I became like an addict with my guy… even as I write this, I want to reach out to him but I know that would be detrimental to my healing.
I also would suggest therapy when you are ready. I started a month ago and it has been life changing.
Just think of this guy or any other person or situation that has played itself out like an old meatloaf in the fridge… it’s way past it’s expiration date, it is covered in mold and it’s time to throw it out. But then we think, “Ugh… that’s so much work to take it out, soak the plastic container, then wash it… I’ll just leave it. Until one day it stinks up your entire fridge and you have to throw the loaf AND the container out and detox the fridge.
That’s where I’m at right now.
Get rid of him and just concentrate on getting back to YOU. Love yourself and be happy and content alone. Only when you value and truly love yourself will you attract and be attracted to someone who will value you as well.
You are better than this douche, trust me.

Ive been in a relationship for 1 1/2 years. We are older, we reconnected after 40 years. Anyway whenever I ask him about the future, he says ” baby I don’t know what I’m doing from one day to the next.” he calls and texts everyday like clock work. We live 90 miles apart and see each other every weekend. He takes me to all family and friend events. However he will not allow me to discuss a future. He has been married and divorced twice. (Red Flag I know) I am very attracted to him, but he doesn’t treat me as good as I would like. He has gotten angry when I wanted answers about our future. So I just stay away from the subject. Not being allowed to even have a discussion is making me crazy, am I wasting my time with this man?

Jill,

He prob is scared of future because of those other divorces, I wouldn’t worry or press on it too much. The future is important to know and talk about to know if you both have similar grounds and wants. However given his current 2 divorces It’s to be expected to not know anymore.