What is e-tethering?

Thanks Harley. I have a guy in my life who is just a friend who I flirt with but have never been intimate with. We met through our jobs as we exchanged emails daily. We live in separate states about 1000 miles apart. We communicated every day (all day, in fact) for six months before meeting in person at a work conference. A few years have passed and we still have this relationship where we text, email, instant message and call each other on a daily basis. We have even met up for vacations or visited each other across the country in our respective states. He’s never come and gone out of my life before. He’s always been there every day. But, he does say things like “I miss you” and “I love you.” Is this e-tethering? Or is it a long distance relationship? Or are we just friends? I have no idea what we’re doing!

We are not sleeping together. I’m a virgin and he knows that. He knows I don’t want my first sexual experience to be a casual one. I’d like my first time to be with someone I’m in a relationship with. We have not dated anyone else during this time. When I first met him, he was dating someone. It lasted for 6 months then he broke up with her and has been single ever since. He never talks to me about other GFs, so I assume he isn’t seeing anyone, but I’m not sure. He’s never talked about a relationship and neither have I. I am at a stage in my life where a relationship wasn’t really what I was looking for, but I’m not against it either. But in the last few years that this “thing” has been going on, I’ve started liking him and feel that I would want a relationship with him. It just makes it hard since we live in different states. So I guess I should just ask him and see where this is going?

Hi Harley,

I asked him! He said he really cares about me, but doesn’t want to do long distance. He’d tried that before and it was horrible. He got cheated on twice and ended up feeling like a fool. Obviously, I would never cheat on him, but I have to respect his wishes. He said he still wants to be friends and has continued texting me as if our conversation never happened. Is this normal? I thought he might want some time away from me since we had a pretty deep conversation.

WEll.. better you know now, even tough it suck. is texting you NOW.. is his nice way of letting you know he still thinks a lot of you. OF COURSE things have changed slightly now.. expect the texting to slow down over the next while.

I think you will both have to put effort in, to keep this friendship the same. It is possible. YOU both may start to feel like NOT texting but this is where you both have to go the extra distance and out more of an effort in, until it is back to near what it once was.

Tell him you are sooo glad he is texting, you are happy things are now out in the open, you both know where you stand and this friendship will survive this wee blip. ou admire and appreciate him and would hate to lose this friendship.

I think… YOU KNOW NOW though.. you can move on to exploring dating other guys… in your own time. Just don’t tell him about them as it may hurt his feelings.