What is my next step?

This is tricky. Six weeks of dating is very early on– you don’t know this guy yet. And the holidays can be an emotionally loaded time for people.

How long has he been divorced? (you mention he has kids so I assume he’s divorced). Do you know much about his relationship with his family, or with his ex wife? If he has family issues, or issues with his ex, they will come to full force over the holidays, and you two haven’t been dating long enough for him to really open up about that kind of thing.

And yes, he’s feeling sick, and some people aren’t very communicative when they’re sick. But from what you’re saying, his change in communication style started before he began feeling unwell.

I hate to say it, but in the early days of dating, guys can change their minds quickly, especially if things are intense (you have a strong connection and spend a lot of time together). Things can be going great, then they realize that they aren’t in the headspace for a relationship, or they’re not over their ex, whatever. It really takes 3-4 months of solid dating to really know a guy’s intentions. As women we tend to make excuses when a guy starts to fade– he’s busy with his kids, he’s sick, etc– but the bottom line is, a man who wants to pursue you does that. He pursues. He makes it clear he’s interested.

You shouldn’t have to chase this guy down to give him his holiday gift. I don’t know what your last communication was like (who initiated, or how it ended). I’d leave him alone for a bit, and if you don’t hear from him for a couple of days, send him a light text asking how he’s feeling. I wouldn’t pressure him about exchanging gifts. You shouldn’t *have* to pressure a guy to see you! And don’t ask any heavy questions about what’s on his mind– texting is not the format for heavy conversations. If he’s acting weird and pulling back, then mirror him and pull back too. Don’t chase.

He told me previously that he had already bought something. And he knows I’ve purchased something as well.

Thanks for the additional info. Things still seem “off” to me. It doesn’t sound like he’s eager to see you (even being sick, he should want to see you).

When I started dating my bf, about 6-8 weeks into dating, I went away for a long weekend to visit relatives who live in another state. Mind you, I was only gone 5 days. While I was away, he texted me a lot, and told me that he missed me. He wasn’t sick, so it’s not the same thing, but my point is– when he was unable to see me, he made it clear that he *wanted* to. I would think a guy who’s into you at this point in dating would be expressing a desire to see you if he’s in a situation where he can’t (like illness or travel).

That’s what seems off about this situation to me. He’s joking about being lazy and sick, but not saying he can’t wait to see you again. You’re communicating, but only 1-2 messages a day, and you usually have to initiate.

Given the further info you’ve provided, I’d pull back. If you don’t hear from him in a day or two, you could text to ask how he is. But honestly it sounds to me like this guy is fading out. If he is, let him. If he isn’t, then he will come back and step up big time once he’s feeling better.

You posted about this before? Doesn’t he have covid? He can’t see you until after his quarantine period is over, and probably doesn’t want to make plans until he knows he’s negative and is feeling better. Plus, agree with above that holidays may be tough or confusing for some.

Lean back, mirror him, and hold tight. While the signs don’t bode well, they are just signs and you are currently reading tea leaves and assuming the worst. I don’t recommend making excuses, but there are actually a couple reasonable other explanations here. Give it another week to see how he follows up after he’s feeling better and the holidays are over. After only 6 weeks you should still be open to other options and not putting all your eggs in one basket whom you don’t know well yet. Keep observing and deciding if you like what you see and if he’s consistent. Again, this may not be going in the direction that you hoped, but I think all bets are off when he’s sick with symptomatic covid (or sick with anything else that keeps him in bed for a week) and you’ll need to wait out his recovery to find out for sure about his interest level. Try to find other things to do and not dwell on him and speculating about his feelings in the meantime.

Ahhhhhh, sorry then. I could have sworn I read something extremely similar and the guy has covid, and he was still checking in a bit but a lot shorter than normal and hadn’t wished a Merry Christmas. Though my advice to mirror him and see what he does over the next week still stands :)

Has he given you any reason to pause prior to getting sick, any inconsistency? I also agree with the advice above that sometimes things flip between about 6 and 12 weeks and a committed relationship doesn’t end up developing. So it’s important to observe and see that things are to your liking and compatible before investing very early.

The more I think about it, the more inconsistencies I recall. Funny how you’re so blind so someone’s flaws right off the bat, but a couple days of a breather opens your eyes.
I’ll check in with him today, because I’m genuinely concerned for how he’s feeling, see where that goes, and then leave it be and see what happens after the holidays/he feels better.
I can always return the presents.

years. The reason why I went on this date is because over the past 7 months we have been talking, and I have been entertaining him , unlike in the past. Make a long story short I finally gave in went on the date with him. For our date we went on a walk to look at some Christmas lights…. Don’t worry this was my idea !! He seen me gave me a hug , we started walking around got tired so we sat on the bench. He started checking me out told me to come closer and we cuddled. He also was rubbing my legs and touching my face. He stated to me that I looked very comfortable with him ? I fixed my purse and when I look up he staring into my soul ! Like a deep blank stare….. I asked him what ? Then he asked me if get a lot of compliments? Which I don’t know why he asked me that ?
Then All of a sudden he ends the date early says he has to go. Never heard from him again ?

I new here and I’m not sure how to post my on thread .

@Emily, he’s a dud!

I’m sorry it turned out this way. It may not feel it now, but 6 weeks is a short amount of time to see into someone’s true colors so at least you got out early. Feel better and get well soon!!!

Thanks everyone for your insights :)
Helps to have a place to get outside opinions!