Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › What should I do after my boyfriend only said ”Happy birthday” and that’s it?
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Raven.
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raquellexx
You know how a significant part of birthday joy is your close people cherishing and making you happy, by showing you how important you are to them? My boyfriend has always claimed how much he loves me and how he wanna spend his lifetime with me. We are in a long distance relationship and I have made lots of sacrifices neglecting my time and pride so far and he still does things even though I have asked him tons of times not to.
But on my birthday, everything escalated. When my special day came, I never expected gifts or material stuff from him (although I have sent him presents) but at least expected wishes showing his love and making me special on my special day. In return, while most people EVEN STRANGERS wished me tons of things, my boyfriend who ”wants to spend his life with me” only told me ”Happy birthday” and absolutely nothing more.. which made me feel awful because he is one of the most important people of my life and at least, I was expecting him to wish me something, say that he loves me and stuff.. and not just ”Happy birthday” as if we are strangers. And we haven’t had any fights or something… I asked him if something is wrong and he said no.. even I have sent him present in the future just out of nothing while now, he only said ”Happy birthday” and not a single wish, care, and love… When I shared this with him he was so surprised acting like ”2 more words mean nothing” making me feel as if it’s my fault that I’m petty an eventually acted like it’s my fault saying things like ”Sorry for not making you happy on your b-day” but he didn’t mean them it was kinda sarcastic as if he was mad AT ME?! And when I told him that I am sad then eventually wished me a goodnight and almost hung up… I really can’t believe how he made me feel on my day after it was his fault…he ruined my special day plus made me feel petty and needy. Please give me your advice do you think I’m right to feel awful and sad because of what he did? Even if I barely trust men, I did trust him because I thought he was different and all that he has told me about how much he loves me and want to spend his life with me.. I thought he was a good guy respecting me and now it looks like I am not important to him and he doesn’t care.. Should I finally leave him after this situation and then the lack of understanding plus his behaviour because I know that he won’t reach out to me until I do not to mention say sorry and even text me until I do it?ANM StaffKeymasterHi Raquellex! My apologies – your post got caught in our spam filter. (It didn’t like the “x x x” at the end of your name. :) ) I’ve gone ahead and edited your name so that it allows the post to appear for everyone. I hope that you see the post is published now, and hopefully our community has some insight for you. Best wishes!
Newbie
You want to break up because he only said happy birthday? Look if you want to feel aweful go ahead and sulk. But this is so not a big deal. You simply have different opinions on birthdays. They are not that special to everyone. You were born. Thats it. Have a party. But its all really up to you. If you want to celebrate it more tell him that.
You do seem to overinvest though here, sending him presents. If he doesnt then dont. Mirror the guy. That gives you a better view on his interest level and prevents you from overinvestingDyanne
He didn’t ruin your day, you allowed him to ruin it. Why do you allow him to treat you this way? And I’m not talking about saying happy birthday, that was just the trigger. Why do you go out of your way to do things for a guy who says he loves you but doesn’t acknowledge your needs? You already know he won’t contact you unless you do it… Why are you so hung up on this guy?
You say you’re long distance. Have you ever met? How long have you been together? Is there a plan to close the gap?Lane
OMG, Why are you so dramatic! Seriously, it just a day that tells people when you were born, big whoop! The only people that matter are the one’s that were there, all the others really don’t give a hoot.
That’s all I did for mine the other day actually, who is also long distance, and he didn’t throw a tantrum over it.
Listen, not everyone is big on Birthday’s, and I happen to be one of them. Its OK because that’s who we are, and just because you are different doesn’t mean a partner has to be like you. My BF happens to be one of those BD people, and I have no qualm with it because I allow him to be the person he is. He knows I’m not, and he allows me to be me, which is why we have such an awesome relationship because we *respect* and *accept* our differences. You should try to learn those values.
Paige
I’ve been married since August 1976 and all my husband and I have EVER said to each other on our birthdays (even when we were just living together) is “Happy birthday.”
I’ve seen several posts that wrap birthdays up with “other wishes” and I don’t understand them.
It might be a cultural difference, but I don’t think he did anything wrong – and if you’re going to look that hard for something to b*tch about, you need to do him a favor, break up with him and then get some therapy (or grow up) before you try to insert yourself into anyone else’s life again.
Raven
He didn’t ruin your day, You did…
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