What should you do if you know that your crush has rejected you due to looks?

I can feel how much this has hurt you. People get to choose who they do and don’t go further with in relationships though and that includes If they are attracted to a person in the first place.

I’m more interested in what you will do to realise you don’t want a man who doesn’t feel attracted to you. There are many many in the world you wouldn’t find attractive- how would you want them to feel or be affected by the fact they aren’t for you? Work on themselves in a hope they would become a bit more attractive to you? Or realise it simply isn’t meant to be. This simply isn’t meant to be. I would suggest you concentrate on finding a partner where it’s mutual thing

You say he’s shallow, yet you want to revolve your life around making the same person regret not pursuing you? I can understand the urge. It’s human. Unrequited attraction stings but it’s a part of life. If you really want to build up your self esteem and maturity, forget about him.

I recently didn’t pursue a mutual crush because of her personality. I’m serious. I don’t do hookups as much as my “buddy” would love them. She was a good balance of beautiful and sexy. Ideal body type for me, though she wished to lose weight herself. But I spent enough time around her to figure that her traits, habits were dealbreakers. She was frustrated, confused, and partly even spurred on by why I didnt reciprocate her advances. She said the same things too when I explained to her that I wasn’t interested: give it a chance, you don’t know until we go on a date, you can call me if you want etc. But I’d made up my mind. And I don’t do pseudo-friendships

7 billion people in the world. At least a billion women wouldn’t give me a chance either no matter what I did. Tis life

If he’s shallow then you’re being sucked into the same mindset by trying to make him regret. Rise above it and move on. If this made you start to exercise more, that’s great. But now transition to healthier reasons to lose weight.

This is not shallow, its a simple case of not being attracted in the way THEY need to be attracted to someone in order to fall in love. All humans see the world differently, where one might see a piece of art and love it and another won’t; some love the color red and other’s don’t; some love a sports car and other’s prefer an SUV. It doesn’t make them shallow—what appeals to one won’t appeal to everyone and that’s what makes every human unique and different from another.

This has more to do with your ego being hurt than him being shallow. He can’t help being attracted to a certain type of lady as its something he developed during his childhood where he saw a young girl, lady or picture of one (T, magazine, etc.) and became instantly attracted to her. That moment was imprinted into his psyche to the point when see’s a female who has them his interest barometer immediately spikes to the point he’s drawn to her like a moth is to a flame. Its not something he can help, its something he’s drawn to and if you don’t have them then he is unable to be attracted in the way *he needs to be attracted* [key words] to take it further than a friendship.

Like they say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and its their eyes that count, not what someone else believes, thinks or feels they should see or view the world only because they see or view it differently. In this case, its his eyes that matter, not yours.

I understand what you’re saying and that you’re hurt right now. You think if this guy got to know you first beyond just the physical you could build a relationship with him. The problem is sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t. I dated a guy after my divorce who I wasn’t physically attracted to but I had known him in high school (which was a long time ago for me), he was the nicest sweetest guy and on paper he had it all. Great career, owned his own home, owned his own vehicle, didn’t have any debt, had a wonderful loving family who adored me, no ex wife, no kids, no baggage at all. And it’s not that he wasn’t attractive. He was tall and good looking and in shape. He just wasn’t the type of guy I was attracted to. I REALLY tried to make it work. But after a few months he was falling in love with me and I really didn’t want him kissing me or have any desire to be intimate. I had to end it. But when I went on the first date with my husband OMG! The sparks flew, there was instant attraction and our waiter thought we had been dating for months! He couldn’t believe it was our first date and a blind date at that!! When it’s there, it’s just there. You really can’t explain it.

Thank you Chester, and you also do a good job of providing a *male* perspective which can be lacking when it comes to the differences between how men and women that can be very helpful when dealing with male traits and attributes that a lot of women either don’t understand or need that ‘ah ha’ (light bulb) moment. I loved your post on ED. I’ve never had to personally deal with it thus far but in the event I do I now have a better understand on how men *think* on this subject and how best to approach it in that event—like they say “knowledge is power!”