What to do if he's doing the slow fade, call him out on it?

Amy s
Thank you for your reply, yes your right I know I need to leave him be, no pressure ect…you know when you just have that feeling in your gut, and I’m always right when I get that feeling, so it hard, I’d rather him just vanish than him giving me bread crumbs, but I know I still could be wrong so don’t want to just cut it off x

Best advice would be not to say anything like that or draw attention to what he’s doing. I’d say give him space and try and keep any conversation you have casual and fun so he knows he’ll get a good reaction from you when you do actually talk, however brief it might be. The fact he’s still messaging at all is a good sign and as frustrating as it is to not know where you stand properly, asking him what’s wrong and if he’s pulling away from you might just make him do exactly what you fear :/ It’s a cliche but I always say if it’s meant to be it just will be so the best thing you can do is carry on with your life, make plans as normal and let him come to you :)

You don’t know what’s going on. Don’t bust him for something he hasn’t done.

Back off. Get busy on your own. As Lane will say, the best gift a woman can give a man is space.
DO NOT send the text you typed. I get it, we all want an answer NOW and want to be the dumper as to the dumpee, but you are just adding more stress and he may just want to bolt.

Hi.

Need to slow down here. The moment the man feels pressured or loses interest is when he pulls away, and that’s your que to pull away too regardless of how much you like him. Not everyone feels the same way and you need to go into dating with the attitude that no every guy who dates you will turn into something. He’s still feeling you out and most likely testing you where you start pushing that’s a surefire way to end it.

Calm down, its not a race but a journey and if the both of you reach that destination, great, if not then it was never meant to be. Sometimes you have to date 100 toads to find that prince so sit tight and be patient…the right guy will find you :-)

Hi Laura,

Just leave it and him alone. There’s no need to bring it up to him, or eve call him out on it. Nothing postive will become of that anyways. The two of you are just simply going on dates, you’re not in a relationship with each other, he technically has no obligations towards you, nor do you towards him. So just carry on as you did before he came into the picture. Lane is absolutely correct, the moment you put any sort of pressure on his, even the slightest, he will run even faster and like she said, what’s the rush anyways? Women these days, regardless of age, seem to be in such a huge rush to push their relationship further along than they naturally should be. Just enjoy the ride, take in all the moments you have together and see where it goes. If it doesn’t, that’s fine! beacuse you’ll have a new journey to look forward to!

he is trying to test you to see if you are one of those whackjobs without life who demand 24hour attention and are unable to give a guy space. Don’t panic, please dont fall into the temptation of sending that dramatic text you’ve been thinking about.
If he’s doing the fade out you will know soon

Up until that last date we agreed to do the friendly dating, nothing serious because there’s a 10 year age gap, I was happy with that and I have never said anything otherwise, but the last date he asked me what did I want for him, I said I’m not sure because where doing this friendship dating thing and I don’t know where we both stand, so he said I think we can be amazing friends but I want more than that, and I fancy you like crazy! So friends isn’t an option, so what does this mean for us do we stay friends and strictly keep it as that or do we do more? So I said well why don’t we do official dates instead of us calling them casual dates and just see where it goes…he said yes I’d like that, glad you said that Iv already planned our next date it’s a secret your going to love it….so that’s why I’m feeling a bit crazy, because I was fine with how casual it was and friends and whatever and he’s the one that pushed for more, I agreed and now he’s fading. I don’t understand it. It’s unfair to do that, he changed the situation!

HI Laura.

Just hang tight. Not everyone likes to text where I’m one of those who HATES IT and have a tendency to not rely right away because I know if it does it will elicit a texting exchange that I’m not in the mood to engage in that moment. I’m also really good at ending them quickly which is what you should do as texting is the TOP TWO reasons dating/relationships don’t get off the ground because its relied on too much. The bulk of communication should always be IN PERSON because men don’t bond/connect through texting so its a waste of your precious time and energy to engage in it with a man.

I would not have responded the way you did because texting obviously is causing you far too much anxiety so common sense would dictate you move away from that which stresses you out so much. I would have responded with “glad you made it home safe…all good here :-)”

One should text with CONFIDENCE and not use it for validation nor or make them feel secure. The world won’t end if he doesn’t text back and shouldn’t expect a man to be at your beck and call which texting does. Relax…if its meant to be it will happen, if not there’s a better guy out there for you :-)

Hey ladies! Thank you for your advice it made me feel a lot better and stoped me bing over dramatic!

So I have heard for him….every day I get a mesage, initiated by him, like a hope your ok, or I’m at work doing this, but when I reply lightly and nice and short but carrying on the convo he just dosnt message back, so I just think he’s not interested, but why is he still sending me a short pointless message once a day? It makes no sense to me, he’s not asked to see me agen ether and the way the convo is going he’s not going to, so why message me if he’s not interested just stop contact, I’d like to see this guy agen so what do I do, next time he messages if he does then do I just not bother, give him some time to lul it over if he’s Evan botherd, I just feel the advice on the when he does message be happy and receptive is just puting me into the I can message her whenever and she’ll be there, I’m a wrong? What do I do?

The fact that he sends you a message surely means he is thinking of you. But messaging back and forth is often annoying and if one is working or doing anything really, is unsustainable. Lean back and wait for him to come up with plans to see you. I am sure he will reach out with a concrete idea, but for now focus on your life and comings and goings and make plans for yourself without wondering about him, his plans or whereabouts.

You’re not doing what Lane advised. He’s not asking questions to keep the conversation going. Only says hope you’re ok. He doesn’t want to engage in a lengthy text exchange. Respond the same “I’m doing well. Thanks.” But if he’s sending the same redundant crap every day then stop responding or take longer to respond. Set a deadline and if he doesn’t call or ask you out by then. Cut him off.