Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › What to do with this player?
- This topic has 18 replies and was last updated 9 years, 8 months ago by
Mistral.
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Stephanie
Will the 30 day no contact rule work on a player? He always texts many girls, but he said that he likes me, however he never asked me out for a date. Now I’m at day 7 and he texted me 3 times since. I didn’t answer him ofc. So will this work on him?
kimf
Is this Stephanie…Stephanie? Because the headline says it all…what do you do with players….stay away! ;)
kimf
Ignoring a player will get his competitive juices going. It will make him pursue you because you will be the challenge..his white whale. He might not think anything of you, he might not like you at all..but if you ignore him, he may quite possible pursue you until you give. Then he goes. And then you are a victim of the chase.
Ivy
“Will the 30 day no contact rule work on a player?”
What do you mean work?
Do you mean will it make him fall in love with you and leave his player ways in the past, to fall in love, never cheat and dedicate his entire existance to you, commit in one week, be exclusive, never cheat?
Games don’t make men fall in love and games don’t turn players into commitment ready men either.
The 30 day no contact rule is for the woman to forget about a man that isn’t the right man for her. A man that doesn’t want a relationshp or isn’t treating her right. A woman uses the 30 day no contact to get hear heart untwined from a man.
Even if it did work to temporarily lure him to you then it probably woudlnt’ last, if you need to play a game to get a man, he isn’t the right man for you.
And why would you even want a player, they don’t make the best boyfriends. Even if they do commit to you they often cheat. The biggest player guys I know, even the ones that fall for a girl, they keep the girl and they cheat on the girl. I don’t know a single monogomous non-cheating player. Mind you, you didn’t say former player, you said player.
Rose
Why do you want a player? … It might work but you won’t make him change and stop being who he is.
Khadija
Hello Stephanie,
In your case it probably will not work and here’s why:
1. No contact is designed to get healing and perpsective AFTER a break up.
2. He’s hasn’t even asked you out on a date so,going no contact won’t do anything for the situation.
3. He’s a player so you say, meaning he can just call up someone else in you absence
4. No contact is not designed to get a man back through manipulation and games.If he’s not asking you out then it’s his loss. Also,I’m sure you can do better than wasting your time on a player.
redcurleysue
I know this man who is very highly successful in business…one of the sharpest minds I have seen but he is a player. He keeps getting married and cheating…it is soooo weird since his brain works so well in business but his personal life is such a mess.
Players stay players I think because they have deep issues.
Stephanie
Thank you for your answers!! You helped me a lot! I’m just gonna let him go, eventhough it’s gonna be hard, because I have strong feeling for him.
Happy Easter!! :)
kimf
Exactly Ivy…no contact works so well. It gives the space and clear sight to see a situation for what it is. Its tough but a great tool. I missed that..all I saw was her throwing up a red rag to a bull haha
Stefanie
Not me, Kim… I’m Stefanie with an F.
Rose
Oh I know one too Red, I think their issues are all about inflated egos and low self-esteem. They can be so successful in life but that’s never enough so they have to keep their romantic life like a game. They cheat because they can (said it himself) … They are never happy and always try to outsmart everyone and don’t care if feelings get hurt, they gotta do what they gotta do. It’s kind of like showing the world they are awesome at playing games because they even keep souvenirs from their lovers. Maybe It’s like gambling.
Phillygirl
Rose and Red,
Many highly successful businessmen cheat because they are drawn to high risk situations. Same thing with Pro-Athletes, Politicians, Entertainers….
Not all, mind you. But a certain kind of man who craves power can’t “get his rocks off” (so to speak) unless there is a high degree of risk involved.
There have been numerous studies done on it. And yes-they are also usually attracted to other high risk behaviors(extreme sports, gambling, etc).
I avoid these kinds of men like the plague
whiskeyagogo
Date a man you don’t have to play these kind of games with.
Stephanie
UPDATE: He texted me 3 times, and now he said that he hates me. Does he really mean it or he is just angry because I don’t reply to him?
patsytshirt
<<UPDATE: He texted me 3 times, and now he said that he hates me. Does he really mean it or he is just angry because I don’t reply to him?>>
hahah, it’s working! :D keep no contact!! he is like a toddler who wants attention.
google “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”.
nah, he doesn’t hate you, he is just projecting on how he feels about the no contact situation.
I hate you = I hate the situation
I hate you = I hope this hurts you so you can feel how I feel
keep no contact and stay away from players!!!Stephanie
Thank you!! I am happy that it works :D
CiCi
Stefanie,
I’m happy that you’re happy but you obviously weren’t listening to the ladies when they explained what the no contact rule is about. I feel that you gettingthat happy that he’s getting upset means that you still care and you still wana “win” meaning you still want his attention. He’s not worth it sweetie. :)
Best of luck to you!!Dundundun
Why would you even want to be with a player in the first place? Also, if he hasn’t asked you out on dates, at least in my point of view at 24, I would have to say he isn’t interested in dating you. It just sounds a hot mess to be honest.
Mistral
Players fall in love only with other players. “Normal” as in nice and not a bitch, no risky behavior involved won’t cut it for a player.
So, unless you’ve been a player yourself in the past, I’d say run like hell from a player.
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