What to expect when dating a resident?

This is a loaded question. As you know he is very busy. If he does contact you again give him three different dates you are free and ask him to pick one in the next couple of days so you can make plans on the ones he does not pick for other things.

Make allowances and he will appreciate it I am sure. I am not saying be a doormat…but totally understand he is busy.

Sorry I just realized, what do you mean by make allowances?

It’s been 4 days and no contact :/ idk if I should just let him go or not-I want a once a week minimum.

Have you even been so busy that you barely had time to eat? And not to sit down and eat in comfort but grab something on the go?

This guy might be that busy!

At the same time when a man is interested he finds time. At the beginning especially. Which can then change radically, once he thinks he got you. So be careful and decide if this is what you want. Even if he starts showing you interest. LOL

Your not confident r independent enough to date a resident. Unless your as busy he is you’ll go nutso waiting and waiting for him to have some time. They are literally living in the hospital with very little down time, usually is enough to eat, shower and sleep before thy hav to do another 24 to 48 hour shift.

I would not wait around but continue to meet and date guys who have the TIME to actually date.

Oh and what Emma said too-

What I mean by make allowances is to understand he does not have a regular job…his time is not free since he gives much of his life to his patients.

And women who marry doctors have to make allowances for the fact their spouse may not be with them for parties, holidays, etc. Much of their time is spent alone and they do a lot of the child rearing. This is not for everyone, for sure.

If you get with an engineer they mostly have a day job…if you get with a doctor they have crazy hours and are on call. A woman has to know this upfront and deal.

Now, if he has gone radio silent that would not be acceptable either…he could text or call you more often.

The only one that should stand out is the one who’s putting in a lot of energy and time to woo you over and then YOU choose the best one out of the bunch that truly wants to be with you.

You need to be THE PRIZE! The prize doesn’t compete, the prize sits on her pedestal carefully watching all the contenders vie for her attention. If one, two or three drops out she doesn’t chase them, she continues to watch the one’s who are trying to capture her heart because you’ve captured his.

There’s something about being ‘hard to get’ without even trying to do so! Your just living your life, meeting and dating men without any goal or objective until enough time has passed getting to know him well enough to even consider him as a good candidate. All my long-term relationships were when I had zero romantic feelings for them but over-time (several months) they grew on me and decided to give him a shot (became a couple).

The one’s that were created by instant chemistry/attraction or I didn’t take the time to get to know well enough first fizzled out fast. People are on their ‘good behavior’ in the beginning but it tells you nothing about how the person actually conducts themselves in real life, day to day, and that takes TIME to explore—dating really is about the JOURNEY, not the destination!

Now I can’t stop thinking about this :/ sorry I know I’m probabaly being annoying, it’s just frustrating to not know where you stand. I don’t know how important this is, but I don’t want a long-term relationship. Just short-term dating but I still want to have fun. So I shouldn’t say anything to him right?

Thank you! I really appreciate that.

So I know many here say if there’s no contact for a week, he’s not interested. Does that apply here too? I just don’t know where the line is.

I’ve dated people in other high pressure jobs, and while I couldn’t see them much, I’d still get a tiny bit of texting every few days. I’m not getting anything here it seems like

Hi,
I have a really good friend, not a boyfriend, but we are important one another. He has a really high pressured job, it’s not the same as being a resident, but a lifetime of working at his level is pretty tiring. On top of this, right now he has a lot of personal stuff to deal with – finding a new flat, seeing his grown up children weekends, dealing with his divorce and selling his business. A lot on.
But he finds time for me, and I know he does for other friends, because he cares enough to do so. He lives a long way from me, but we meet about once a month.
He’ll send me a text when he’s on the commute train to work or back again. I got one this morning, “I can see the sun! Woo-hoo!” (It’s been a dull, dull winter here) He’ll phone me every week at least once, even if we have to use text to schedule an appointment for the call (I’m busy too). And if we say, “This evening’s good/tomorrow’s good” or whatever, he’ll text first to say, “Have you eaten yet? Is now good?” So, however busy he is, he’s considerate about my schedule too.
So what I am saying is that I think if a friend can find the time, a boyfriend certainly should not let a week go by with no contact, however busy he is! Hell, he could text while he’s on the loo if it’s important to him! The man you write of managed a daily text at first, now he can’t find the time. Maybe he’ll be a great catch when the residency is over, maybe he realises all you want is short term and knows he can’t be that kind of date right now? So as you say all you want is short term fun right now why not concentrate on the other guy who’s got the time and energy for it!

Thank you!! I’m unsure of how the other guys feel as of yet, but so far so good. I just can’t be with too many dates at one time

Before posting here I was thinking a week max too. I mean, I just want one text to know he’s still interested lol.

Honestly I think I can consider it about a week by now right? Is there a way to find out? Kind of just want to ask him…

He knows I’m only looking for short term-it’s because I’ll have to move later this year for my job- I told him before we even met. He kind of seemed to want an actual relationship though, not positive though.

But this whole 180 is what led me here. He asked me on two dates, nothing has changed on my end from the last one. Idk what happened

Thank you so much! I agree- I was surprised he even asked me out in the first place considering that I am moving. When he asked me what I was looking for, I told him exactly what I wanted and my situation. He still continued after. I guess he could have changed his or met someone else.