Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › What will happen?
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Sandra
Hey guys, I met someone back in June 12 last month. A friend introduced us and she made me follow him. She wanted me to move on from someone else at that time so she thought this guy I just met would be a better fit. We were talking for a week till he asked if we could get coffee to meet. We ended up changing it to dinner and it being a date. After the date, we decided we wanted to hangout a bit more at my place. We smoked a bit and started watching a tv show. One thing led to another and we ended the night having slept together. A week later, he was telling me that he wants to be friends because he thinks its moving too fast. He told me he wants to really get to know someone first as a friend before aggressively dating them. I did mention that you can get to know someone by dating them but it seems like he’s afraid of commitment. We made another plan to workout together since we have mutual friends and another of us going out with friends. However, we have made other plans that didn’t push through. When I noticed it didn’t push through I would get anxiety because it felt like I was being rejected. I would watch an instagram story of him doing the plan with 2 other girls. It made me feel insecure and I started stalking these girls which I never do. I’m usually super relaxed with guys having friendships with other girls. Anyways, we kept talking everyday since we met. I talked to friends about the situation and they told me I need to stop talking to him. I tried to stop for a day but he would send me messages on IG and Telegram. I kind of didn’t have self control, I felt the need to reply. We talked and I started feeling guilty that I messaged him and I’m feeling all this. The next day, I had to tell him that we need to stop talking because it’s getting too much for me. I currently have him on block on both ig and telegram. I’m trying to figure out what to do with him because I like talking to him and he has told me that he likes talking to me too. We also have mutual friends and can go to the same places.
Raven
He just wants sex.
Maddie
If you’re looking for a relationship, trying to force something with a guy who was instantly full of drama and has made you feel anxious that quickly is a waste of your time and energy. If your gut is telling you he’s afraid of commitment, trust your gut and trust yourself. Stay no contact, because getting involved with someone who wants sex when you want to build something more with someone just keeps being messy and never gets better. It’s worth waiting to find someone who wants the same type of relationship that you do, and not jumping into bed right away if you’re not looking for casual. Fair or not, it’s hard for a lot of guys to take women seriously if they sleep together quickly. You get put in the sex bucket instead of the potential girlfriend bucket. (But if the guy is a commitment phobe, it doesn’t matter what you do, he’s never going to get serious enough period because it’s about him not you!)
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