What's his deal?

He was propositioning you to hook up one night. He was probably hoping you’d say something sexier or more last minute that let him out of taking you on a real date. Are you looking for a date and potential relationship with him or just casual? Because he sounds like he’s more interested in something physical. Don’t “play along” unless you’re both looking for the same thing.

He’s listed you as a booty call… His text to you, “if some night you’re in the mood (for sex) dont be shy…”

Is that what you’re looking for?

That’s fine then, but it’s also the nature of booty calls. They’re not a high priority for anyone and only work if you’re both free. Either he’ll get back to you last minute if he is available Sunday or you’ll hear from him again once he is ready. Don’t wait around for him, keep yourself otherwise occupied.

Yeah I’ve got options and I’m chatting with few guys at the same time. He just suggested hook up and I reciprocated. Wasn’t it what he wanted? That’s what I thought.

When it comes to hookups,if a person is being vague or seems evasive just count them out…
You shouldn’t care what he does or doesn’t say or do, let him sort himself out and just find someone else who is available. Maybe he’s no longer interested, he’s working out his schedule so he can fit you in or he’s also talking to someone else just like you’re talking to other guys.

i don’t think u should respond even if he gets in touch for a hookup on sunday as suggested by you. Just because your ok for casual sex doesn’t give him license to act this way. he could have easily agreed/confirmed for Sunday. he asked you to suggest a day. u did. if that day didn’t suit him he could have told you to suggest another day. but he didn’t. even as a hookup, he is keeping you as a backup! come on girl. am sure you can do better for yourself than this man. find some other hookup.

I don’t mean to sound harsh – but what do you expect when you lead with casual and immediate sexual availability? I won’t slut shame as you should do as makes you happy – but to expect anything other than casual behavior from casual interactions is silly. If he is not suitable, then walk away, but this is a lot of mental energy from something that was never set up as something someone needs to earn or show up for with careful consideration. And if you really did not like him, why did you reach out again?

This language you are using, I do understand the essence but humans value what they have to work for, not men specifically. I’d value him more as well if he showed some effort. I do like him as much as being infatuated goes. I tried it one more time, he doesn’t seem to reciprocate so I’ll let it be. I didn’t sweat myself either, sending some low investment messages and a nude doesn’t make it something bigger than what it is, a hook up. Sociologically I was looking to make sense out of this cause it seems odd as a hook up experience. Most guys I’ve been casually seeing tend to put some extra effort in coming clean and setting a schedule even last minute. I am aware the price to pay for casual so I should just lower my expectations while lowering my standards.

what i wonder is why would you even want to sleep with a man who is unhygienic ??? and when you have options?

Good question, he reminds me of a friend of mine (male friend we used to hang out but was platonic) which I’m no longer in touch with but we used to drink and smoke together and so I felt comfortable hanging out with him. I know it sounds stupid but I have a feeling of being somewhere familiar and at ease but that’s maybe cause he’s also extroverted and easygoing. Well, maybe it’s best to not f*** and hang out as friends, so instead of hook up buddies to stay just buddies.

Well the other guys bathe and clean up because it’s generally who they are as hygienic human beings, it kinda has nothing to do with impressing you..

It’s not like any of them are putting any effort in anything. Coming through for a hookup is hardly called effort, neither is texting especially when they get something out of it. Didn’t you say the other replies after days, yeah well that’s not effort.

Maybe you should set the bar high for your hookups and be picky about the kind of guys you hook up with. This will of course leave you with a few options because it’s anti F*ck Boy and Fboys run at the first sign of standards lol. But it will leave you satisfied..

Hookups don’t always have to be trashy

I find that most women end up settling for hookups because that’s what is on the menu with most guys they talk to and seemingly connect with.

Guys don’t really treat hookups the same way women do. If you’re not in between the sheets and if what you’re doing doesn’t lead to going between the sheets, then you’re out of their mind.

Women tend to want a casual arrangement but with an emotional connection, a certain level of intimacy and a bit of companionship.

Someone they can see on the regular but are not too attached to.

The only way you get that is to be with a guy who doesn’t want something serious from the get go but is willing to get to know you as a person and find out if you’re compatible i.e the true definition of dating.

It’s doable when you meet people the organic way, but online it’s difficult. It’s either you’re down to f*ck or you’re on potential girlfriend trial run, with soo many options out there, the girlfriend trial run always ends with most women left on the wayside as the guy chases the next best thing.

It’s hard to find someone who wants to see something through when they like a person. I know some guys who like to focus on one woman at a time if they feel they like her enough but there are few and in between. The rest want to see how many women they can accumulate and collect in a short time which results in fading, flaking, vanishing on both ends. The result, they end up with none and can’t go back to the others they faded on, so they start again.

This is how dating apps keep people tethered to them, the promise of El Dorado.

I was once on a dating app which ended pushing instant matches my way every day. When I first started it was really hard to get a single match but eventually I was matching with people everyday and sometimes getting 20 ‘Intros’ from guys who had liked me only to get the same dry conversations, sexual innuendos from the get go, ‘wife you up’ vibes etc..