Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › What's wrong?
- This topic has 13 replies and was last updated 4 years, 11 months ago by
diane.
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Molly
I had two incredible dates with this guy, we were constantly texting throughout the week, everything was going really well, but then this week he said he’s feeling very poorly because of a cold and starts texting less and didn’t made any plans with me, although he did said that he wants to continue seeing me, I’ve just replied to his last text telling him not to worry and to take care. I feel like I should go no contact for a few weeks to see if he’s going to initiate anything, but I don’t think he will and I don’t know why, everything was going just fine!
Anything else I can do??
Better off single
Lame back burner excuse. The flu is going around so its a good lie.
Keep seeing other people.
Molly
That makes me sad. Is this one gone then?
Ss
What I’ve learnt is that when you have to resort to asking strangers on the internet what’s going on its unlikely to be a good situation.
Sure there are some happy ending stories but if I’m feeling that insecure and anxious about a man my gut is screaming at me that it is off. When its right it should feel easy.
This guy might genuinely be ill or he might be dating around and whilst he likes you he likes someone else more all of sudden. I would step right back as you say and see what he does. This is far easier said then done! I’ve tried at times and ended up reaching out and the guy has responded because he isn’t a complete ar*ehole but all its done is prolong the inevitable.
Step back, if he is keen he will let you know x
Honeypie
He could be ill, actually poorly? I’d give him the benefit of the doubt for a few days. What did he say is wrong with him?
Be cool. I’m hoping you haven’t asked him how he feels about you etc because he hasn’t text as much.
Molly
That’s actually some very good advice, thank you Ss!
Honeypie, he could, but still, he said he has the flu, which means he’s not dying or anything like that. He could make an effort and try to talk to me if I was important. No, its way too soon for that, but when he started to act differently I did ask him if there’s something wrong.
Tallspicy
I am Questioning if you came off too intense. It is concerning to me that you asked him at all, when you’ve only been on two dates, with if something is wrong. The reality is it’s possible that after the second date he just wasn’t that interested just because it was great for you does it mean it was great for him.
Your initial ideas the right one just let him come to you but it sounds like you might have some reflection to do about how you’re showing up to these dates. Before a man is your boyfriend it’s best not to care at all. You don’t know anything about him, you don’t know anything about what his life is like, and you don’t know anything about if he’s dating other people so it’s best to just let it be and wait to see if he shows up.
Molly
Dating is a bit of a challenge for me cause I struggle with anxiety and I’m also mad insecure, so I tend to overthink stuff all the time. I feel like I have a problem about getting infatuated with someone too fast on the first dates until some other guy appears, I tend to get a bit obsessed really and I hate that and don’t know how to stop.
Tallspicy
Please look up anxious attachment and find a therapist who knows how to work on changing attachment patterns and healing trauma.
Molly
Thanks Tallspicy, I feel like that’s the best and when it comes to that guy there’s nothing else I can do.
Sensy
Try seeing things from the perspective of you don’t want anybody that doesn’t love you as much as you love yourself or more than you love yourself.
Raven
He has the Flu…
alia
If someone activates your anxious attachment I would work out why. This is a good time for you to take stock of your own behaviors and see if you can have better coping strategies. Obviously this is over the top for two dates and one lame excuse.
diane
Was in a similar situation three months ago. 10 hour first date, we had been texting so much, then after our date he kept texting but . said . he had a cold and a lot of work and that’s . why he didnt suggest . a second date. Fast forward to today, he re appeared in january, eager . to go . out again, I cancelled three times then finally met him last week, i had an ok time, honestly i think i lost the excitement in three months, but he’s been insisting on going out again. I think i might see him again in a week, i’m not playing hard to get , i’m actually busy but he seems to be stepping up his game. I didnt even ask why he disappeared three months, truth is i know he probably just kept on going on dates. but just so you know these things happen… you never know why
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