Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › When a guy knows you like him…
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 10 years, 4 months ago by
Tara.
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April
My cousin told me “he knows you like him so he probably doesnt feel the need to put in to much effort.”
Been keeping in touch with this guy I met through family for over a year now. Now that I am home we have seen each other a few times and he brought me on a date 2 weekends ago. He introduced me to all of his work friends and this went well. Texted me the next day thanking me for coming.
He has kept in touch with me 5 times now. I havent initiated any of the texts. They were cute youtube videos that reminded him of me or something we talked about or just asking how I have been.. yet he hasnt asked for another date.
I keep myself busy and have been dating other guys but I really like this one. I follow the rules..
1. Date other people
2. Keep life busy
3. Dont initiate contact.I feel like he got nervous after bringing me to a work party and did that “pull away” move for awhile..
I am not acting needy. I just really want to know how he feels..He has told me numerous times in the past that he very much likes me and we agreed on taking it slow.. But now that I am here why wouldnt he want to keep seeing me?
I hate this dating game. Am I playing it right? Do you think he just is nervous of commitment?
Amy
The only way to know how he feels is to ask him but since you just had a few dates with him it seems premature.
He has had a year of knowing you and yet it doesn’t sound like he has pursued you very strongly. Is it possible that you were reading into his interest too much in regards to introducing you to his work friends? His actions don’t show much investment in pursuing you so I wouldn’t go with that alone.
Right now I would say keeping doing the steps you listed above 1, 2 & 3 and take some focus on this guy, focus on the new dates you have more than this guy.
April
I have been living across the country. The times I was home visiting we would get together. And now that I am home officially (for a month) we have seen each other 3 times..
I just dont get whats going on.
I just said it seemed like a big deal because after dinner and brought me to a work party and I got to meet all his friends. Thought that seemed somewhat good that he would want to bring me around that.
Alissa
I really like this guy that I went on a first date with and he texts me everyday we went to the movies on Friday then I stupidly went all the way on the first date and I never do that it was at a hotel room. He still texts me but now the problem is he doesn’t text back a lot right away like he used to sometimes it will be an hour or hours later it just depends so I am confused on this and need advice. I also told him that I wont have sex again until I am in a serious relationship.
Alissa
we haven’t been going out that long its just dating right now and he said he still wants to take me out for the second date too. We started talking last Monday that’s when I met him at this water park place called Big Surf he’s a lifeguard supervisor too. Its just confusing cause at first he told me he was really into me. So please message me back as soon as you can. Thanks.
Harley
Alissa.. pull back and WAIT for him to MAKE PLANS to take you out. DO NOT sleep with him again in the meantime. he sounds like he is pulling back to me and all TALK, no ACTION.. talking about a 2nd dadte.. but making NO PLANS.
A guy who IS REALLY interested will let you know. Keep busy, get out and meet other guys… do NOT pin your hopes on this one.
Jess
So I went on 3 dates with this guy within 2 weeks… like we did lunch and dinner and just talked about a bunch of stuff but I feel like we connected. Thing is we ended up having sex on the second date… first time I ever hooked up with someone so soon but I didn’t regret it so I’m trying not to be hard on myself. After our 3rd date I didn’t hear from him for 2 weeks… during this time I texted him once and he didn’t respond. He said he had been busy with work… I feel like it takes 3 seconds to send a text so I didn’t really want to hear his excuse. He made plans for us to see each other but canceled a day in advance. We ended up going out a few days later. I didn’t mention anything about him being busy but he brought it up by saying he hopes I didn’t think he was trying to blow me off and how he’s honestly just busy with work. I try to trust people until they give me a reason not to so I guess I take his word for it. My only thing is that I feel like he could initiate more contact other than to make plans with me. I don’t want to feel like I’m chasing him so I don’t call or text him if he’s not calling or texting me. At the end of the month it’s going to be 8 weeks since we’ve started hanging out and stuff so do you think by then I should ask him about what’s going on with us? Like I want a relationship and if he doesn’t want one then I can just move on instead of wasting my time.
Harley
Move on…he’s not putting the effort in. 2 mths is too soon to have ‘the talk’ but if you have to question where you stand with a man….it’s not looking good !!!
CJH
I can understand not being the one to make plans, but why the hell wouldn’t you initiate contact every once in a while to let him know you are thinking of him too???? How can any person know you are interested in them if all you ever do is reply to them??? I had a guy I was talking to online that never initiated a convo, but would always reply come to find out he wasn’t interested in me in that way, but liked talking to me. Personally if you don’t initiate any messaging it seems like your not interested in him. My ex loved it when I initiated. Don’t make the plans, let him do the planning and don’t initiate all the time, but try maybe initiating a conversation once a week. You may be surprised how things change and move a little faster.
Pcs
I don’t know why people keep worrying about a guy who doesn’t text back. When I started dating my guy, after the first date he took 9 days to ask me out on a date again (one text to ask how I was doing once), then few more days until the 3rd date, no text between!! (and he asked me out of no where, without any plan!) I didn’t know that I should be worried, I thought it was normal! So I just keep doing my things and dating others, though I really like him!
After the 3rd date, everything has changed! He would text more, we talk a lot more about things but not everyday (I let it happen naturally), and on the fourth date which lasted 2 days, I slept with him and after that he pursues me even harder, though he knew I am very into him! So after 1 month, he now texts me everyday, I never have to ask him anything, he would tell me everything lol
So what I am trying to say is: if a guy likes you, he likes you, you don’t have to question about it. If hes gone for month, no, you should not be worried, because you know he is not interested, you don’t need it! Keep living your life,be happy and when you don’t expect anything, men come to you! If he is already interested, he will be more interested when he knows you like him too. Find a man that gives you no confuse, no question, but more important, you have to love yourself more than liking him first.
Tara
You are on the right track. Keep dating because if he doesn’t put in any effort you don’t want to pass on the guy that is.
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