When He Pulls Away and Comes Back Again….

Hi Katie,

I would not play games. Its NATURAL for a man to pull back and its GOOD that you have learned not to let it freak you out, but you shouldn’t pull back unless you need or want to for your own personal reasons.

I was the one who would often pull back and it would freak the guy out. It had nothing to do with them, but when a relationship becomes too consuming I needed some time to “re-balance” my life so I wasn’t neglecting other important areas. If your’re doing it for this type of reason then you should, but not because you think you should mirror him. Hope this helps :-)

Great.

Yes, you should feel confident to do so when you need it. I would just tell them it isn’t you,…I just need some me-time; to spend time with friends/family; deal with an issue/problem at work, etc. I actually can RELATE to a man’s need to pull-back because I too have this overwhelming need or desire to do it from time-to-time. I think its healthy to do it so the relationship can have some oxygen (space) to miss each other :-)

haha I mean Katie, I was just reading Anna’s post oops

Its good to read that it is normal for girls to pull back too. I find that after spending quite a bit of time with new guy. We spent the whole July 1st together. I tended to pull back. I hardly ever initiate any texts/dates etc. May be once every 10 or more. But I was worried if it was normal or if I had commitment issues. I tend to want to pull back to re-analyse stuff about what, why, how etc. etc. And he sends me texts to find out if I am ok and stuff. So reading the above responses, I am guessing this is normal for me and nothing to be worried about right?

I guess I am freaking out bec he is showing me so much attention and its not just sexual …. he is actually interested in me, my thoughts, my feelings, my dreams, my kids and I am kinda interested in him and very very attracted to him. And also bec I realised that I am no longer interested in current FWB …. I guess no longer current now. Sigh if he goes any slower I think I am just going to JUMP him!!!!!! He is 260 lbs (way more heavier and stronger than me) I guess that won’t work either :(

Ha Ha Sherri,
Great for you! Maybe that is his plan after all :)

Ha ha… my guy was a gentleman for quite a while too and then one day BAM! I am sure he is waiting for YOU to be sure you are ready but just as Harley said, green light that guy and I am sure he will be thrilled!

Hi

I have come to realize that this is a special trait of certain guys. Not all guys but some guys, the signs are usually in the beginning, the periods maybe short sometimes longer.

I have made the same mistakes many women do, chase, get angry, trying to get him to engage in conversations, all making me quiet frustrated and resentful.

The best thing to do when it starts to happen, is to let it happen. More often than not it happens when you least expect it, perhaps after a very intimate moment you shared.

I have been involved with a guy off and on for about a year. We recently got close & before you know it he started to pull away. Texted way less, when I would contact him he was grumpy and moody.

There is great calm in just doing nothing. Acknowledging yourself and say over & over, “I did nothing wrong”. It is not you, it is who he is, this is the type of guy he is, he will not change.

Learn to accept that and let go

Hello am in love this guy we been for six month we text are talk then notice that he start pull alway ff
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so when they come back after a few months with a casual message, then is it wise to let them come back or have to move on? you cant trust that they stay forever.

can someone recommend any type of script to use when a guy “reappears” after 5-6 days from his man cave? this guy apologized for being MIA (he was sick and didn’t feel like talking to anyone) so do I acknowledge that and say no worries? this was on email. just reply to the email and say good to hear from you? i swear i saw a good 1-2 liner the other day and would love to see something specific.

This is what you say – IF he has been consistent until now: Welcome back to the world of the living, cutie! So happy you are feeling better! Thank for the apology, that is so sweet :-). It would feel so good next time if you just checked in with a little text to tell me what was up so I knew what was going on. Looking forward to reconnecting!

No drama, no muss, no fuss. It assumes he likes you, and wants to do what you need as well. It also gives him one chance to fix it. If it happens again, just assume he is not that into you and end it.