When he says he is not well

He has cold. I did ask him, he said he needs to rest. I said, I wish I could be with you. He replied. hmm. What am I supposed to make of this? May be he is just resting but he is making me feel low like this.

I operate like this when I’m not well too. He maybe that type. I normally prefer being on my own till i have recovered. Give him a couple of days. I think he will bounce back

Thanks ladies. I will wait up. My last text might have sent neediness signal, can I undo that?

Not sure if I would like to keep up with seasonal flickering though!

I believe someone until they give me a reason not to trust them. If he has never lied to you then trust him. Ask him if there is anything you can do to help. Tell him to rest up and call once a day to check on him….you would expect the same courtesy from him.

Good luck.

Anny, you are over analyzing to the max!!!! You need to let the poor sick man BREATH without you breathing down his sick back!

Let the man get well, give him some time to recoup! Of course he’s disconnecting, it’s temporary and it’s not personal. He’s disconnecting so that he can get well! When I’m sick, I disconnect too, because I’m too busy trying to get better by sleeping or just feeling incredibly under the weather to the point where I have no energy to entertain anyone.

You shouldn’t have gotten needy with your texts, that comes off as very selfish. Think about it, he’s in bed, sick, sleeping, has little energy, and he’s reviving texts from you with messages at reads to him something like “hey! I know ur sick but I need some attention! Validate me!!! Send me a message back so that I can feel better! Me, me, me….”

Relax, he’s sick. He most likely would rather you not be around him when he’s feeling like shit and prob looking like shit. It has nothing to do with you. You should have just shown ur concern when u first found out, wished him better and left it by saying “if you need anything to help make you feel better, don’t hesitate to ask” and allow him to reach out if he should need you.

From now on, leave the poor sick man be. He will reappear again when he’s feeling better.

This is what happened next..
He called me yesterday in the morning. I am usually asleep at that time but just yesterday I was out jogging. I called him after I came back, he did not answer, I left him a text telling him that I was out jogging and did not had my phone and how was he feeling. He did not reply whole day and then at night messaged , ‘hi’, no calls! No reply to my text! It did not feel good so I went to sleep without replying to his ‘hi’ing.

This morning he sent ‘hey’ again. I replied with a hi and have nothing!! I am just starting to feel that he is not bothered about how I feel, he will text/call/see me in his free time. The courtship period is probably over and I am the one stressing out and feeling bad about the whole thing!! And probably he is sensing that when I don’t reply its because I am not happy about something and when I do reply after an hour (as opposed to one whole day like him), I am so desperate for him!!

What would you all suggest me to do here. I don’t want to be rude since he is only recovering from a illness. I also don’t want to game play but its early and I can gain the respect back and maintain it. I suppose…

My advise is don’t reply to any texts or calls. My boyfriend said he was sick, but he really wanted space. So I gave it to him.When he finally text me to thank me for something I ignored it. I didn’t call him or text him for 3 days (it wasn’t easy) and next time I saw him in a social setting, I also ignored him, well let me tell you, after he realized I was at the same place he was he asked if I got his text and I just said yes and nothing else. Well let me tell you this, when I decided to go home he insisted on walking me to my car and then all of a sudden he wanted hugs & kisses and for me to go home with him, when we were alone he told me how much he lives me and that he was sorry for being inconsiderate and since then he’s been wonderful.. SO pretty much what was happening, is he can dish it out but he can’t take it when he is ignored. I don’t think men play games on purpose but I agree with some of the above posts about coming across needy. I just let him have what he wanted and let him do a bit of chasing and all is good now. :)

This is the EXACT SCENARIO I go through every few months. It ruins any closeness that has built up between us, to go a couple days without communicating when HE is the one who got me used to his calling constantly, you know? It’s horrible and it makes the woman appear needy, but really, he is causing it because he got you into this whole constant communication crap in the first place. You don’t know if you should keep texting or asking how are you, because if you don’t they’ll say “you didn’t care when I was sick boo hoo hoo”, but if you DO ask, then you risk them thinking you’re needy, clingy, or also that they just won’t reply and leave you in silence for days!!! It’s a manipulative game if you ask me, one that they can go play by themselves. I hope you walked away, anyone that truly has empathy and cares about you would understand how that must seem on your end. I’m not saying a person doesn’t need time alone if they’re sick, but I guess it’s sort of an insecurity that’s built up in you becuase of how he always treats you and suddenly, it has changed. It seems like it changed for awhile, too, not just because he was “sick”. It’s such a painful feeling, because you don’t know what to do. I hope you figured it out and feel better.

Okay well my crush is sick and i feel really bad and well i was texting him and said i wish i could help and comfort him and he just said haha. What does that mean?

Hey guys,

So I’ve been seeing this guy for a month and a half(I know it’s super new), but he canceled plans with me this past weekend because he said he wasn’t feeling well. He went home from work Friday and past out. He messaged me the next morning(Saturday) and said he had appendicitis and needed emergency surgery Satuday afternoon. He messaged me after surgery and he updated me Sunday as well. All of a sudden, after telling me he was feeling better, he has grown very distant. I’ve offered my support and to visit him, he didn’t want any visitors and has not acknowledge my show of care and concern. I spoke to him yesterday at 1:45 pm last and he didn’t respond to my text until this morning at 730, gave me an update and quickly let me go. Haven’t heard from him since. He’s growing more and more distant and has seemed off. Before we would text all throughout the day, shall I be concerned? Seems like it’s normal for guys to retreat when they are sick but if I was stuck in a hospital room bored, I would be all over texting people and keeping busy. Everything was amazing and he seemed so enthusiastic before so I thought he would be more receptive to my genuine concern and support or would want to talk to me.

1) You’ve only been dating 6 weeks, 2) He had EMERGENCY surgery! 3) They actually took out an organ out of his body 4) do you really feel like texting and chitchatting when you are in pain and healing from major surgery? 5) It’s only been since this morning!! Maybe YOU need to go to the hospital and get a chill pill!!

You did what you could to show him your support, there is nothing else you can do. A few days from now if you don’t hear from him, you can call him and ask how he is feeling and that you hope his surgery went well without complications. Then you can say that you feel he wants space (ha!) and would leave it up to him to contact you, because you are unsure if your company is needed. Something along those lines, but make it friendly and light. If he doesn’t reply again, then you’d have your answer.