When he says ' I really do hope we meet up soon' confused!

Sue I think this is a duplicate thread, you have one already where we advised you.

I can see why you initiated contact since you felt him slipping away and then us women foolishly think that we can “fix” the problem by pushing them sometimes in ways we may not even notice. I think that it is better to wait for him to say it that he misses you and wants to see you and you not initiating contact. Problem is of course it may not happen but then there is nothing you can do anyhow. It is good to give them time too.

But if you voice concerns like you have, you want to see a change on his part and if you do not see it but instead see more fading, well, you know that it is likely not a good thing. Give him a bit of time for that but do not push any further.

I feel that my LDR just crashed and it started out as something huge, full of love and feelings and devotion and it all changed which I think started with him not being able to commit, me noticing after a while and asking trying to find out about it and telling him not meeting does not work for me.

Some of it was not his fault but I felt unable to do it anymore after a couple of months of not meeting and I guess bringing up that we need to decide only pushed him further away. OTOH; had I not asked for that and been very relaxed sure it might have come to commitment in a couple of years or not, maybe if I am willing to make many compromises. I was very patient though and perhaps put the pieces together about what went wrong sometimes a bit too late.

I do not think you made a mistake, I think what played against me is playing against you, men distance themselves in LDRs, not intentionally but they forget you, they really need that physical connection too. Out of sight out of mind. It is totally different when you are only gone for shorter times but local to each other.

Your man likely lost his initial excitement too and now reality hit, this is the point where I think many break it off. He may be thinking things over and may still come back but the question is where your relationship is going is there is a common goal to move together anytime in the relatively near future.

I think it is not a good sign that his reaction was that you two lost contact now. In other words he has no fear of losing you. Perhaps you acted needy but perhaps yours was only a reaction to his lack of action. I waited very patiently and only got upset when things did not happen.

In my case it is even weirder as mine disappeared after we made plans and reservations. I think that when men are comfortable that they have you, they lose the fear of losing you, they relax and you are no longer that interesting to them. But of course you want a man that is just as interested in seeing you as you are in him. It is not a good thing because it feels to me like you cannot relax with a man, once you finally open up and try to relax, boom they kick you in the lower half.

My only advice would be not to contact him and let him sort through it on his own. Do not ask for a meeting. See if he contacts you. You contacting him will not help this situation at all. You cannot force someone to want to talk to you, be there for you, want to be with you and want to meet you. Sadly so.

It is very sad because I am not sure what you two have talked about initially but in my case I was really led on because my guy came on strong and I have the feeling that yours did too too and then you slowly start noticing the signs of them slipping away.

Time will tell. I can only tell you that had I known how many potentially good relationships can be ruined by distance, I would have never gotten into mine. Unfortunately it was a feeling we developed for each other over time and then acted on it. I would have kept it at friendship level had I known that LDR generally do not work no matter how big the love is.