When he says its just a joke and I'm overreacting

You’re welcome hon. And if you only knew..haha. I am going through my own relationship issues right now. That’s why I think it would be great if you could get that knowledge now. Discover your worth. Too many of us women let a man determine our value. A relationship determines our value. We determine our own value.

Thankyou so much for your help tonight. Do you have a thread on here? Maybe I can give some help to you too. Obviously I don’t have a lot of experience but still I want to return the favour

I agree with Andy, RCS and Kaye re the joking/ribbing, but also what Caetru said right at the end.

I have thick skin and a dry/sarcastic/witty sense of humour.
I like a funny guy, and my one is HILARIOUS – similar dry, sarcastic, witty sense of humour, just even more deadpan than me. We tend to take the absolute piss out of each other, and I LOVE IT! He has a go at me, I hit back. He once responded with “OhhhHHhhhhHHHhhhhhHHHhh, that attitude, I LUVIT!!” and another time with “A girl that can take it and dish it out just as well? AWESOME.” So for us it’s a way to build rapport and bond with each other. If he oversteps (and he has, btw), I do however call him on it, so that he knows where the (my) boundaries lie.
But as Caetru rightly said, this is probably not the type of dynamic that works for you. It is supposed to be fun and not meant to make one partner feel bad. I don’t know if it’s the wounds of your past relationship that has made you more vulnerable or if he is just not the guy for you, but I would do a little introspection/have a little think about this relationship if I were you, especially since you are still young and there will be many more guys/relationships.

Emma, if your gut is telling you that it’s a sneaky way to hit you where it hurts (insecurities, vulnerabilities etc), I won’t argue my POV and encourage you to walk away. You don’t need someone instilling doubts/putting you down (especially subtly or under the guise of teasing) in your life. I know it’s easier said than done, but adding to what KimF said, the sooner you remedy behavioral patterns (finding yourself drawn to abusive men, for example), the sooner you’ll set yourself up for a healthy adult (dating) life.

And to answer your question, if he gets no reaction from you, he might get bored and quit it, but I doubt playing along (when it’s secretly bugging/hurting you) will do you any good. I mean, do you reckon you’ll ever get used to it/be okay with it? On the flip side, if you hit back (harder!) he MIGHT cut it out, but like I said, if your gut is telling you there’s more behind it…

That would be a complete DOUCHE move if he did that. Yes, I know that comment doesn’t help. (Agree re couch surfing, I didn’t even consider it in my budget travelling days, safety first, money worries later.)

I read your first post when you made it too, wanted to say it just sounds like typical dude humour, but that’s basically what the others said too, so I didn’t comment. I have a question though, when was your last break up and how long has French Funny been in the picture?

Hi
If you need him right now then you should go to 16th.i dont think he would break up with you.if he was to he could have done it..why would he wait it.
although dont get too attached..it always leave us broken..be smart and confident..:)

Is this your boyfriend now that you’re with that did this?

I don’t know why I can’t move past it

No, not really. Ive told only one person this face to face and they told me I was being ridiculous. My mum wouldn’t understand, my closest friends wouldn’t either and I have no sisters. Why do you ask?

Is it criminal if I didn’t stop him? I don’t know ive thought about it a lot it’s defintely in the grey area. I talked to him about it afterwards and he asked me what my problem was as I clearly enjoyed it. And the one person I told said I had no leg to stand on because it wasn’t the last time we slept together and said I was being ridiculous. My brother is usually a lot of help he’s calming and reasonable.. but he lives back home im here in France there isn’t a lot he can do from there. Am I not exaggerating this? What if it was another joke I took too seriously

No I don’t have social security here yet, so no GP and I teach here as part of a young assistants programme. I don’t know what to think. I’ve been pushing it down reminding myself it’s my fault for not pushing him off or saying something. No one will take it seriously though will they it was over a month ago he’s now my boyfriend it wasn’t the only time that night we did it and it’s my word against his..

I’m trying to think of someone… All my friends and family are back home they’d help in a heartbeat but what is there to say it do? And my friends here I’ve only known since I arrived in September. I need to stay at his on the 16th there’s nowhere else I can go :( then end it after

I knew it bothered me.. But I thought I was exaggerating it. So I left it out