Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › When he’s always working
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 4 years, 11 months ago by
Warasen.
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Kate
So I need some sane advise, I’ve only gone out with this guy twice in the last three weeks. He works a lot, he owns his own company so I respect that. I’m not going to get mad at a guy for being determined and working hard but I also am stuck in my head thinking. He’s told me he’s not talking to any other girls and that he’s interested in me but I’m having a hard time thinking I’m getting strung along or wasting my time. I know he’s actually working when he says he is because majority of the time he send me pics at work, it’s just difficult for me because he says all this stuff but his actions aren’t following suit. I get it s only been two dates and I’m jumping way ahead of myself but I just have a feeling I’m being too nice and waiting for this guy to finally make some time as how can we even figure out if we’re interested in one another when we only hang out twice in three weeks. (We also usually talk on the phone but this past week he’s always made up a reason why he can’t talk)
Paige
Three weeks, two dates – and you’re waiting for him to make time for you?
Sweetie, get out there and find some guys to have fun with.
It’s way too early to tie yourself down in shackles that you (and you alone) willingly put on.
Kate
Thanks for the reply Paige, I appreciate it. I’m just not the type of person who likes to “see” multiple people at once, just not my thing. I know it’s only two dates haha that’s why I’m just needing some random advice. My girlfriends are great and give great advise but I know they will say the nice thing to make me feel better and not be blunt with me.
Liz Lemon
When I met my boyfriend he was working 60+ hour weeks (he has thankfully changed jobs since then!). There were times when he had 14 hour work days. He still found time to take me out 2-3 times a week. He was really, really into me and wanted to make sure I knew it.
I understand this guy owns his own business and is undoubtedly busy. He may still be feeling things out with you, who knows. I agree with the advice given, you should in no way be tying yourself down to this guy after only 2 dates! It’s too early for you to even know if you’re a good match. If he doesn’t have time to take you out, find a guy who will. I don’t understand the “not wanting to see multiple people” mindset. I can see not sleeping with multiple people at once, but you’ve had 2 dates with this guy. By restricting yourself and waiting for him to come around and take you out, you could be missing out on a guy who’s more into you.
kaye
You say “We also usually talk on the phone but this past week he’s always made up a reason why he can’t talk” How do you know he’s making up a reason? I mean is he telling you he’s busy or you actually know he’s making it up?
I think there are women who can deal with dating a busy man and women who can’t. My husband was single for 17 years after his divorce and dated many women who couldn’t handle the fact he owned his own business and was a workaholic. He really appreciated the fact I understood what it takes to run your own business because I had one of my own. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a dad who was/is a workaholic or maybe it’s because my ex husband was lazy and didn’t work the last 8 years of our marriage, but I respected his work ethic and it was a nice change of pace from being married to a man who had NO drive or ambition and was all talk!!
But you are WAY too early in the dating process after only 2 dates and not being in a committed relationship to not still be dating others and keeping your options open. If this guy comes through and makes time for you and makes you a priority, then great. But if he doesn’t you have other guys lining up to take you out. Go live your life. Do all the things you did before you even met this guy. If his actions start matching his words then give him a chance, if they don’t then NEXT!!
Khadija
Sigh another guy who works a lot.
Listen please go find someone who has time to date. There are guys out there who work and have time to invest into dating and eventually a relationship.
Don’t get into to the waiting around mode for a guy you’ve only met twice.
He may be a great guy but, your needs aren’t getting met.
A guy who is unavailable isn’t what you’re looking for.Kate
Thanks everyone! Who knows what is to come, he said yesterday we should plan something but no plans yet haha so we will see if he follows through. Appreciate all the advise, mental note not to think ahead and keep seeing others until a relationship is solidified.
Tallspicy
Nope nope nope. This will most likely never become what you want. Men who want to be boyfriends act like it and early. It is a red flag that he’s not escalating how much time he spends with you. After a couple of dates if he liked you he would get another date on the calendar, no matter how busy he is. I would keep my expectations very very very low on this. If he likes you he want to see you at least once a week and he would be consistent. Doesn’t seem like that’s the case.
Warasen
It’s only been 2 dates in 3 weeks. Anyone who has or had their own business will tell you, we work harder than if we worked for someone else.
Some women don’t want to deal with a busy man which is ok too. You have to decide if you need more attention than he’s capable of providing.
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