Who is supposed to send a text after the first date–guy or girl?

I always send a thank you text, even if i’m not really interested in seeing the guy again. If I am interested, I make it a bit flirtier. Something like “thank you for dinner and drinks, I had a lovely time.” And reference a joke we made. Then it is their job to follow up further after that and plan the next date. But I think it is good to show you appreciated their generosity.

Hi Janet,
Yes I’d have to say that even if you did not send a thank you text, he probably would have followed up to see if you wanted to go out again. Thankfully, it was only a first date and hopefully you aren’t too invested in it.
Onto the next – so many guys out there that would be excited to blow up your phone :p

As already said, if a man is interested you know about it. There’s no guess work or wondering if you should do this or that. He might be playing but a three day rule or something, though, but for me, I find that kind of thing off-putting.

A four-hour first date? Sheesh.

Don’t assume it’s over, but don’t assume it will continue, either. Just keep dating other guys, and if he wants to see you again, he’ll be in touch.

Ugh – that’s a tough situation – I usually do offer, just to be polite, but guys almost NEVER take me up on that offer. A true gentleman would not allow you to pay for anything on the first date.

I wouldn’t go out with this guy again if I were you. You’ll meet a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

For a first date, I believe four hours is too long. I would keep it at two hours maximum. The purpose of a first date is to feel each other out (not physically, lol), see if there’s any sort of connection, small talk… essentially, so you both can decide whether you want to see each other again. Four full hours of conversation, potential awkwardness, and direct contact is just too intense for the very first time meeting someone, in my opinion. There will be plenty of time for long dates in the future, if you hit it off and all goes well.

The way to keep it relatively short: tell him you have plans for later in the day/night. Do not say “I’m against four-hour dates” or anything like that. Maybe you meet for lunch at noon, and you have plans at 2:00 to meet a friend for shopping. Or you meet the guy for dinner at 7 pm, and you have plans to get a drink with your buddies at 9.

Just my opinion. First dates should not linger on and on, but rather, leave room for more to talk about and discover about each other on the second date.

When you are having a good time you are not looking at your watch. I don’t care how many hours it will take unless is very late and I need to go to sleep.

OMW I had a date on Thursday night and the guy also let me pay, not just half, oh no, I paid 65% of the bill. He didn’t bat an eyelid. Took out some cash and told me, you can get the rest. I was so shocked. But I smiled, took out my card and swiped it. He asked me out again though and I politely declined.

I’m curious to find out if the first guy has gotten in contact with you or not. I had a terrific date on Saturday night, he just didn’t want to say goodnight. Paid for everything and kissed me at the end. Sent me a text to say thank you and let me know when your safe. I did and I thanked him too. Nothing after that.

I normally never keep a time limit for the dates. In case it is going well then I let it continue, in case I am not feeling it, I get out asap! ( 45 minutes has been my shortest date where there was just no spark and I got out faking a work call). Also there’s a guy with whom I’ve been on a few dates and it’s funny but my first date with him lasted for a good 6-7 hours! We went out to dinner and before I knew it it was 4 hours down! post which it was his close friend’s birthday so he asked me if I’d like to come along and I said sure, I went to the party, met his friends and we all had fun and the party went on. So yes, I think it depends on how you feel :)

Thanks for all the input, ladies!
@Anon — no the first guy didnt contact me yet. it sucks cuz the date actually went great, the only thing that bothered me was that he kept talking about how he’s been going out with a bunch of girls and how it’s easy for him to try to pick-up girls at clubs/bars because online dating has reduced his fear of rejection. Like, i’m dating other guys too, but i’m not going to go around parading that fact. But with that aside, he met ALL my other criteria and im so tempted to text him…but i wont. At the end of the date it was just a bit awkward cuz i had to catch the train so i quickly hugged him and thanked him and there wasnt really time for us to say if we wanted to see each other again.

@Stefanie — But in a way, i would rather find out that a guy is cheap from the first date and cutting him off. True, if i dont say anything about the bill the guy would cover it –but i wouldn’t want him to cover it because he feels like he’s forced to but rather because he understands vales and is being chivalrous.

I was talking to my brother, and he said he appreciates it when the girl offers to pay instead of just sitting there –but that he’d NEVER accept the offer even if the date didnt go well. I guess his views have affected my perspective as well.

I don’t see anything wrong with a 4-hour date either! I mean, I wouldn’t go into a date *expecting* it to be 4 hours, but if the conversation is flowing and 4 hours come and go quickly, why cut it short? Most of my dates were an hour or two, but my first date with my boyfriend was 4 hours. We intended to just meet for a drink but ended up having another drink and then ordering food too because we were having such a good time. When we finally decided it was time to head home (because the restaurant was turning into a dance club and it was getting hard to hear each other) we looked at the time and realized how long it had been. We’ve been together six months now and I’ve never felt so comfortable with a person. I think the fact that we connected so well on the first date was the first sign that we clicked, and I’m glad I didn’t cut it short.

I guess I am done with dinner dates and stop doing all together in the first date.

I would now meet for coffee, then if he wants to MEET again for food. I would go for pizza or diner. If I really like him, I would love that he takes me out to a romantic restaurant. It works for me perfectly.