Why am I so so unlucky with love? Never had a consistent romance

How can something so real, change like this

I’d never had a boyfriend. I have high standards, but those standards are someone being kind, respectful, mature etc. I just wasn’t finding that, getting ghosted all the time, men only wanting sex. I have quite a low threshold for crap as well and if a man is doing something I don’t like, I’m instantly turned off.

When I turned 25, I was starting to panic. I’ve never been desperate but my friends and family were reassuring me I would meet someone nice soon.

And they weren’t wrong. After years and years of being on dating apps and having terrible dates, I got a lovely message from a man on a dating app

And we started talking. We just clicked, conversation and banter just flowed. We would talk and talk about the most random things, our conversations were full of puns and finally when we met in person, wow it was amazing. He told me he really fancied me, and that he couldn’t wait for our relationship

So that’s how it started. As he was a new immigrant, I would plan the dates. He was very complimentary of me, I met his friends,he told his mom about me, he would text me non stop. We would do a lot of fun things together and it felt relaxing and healthy. He reassured me he was a nice guy, and that he’s learnt from past relationships and that his friends all want him to date their sisters as they know he’s nice and supportive

I didn’t doubt it

He persuaded me when my tenancy was over, to move to his town, it was a nice new start and it just felt right and exciting. But when I moved there, it was my new roommates who said ‘does he never take you on a date, seems he’s using you for convenience.’ This really upset me and I told my boyfriend and he told me not to listen to what other jealous single women say.

I started asking why he never planned dates and how he’d never taken me on a date and he gave some excuse about how he doesn’t know what’s around and feels bad using my car to get to places. He promised me ‘I promise I will make more effort in future xx’

But he never did, and I became really sad and anxious and I pulled away. I actually lost attraction and was turned off. I knew the attraction could come back if he tried to but effort in wand woo me. He got scared I was going to leave him. He told me when he had more money he was going to treat me.

But over time, he seemed to become resentful. Critical of very little things. He was obsessed with money all the time. He called me pressuring when I politely suggested we booked a little summer holiday. He mentioned his exes a lot, never in a bad way, but it was constant chat about his past relationships. Called me manipulative like his ex, after I told him that him being on his phone all the time when we hang out makes me feel bad.

I used to get extremely jealous and resentful when I told him ‘I’d really appreciate it if you plan things in advance, not just say you want to see me the day before the weekend.’ And he would just sigh. But he made plans well in advance with his mates

All this made me super anxious. And a final weekend we spent together, he was telling me I didn’t understand his sarcastic jokes, that I’m indecisive and slow at planning. He sometimes shook his head at me and gave me dirty looks

He phoned me up and dumped me at 8 months and told me he dated me out of lonliensss. I’m really confused because it was so so real in the beginning, a connection like that cannot be faked

He never spoke to me again soon and I don’t know what that means as he stayed friends with all his other exes

I’m trying to date again and it’s just back to the same old. I’m 27, and can’t find anyone nice, or who I click and feel safe with like my ex