Why can't guys be straight up honest?

CC,

I saw your last post. I am really sorry, but you have very unrealistic expectations. Why? Well, how can he nicely tell you he is not interested? You have put him in a terrible position, with someone he does not even know. He would have told you with his actions of not asking you out again, but you tried to push him to tell you outright.

And honestly, even asking that to begin with means you are deeply insecure in this situation. He probably thought getting into it with you was simply not worth it. He is being honest, honestly telling you with his actions he is not interested.

Does this make him a bad person? No. Should he have been straight with you? Yes. Is he an asshole – no he is not, he did not owe you anything.

He is ignoring you because of a mixture of his inability to be straight up in hard situations, and because you should have never asked him that to begin with.

He is not invested in you, even a little, so he does not want to hurt your feelings, so he is just leaving it be.

Because you are trying to control him, basically. To control the outcome. Why would you ask something like that? Own who you are, always. So you got your period and kicked back your heels. Good for you, carry that attitude and stop texting this poor man and asking him to reject you!!!

Because it is easier than telling you upfront that he’s not interested and hurting your feelings. Men want to avoid hurting women’s feeling at all costs. That’s why you will see so many stories of women who dated a man for months, or even a year or more and he suddenly ghosts, no formal break up or conversation to end the relationship.

You’re only talking about going on one date. He does not owe you an explanation or confirmation of his disinterest; you barely know each other. Women do the same thing all the time, I know I do. This does not make him an asshole, he’s simply avoiding any potential confrontation. In an ideal world, yes, we would appreciate people being upfront and honest. But men have learned that being honest often times leads to an emotional and sometimes irrational woman who can’t stand to hear the truth. So they take the easy way out and just fade out or completely ghost. It happens all the time in dating, so get used to it. If you are seeking reassurance or confirmation from someone about their feelings or lack there of, you will not get it most of the time.

He really did answer your question anyway; no response is a response. He’s not interested.

CC,
This comes with the territory of dating. There will be rejection along the way but, you have to let it just slide off your back.

After one date a man does not need to call you again to say he is not intersted. A first date should be met with low expectaions and just the midset of having a good time.Anything more and you’ll be setting yourself up for heartache every time things do not go your way.

Eventually after all the blunders that can happen with dating you will meet the right person. Over the years I’ve been in your spot.When I met a new guy I was always thankful that the last guy didn’t call. The new guy was always hotter, funnier, sexier, and just a better fit for me.

Keep it movin!

Yesterday I was talking to my friend and we got to the conclusion that there are some women out there that are highly responsible for men acting this way, women that are so damaged and lack self respect so much that can not understand that no means NO. They make them go through hell with all the desperate things they do. She was telling me about a psycho that chased the guy, got naked at his office, pretended like they were going to a group movie night out and in the end it was only them. Stuff like that, texts late at night, drunk texting, stalking, harassing and the list goes on and on. Men are not evil, we are not evil and we sometimes do the same. It’s only a way of protecting ourselves. Cowardly but just a way of avoiding conflict and hurting someone’s feelings. I completely agree that it’s not the right thing to do and hurts like hell when you are in the ignored end but I can see why they do it.

Mistral,

Oh my! Did she over do it? Yes. Was she a entitled prima donna? No.

That is name calling and it is not helpful. And we agreed not to do it.

We have no idea if he was interested or not after the date. We will never know. But, we do know that sending a – Just tell me the truth text is never a way into a man’s heart. That is her learning….

I mean, don’t beat yourself up over your behavior but learn from it and UNDERSTAND that when you do stupid sh*t, some people aren’t gonna find it acceptable. Accept accountability for your actions and choices and realize that if someone doesn’t agree with them, they’re likely to walk away and they’re absolutely entitled to do so. I have a solid list of drunken horror stories and I’ve always known if my guys bounced after, that it was my own doing. *The key is to start smaller :) bahahaha KIDDING!! They key prob is to not behave like that at all. Lol

Better to make mistakes than to be ignorant.

I understand your position perfectly, I have done the same in the past. I was romantically challenged lol (I’m afraid I still suffer from it to some degree)… Life doesn’t come with a manual. Romantic relationships are hard, confusing and stressing, mostly for people that haven’t dated for a long time or have self esteem issues. Thank God we have information and now more than ever, we have books, websites, dating coaches and so many sources that it can also be confusing. Don’t be hard on yourself as we all have been through something similar.

Chin up girl and keep on dating and learning.

CC,

You were acting like MOST normal Western Hemisphere women do. Which sadly has become a land of entitled prima donnas due to inflated egos of the women of the 60s and 70s who were born in the 40s who ruined life for all the women that came after them. They were all super selfish.

I respond to dudes I had a first date with and I’m no longer interested in them. Some ask, hey what do you think, do you want to hang out again? And I politely decline. Why on heart can’t I get the same kind of courtesy? … I know there are phycho girls out there, I know a first date is a first date but come on! … I’d like to think if a guy is a quality person he would at least say he’s sorry but not interested. It’s not the end of the world for us or them. I feel like there’s more drama and immaturity when they go silent than when they politely decline. Whenever that happens I feel amazing and delete their phone number right away, no hard feelings at all. I think our society is going wild with no manners whatsoever.

Rose- I agree, while I just accept that’s how dating can be I really did wish people would say something.

Any guy that hits me up after a date that I don’t like I kindly let him know we will not be seeing each other again. The times men did let me know I said thank you and wished him well.

By the way you are a very lovely lady:)