Why Can't We Leave Each Other Alone

Do not mistake it to necessarly mean love. It could be codependecy,he is your comfort zone, or the dysfuntionality of the relationship is all you know.. It would be benificial for you to go no contact and detach yourself emotionally from him, so you can work on yourself. This relationship most likely will not change. This seems to be the dynamic between you two.. disengage from it all, and you will see how things fall onto place on your own life.

Thank you for your response Marie. Let me be clear about myself….I’m totally at the prime of my life. The difference between me and him is that I am half way to retirement and he’s working on getting his career established, as he has had many setbacks early on that I can assure you, makes him feel like he’s not where he wants to be in life right now. And I understand that. He has shared with me many times how there is so much he would like to do for me….in which I have told him numerous times that it doesn’t matter to me as to what he can and can’t do….his presence means more to me than material things. I don’t feel the relationship is dysfunctional. I feel the way he handles it when he’s trying to achieve something is the issue. It makes me feel like I’m a distraction to his endeavors. I guess I need to figure out how to express this without coming off as selfish to him. I totally get when men feel like they need to conquer the world or whatever.

sometimes men shut down when their careers are involved. There is an article on newmode about that actually. So that could be playing a big part. But your situation reminds me of one I had with my ex of 4 years. The last 2 years of our relationship was tumultuous, and the last year we were on again, off again. I’ve learned that if someone truly values you as a lover they won’t let you go so easy. My ex and I are still good friends 3 years after breaking up. He and I couldn’t stay apart from each other because of the underlying strong friendship, not underlying true love.