Why is he ignoring me but looks at my snapchat stories?

Yep. …I’d say game player. you will next hear from him when he wants a hook up. .save yourself time and heartache and move on to a guy who wants to date you.

Tessa, are you saying you don’t want a relationship?? If you are just OK with casual hook-ups, then the answer is simple – he’ll contact you when he feels like it, and you can say yes or no when you feel like it. Clearly he wants to remain in control of the situation or he’d be responding to you. If you do want a relationship then walk. “Girlfriends are hard work” – hilarious.

I watch the snapchat videos of people I barely know who added me on there. Does it mean anything? No. He’s probably enjoys the videoes and the idea that you want him. But you chasing him this way won’t make him want you. If anything he’s just thinking less of you. This guy is probably picking up on the fact you want more and is pulling away. I’d let him go! Do you really want a FWB or do you want a relarionship?

He is not a game player because he is honest with your relationship just be casual, about sex, not dating, and not exclusive.

In actuality you are the game player because you are acting like you are ok with casual but you are not, you have expectations like when he should contact you etc.

You need to think of what you want and if you are ok with casual which means each do as you please with no expectations or obligations to one another – which you broke by posting here proving you are over-invested.

So that is that, accept it for what it is and don’t expect anything like a girlfriend expects things, or move on and seek out a real relationship.

I don’t think casual is run by men or women. it is based on both person’s availability and moods. If my fwb had told me what yours had, I would have dumped him on the spot. As I do not find that respectful. As in what way are my needs more than his? Even if I am in an FWB, I have placed boundaries which I expect to be respected in the same way he has. And if I do not get respect whether it be from a friend, acquaintance, fwb or a guy I am dating, they don’t deserve me in their life.

Every man and woman has a different idea of casual and relationship behavior. The man in question obviously views a woman reaching out to him as girlfriend behavior, which he will discourage because he doesn’t want that. Other men would love to be booty called as they like to feel sexualy wanted. It is all over the place and really depends on the people.

I guess if you want to engage in a casual relationship and understand the unspoken rules then go and speak them, what are the expecations for who contacts who, what are perceived acceptable casual behaviors and not acceptable relationship behaviors. Then you can decide if each is ok with that.

Also, Ivy it is exclusive. He made it very clear that if I was with anyone else he would end it and I agreed to the same terms.

I am also not playing games, I am trying to pull it back to what it should be.. CASUAL. He was the one crossing boundaries. Don’t automatically assume it was the woman at fault. He has played a massive part in taking this beyond casual and confusing the situation/giving mixed signals.

I couldn’t agree more! The problem is that when I do communicate these things, its almost like he seems to think I am lying. That I say that now and will go back on it and start obsessing over him or something. I am presuming this is based on his past experiences. I suppose I just feel rejected and I am not sure if we are done or if he will come back. As I said previously I have given up all contact and I have cut down on the snapchat use. I still post enough so he can see I am living my life, having fun as per normal without him (nothing negative, maybe one snap a day).

I just find it very rude that he ignores me but still looks at them, its almost like rubbing it in my face. When I think back logically he really only does respond to me when he wants me to come over so I think I need to start taking control of the situation. I tend to drop everything and go over there because I like the idea of having fun and sex and it puts me in a great mood until I see him again. I feel like both of us don’t trust each other but yet seem to get far too close and forget that there should be boundaries in place. I just feel horribly mean if I say whoa buddy back off a bit and I worry he will vanish. Its very rare I actually feel comfortable with another man.

Hmm, to be honest I do actually like when he is in charge, that’s part of what makes it so suitable to me. I think the whole being ignored thing is my own issue, not really a reflection of him. It was more like “hey hang on what about my needs!” as it really has been about him and his needs the last few weeks, leaving me feeling a bit needy and being little spoon just doesn’t seem to cut it!

We were at a place where we were communicating really well, he was very clear with me and we could talk about anything. This seemed quite unusual for me based on my past experiences and he seems to share his feelings and thoughts about his life, work, future and even weird things like his bills and how he plans to buy another house, etc. I tried to bring the conversation back to just the basics, because really isn’t casual not about being a part of the persons personal life outside the bedroom?

If he comes back would it be very rude of me to sit down and say “hey lets sort some of this stuff out, we seem to be crossing a lot of boundaries and its getting dramatic and not so easy breezy!” then tell him I enjoy the 2 nights per week and can we try to stick to that and I will refrain from any contact in the meantime, I leave it up to him to contact me when he wants to see me. That he doesn’t discuss his personal life, hopes, dreams, etc. That we actually stick to having sex and he focuses on me, not just sorting out what he wants from the situation as that makes me consider going elsewhere because really at the end of the day if that’s not being met, whats the point? is that too direct?

Just put up with it and honestly I can’t handle that anymore. I was enjoying it so much and having fun, no stress.. but now! now, its just horrible. I feel like I am in a sticky relationship I want out of!

I only worry about being direct as I have known him for a very long time and we were friends before (we also have a lot of mutual friends) and I just don’t want to rock the boat.

Is being that direct okay though? I haven’t ever done this before, normally I just disappear if I don’t like how its going but I think he is a good match FWB wise

So its okay to bring up the fact he is blatantly ignoring me? I want to see at least have the decency to appear busy and not ready my snaps at all, not read then ignore.

I am so glad you get it, Lane! If it wasn’t for the fact I can see him viewing my snapchats I would honestly have thought he was dead haha. I feel frustrated because he seemed to get needy and I just tolerated it and hoped it would blow over but hell I didn’t expect him to react like this and just vanish! Perhaps my text thanking him for being so lovely alerted him to the fact that he was being TOO nice.

I posted a story on snapchat of a thing my friend wrote about it being my birthday in a few days. I am hoping he sees it and feels he can contact me for my birthday and we can go from there as if nothing happened.

What is your FWB doing that is needy?