Why Is He Moving On So Quickly? Will It Last?

Yup.. agree with talllady. Unfortunately time will tell if you were “the placeholder” and she is ” the one “. It sucks, but do yourself a favour and move on. After 3 yrs he was not committing… to you anyway. You deserve WAY better than THIS !

And Harley, we were an official couple and everything for 3 years, it was just that we had some problems here and there. We both had a strong connection to each other and he still get emotional and teary eyed when he sees me now since he apparently misses me that much. The whole situation is so weird and crazy to me since normally he is always a kind guy and a perfect gentleman and he was always there for me, until he randomly met this girl.

I get that a guy would post pics of his GF or someone that he had been seeing for a long time, because at that point he would want to be announcing to all his friends and family that he’s with someone new and he’s serious about her. I guess I just thought it was weird because he’s literally known her for less than a month and started posting pics of her 5 days into talking to her. If a guy did that to me, I would feel like he was getting too obsessed too quickly, personally. I get that he’s probably excited about it and wants to show off, but to me, its a sign that he’s moving too quickly and using her to get over me faster. He barely knows this girl! Sure he says that there are a lot of things about her that he likes but he doesnt even REALLY know her yet you know? he might end up dating her tho. He’s insane.

Thanks Tallady! SORRY THIS IS SO LONG

I’ve talked to some friends and read some articles so I’m somewhat inclined to believe that he’s just trying to get over me faster and cover his pain. Honestly we were the best of friends when we were dating and we would go on breaks sometimes but still always see each other. But the relationship got really stale and we were a boring couple that rarely had that “spark” of a new relationship. It was both of our faults I guess and we got too comfortable with each other I suppose. He wasn’t doing a lot of things that I think a guy I date should do, and I probably wasnt being the best gf either. I think that he just needed this girl to give him the extra push of strength to be “done with me” maybe?

We both sorta knew that it wasnt working out (at least not right now). I think its probably a combination of things:

1.) he needed to move on and it would be easier to be done with me if he was with someone else because then what else would stop him from hanging out with me all the time?

2.) He rarely shows his emotions when it comes to sadness and pain, so I think he’s just trying to get over me. He’s doing the typical guy “post breakup” stuff like drinking excessively and now trying to couple up quickly with a random girl. He doesnt talk to his parents or friends about our relationship stuff. He’s told me that when he gets sad or mad, he just sits in his room alone and tries to think of other things.

3.) He’s told me that he still cares about me and has even gone back and forth between me and the new girl. He’s told me that he wants to get back together and that we could work it out, but he has taken it back later.

4.) I’m sure this new girl is more appealing to him right now than me because they are in the beginning stages so that means he doesnt have to really do anything for her yet. With me, since we had been dating for 3 years, he knew that I expected him to spend time with me and spend time talking to me and be open with me. With her, everything is on a surface level. He doesnt have to get deep with her, hes not obligated to do anything for her, & he can still be free to do whatever he wants. All they really do together is party, hookup, and go on the occasional date. He’s told me that he’s not even sure if he wants to officially date her yet but that he’s really into her right now. I personally thought that he should take some time to himself before he gets into a new relationship with anyone else.

5.) To me, the excessive postings on fb of pictures of her just tell me that he is really trying to get over me. If he REALLY liked this girl and was actually trying to get to know her for the sake of getting to know her, then he wouldnt need to post pics on fb for me and everyone else to see especially 1 week after he breaks up with me. Its like he’s trying to say “Hey world! I’m moving on! Look i have proof! I went on date with a girl I’ve known for a week so that means I’m moving on!” He also posts like a MILLION pictures of him drinking with his “bros.” To me that’s basically another memo to the world that he’s “free” of me. Like I said before, he normally never even uses fb.

6.) He’s told me that he will never forget me and that he’s not throwing out anything that I’ve given him in the past and he’s not going to delete pictures that we’ve taken together.

7.) Also he’s told me multiple times that all his friends think I’m really hot and that they’ve said to him that if we ever break up, I would have a new bf instantly since they all think I’m so “hot” and nice or whatever. I’m sure that must have taken a toll on him. If someone told me that about him, I would be under pressure to prove that I would be the one moving on first… IDK.

UNFORTUNATELY
The other day, he told me that he does not want any contact with me anymore. He said that he wants to give it a real shot with the random girl so he can’t be distracted by me anymore. On monday, he told me all this but ended up making out with me and cuddling before he left for good. I am nervous that he will forget all about me and start dating her soon!

I know that it would not be good for him in the long run since he will find himself in the same position he was with me: he was yearning for his own space and doing his own thing. Once he starts dating this other girl, then he will never get that freedom to truly be on his own and independent since there was no break in between me and the random girl. That’s the only way I think he will ever truly heal.

Although I would like to have a bf, I am somewhat looking forward to being independent and free to make any choice that I want to. It is somewhat liberating. Unless I found a guy that I REALLY liked, then I dont think I would want to be tied down.