Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › Why is he still texting?
- This topic has 16 replies and was last updated 9 years, 8 months ago by Jessy.
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Marie
I met this guy online a few months ago and we started texting right away. He is a much bigger texter than I am and would text me every day several times. He came on very strong which was a red flag to me since he’d just gotten out of a year-long relationship, but he was really sweet and funny so I let it go. We texted about anything and everything. We met and went on several dates. Most of them were initiated by him. We slept together after the third date and continued to hook up after the next several dates. I saw him about once a week for the first several weeks. However, things really started to fizzle after about six weeks or so. He still texted me almost every day but the texts were very matter-of-factly. He also hasn’t made an effort to hang out with me in a couple of weeks. I just assumed he wasn’t that interested and decided to let it go. Yet he still texts me every few days. I’m aware that some guys like to keep girls on the hook and I thought this might be what he was trying to do but the text conversations we have aren’t the type that would keep a girl on the hook. Our earlier texts were much more flirty and the conversations went on forever. Now he’ll just ask a question or make a statement, we exchange a few texts each, and the conversation is over. For example, he recently texted to let me know that he started his new job. I said I was excited for him and asked how it went. He responded that it went well and asked how my day was going. I then responded that my day was going great. After a couple more similar exchanges the conversation ended. Several days later he texts me on a Saturday evening asking if I’m having a nice weekend. Again, the conversations are all very short and matter-of-factly and he does not make an effort to hang out. I should also note that I do not initiate any conversations with him. I did when we were texting and seeing each other regularly but I stopped when he cooled off.
In addition, around the time he started cooling off we had a couple of awkward texting conversations about “us” during which he said that he was just enjoying himself and not thinking too hard about things, but that he enjoyed hanging out with me as I make him happy, laugh, and he feels like he can be himself around me. He said he was just enjoying the way things are and thought we were on the same page. I said I had no idea what page that was and I interpreted this again as he’s just not that interested and would just like to keep up the status quo rather than move forward. I believe that he’s seeing other women as we were never exclusive. I decided to write him off and move on. I didn’t confront him I just stopped initiating contact. I only respond politely to his texts and usually after a delay. I really liked this guy and was disappointed when things cooled off and would like to know why, without any effort from me, he’s still texting every few days to say absolutely nothing. If he’s not making an effort to hang out, isn’t trying to hook up, and isn’t trying to keep a conversation going then what’s the point? Why text at all?
StefanieMarie, one word: e-tethering. Google it. It’s just a boost to his ego and it keeps you on tap in case he wants to sleep with you again and you’re dumb enough to do it.
Just text him and let him know that you’ve moved on and are dating other men who are on the same page and you wish him the best. Then STOP. No matter what he does or says.
And future thought… best to hold off on sex until you know him and if you are indeed on the same pages.
LAgirlBecause he can. BEcause he is bored. Because he knows how much you like him and so he keeps you around as an option.
Look up the term e-tethering.
Amy SHe sounds like a player tbh. He prob spends his days texting girls. It’s an ego thing and I wouldn’t look into it at all. If he was truly interested he would be calling u and arranging dates etc. Hes lame. Kept him as a friend by all means if u can be bothered but don’t expect anything solid to come from this x
Amy SKeep him as a friend I meant lol x
DairymaidAmy… who needs this BS from a “friend???”
JessyI agree with what the ladies are saying.
redcurleysueHi Marie,
I am sorry this happened to you. The take a way lesson is to understand what a man is after before you get your emotions involved…in fact, wait until his emotions are involved first.
It should be part of the beginning conversations such as, “Why are you dating now?” “What are you looking for in dating?”
Amy SWell I just mean u don’t have to cut him off completely u know that would feed his ego even more. Imo. See it for what it is and take what u want from it. Whatever suits x
DebbyHe keeps texting because you keep responding. It’s that simple.
aliaHe is bored, likes to send random texts, and to get responses.
SMarie,
I was just as confused as you when I had my first experience with sex, fade out, then random texts from him. It had never happened to me before, so I was thoroughly confused. I feel you. I learned my lesson the hard way and I now know what some men do to keep girls on a string. I will never let a man do this to me again. Please learn from this. Sorry for your confusion. Try not to be upset or heartbroken. These sort of guys are not worth your emotions and time.
GwenStay away from men like this. He is interested in sex and that is all. Men online can be very charismatic until they obtain the chase. Some are talking to several different people and if your looking for a relationship, I would refrain to rushing into a sexual relationship with them until you get to know them. I would end all communication and find a man who can communicate his interest without you having to guess how he feels. When a man is interested they will move mountains to be with you and they will call you. You deserve better than to let him have all the power. He is not probably worried about when you text him. He’s texting you to see if he can have sex again. Lose him. I’m sorry and you sound like a very nice person but online dating will teach you some tough lessons. Never be too trusting. If he’s interested you will know and not have to question it.
PhillygirlCutting him off completely does NOT give him an ego boost.
What it does do, is send a clear message of “I value myself and my time too much to be bothered with you”.
Trust me, guys get it that you could care less when you don’t respond.
You feed his ego when you do respond, even if it’s curt and delayed. Just delete this guy
DianeI do that to guys that I am not really interested in when I am bored and have nothing else to do…lol
MarieI sent a polite text ending it and he said he understood and thanked me for always being honest. Done. No more worrying.
Thanks everyone.
JessyGood for you Marie,
You did good :-)
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