Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Why is my ex keeping tabs on me?
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 9 years, 1 month ago by
SthrnBelle.
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Mah
Why is my ex keeping tabs on me? He broke up with me 5 months ago and I vanished from his life. Now he is texting my best friend with lame excuses and sometimes asks about me. He also tells her some stuff about his life showing that “he moved on”. They were not close before. What the hell? He was the one who broke up! It’s been 3 months of NC.
Maria
He is sending you conflicting messages to test the waters, to find out if you still like him and if there is a chance for you two to get together. If you get angry at his moving on, then you still like him, and he has a chance – get it ? lol He is afraid to make an approach.
MissAlice
Hello Mah,
Who knows why. It could be a lot of reasons, but usually I’d say he could be just curious if you moved on from him. I don’t know details about your break up but could be either he’s having second thoughts about the break up or he’s just scared you moved on to someone better while he hasn’t yet. There could be more or different reasons but I’d say it’s usually because they want to know you’re still there into them and haven’t moved on to someone better (although I could be wrong).
Mah
I totally agree with you both. I think MissAlice nailed it: he is afraid I’m moving on with my life, because I’ve never contacted him again. And he is basically saying to my friend things life “I had this amazing trip, blabla” so she can tell me (he knows she will tell). He wants to show HE is moving on. It seems like he wants to cause some reaction in me. Why would he care?????? I don’t get it.
Gemini615
I think you do care, otherwise why would you be posting about it?
Regardless, all of it means nothing unless he’s contacting you directly asking for another chance. Just ignore it.
Mah
I didn’t want the relationship to end. I see your point.
Jordan
Ignore him until he approaches you like a real man and talks to you. It’s childish that he’s going to your friends and telling them those things. Be wary though if he does contact you because sometimes it doesn’t mean he wants you back. He could be looking for an ego boost or a cure to his boredom. Maybe, maybe not. Just watch out and don’t be available to him.
Mah
Jordan, thanks for your answer. I thought he was right on his decision of breaking up – while I was sad -, but it doesn’t look like he is now. Maybe he is just afraid I’m moving on and it hurts his ego.
Amy S
Its too childish. Tell your friend you dont want to know what hes saying and to tell him nothing back. Its like back at school. If he wants you back he needs to man up lol. x
SthrnBelle
He is not over it. When a man keeps asking and is also trying left and right to prove that he has moved on then he has not, which in no ways means that you two have a chance or that he wants something. Be really careful and no way that you should initiate contact because after three months you are ahead and you will fall back into his trap and in all likelihood once he has you at your place then he will no longer be interested and you can start the healing process again. Generally, it is for an ego boost and once they get you interested or see you interested, they stop or they may play a bit only to dump you again.
Whatever happened is really relevant though why it happened, how the relationships was, etc. There is always a remote chance at reconciliation but he would have to be really serious and prove it to you.
Please ask your friend to stop telling you. She may be reporting back to him too. No need for these games, if he has something to say, he knows where to find you and even then do not give in right away for sure and I repeat to not contact him under any circumstances.
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