Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Will he ever realise what he's losing?
- This topic has 10 replies and was last updated 8 years, 3 months ago by
Laura.
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sammy
My ex split up with me after a year. Well technically asked for a break.. This was 6 months ago. For 6 months I’ve been waiting for him to decide what he wants I’ve been there for him with emotional support. I haven’t really dated anyone else because I don’t want him to feel betrayed. I waited this long because a lot of the issues in the break up were my fault eg I didn’t appreciate him and expected too much. He also had a lot of personal and family issues and didn’t want an unhappy relationship on top of it. So I tried to change and be a better person for myself, and consequently him. But he still doesn’t know if he wants to be with me. So I’ve told him that I’ve had enough of waiting and being stringed along. I’ve said this before but each time I try and move on he downs back and says all the right things. My question is, will he ever realise that he lost a girl who loved him more than anything and was willing to do anything for him? Will he ever realise that he should’ve given me another chance because I made a mistake but realised what I did. When I told him I’d had enough he just said ‘you always put the blame on me’ but I literally had said the words ‘I take full responsibility for the break up’. I’m doing nc to try and move on but he always tries and contacts me. And one thing he Hates is being ignored, so when I ignore him he gets upset and frustrated. Will he ever realise ? Makes me feel a bit pathetic that all my efforts were wasted on a guy who couldn’t even say good morning to me or make effort to see me. Thanks.
Khadija
Hello Sammy,
It’s been six months of this. Please move on with your life.
Sadly, you are putting yourself on hold for this man and he has not done anything to get back with you.I really think its time to go no contact for a few months to begin healing and clearing your thoughts. While we all make mistakes in relationships you keep going over this in your end over and over again.
He has now been your ex for half a year, who cares if he gets mad that you will be ignoring him.He is stringing you along and that should be making you upset.
When a man is truly in love with you he will be with you regardless of issues and whatever else.
Find someone who really does see you as catch and wants to be with you.
Amelia
Hello Sammy,
I was in a similar situation as you, I was with my ex for 3 years and we broke up! We then remained friends and I always held on to hope that he would realise what he lost! I hung on for another two more years, I would ignore him at times and he would come on stronger, he would get jealous and act as if he wanted me to be around and things were moving forward with us! Don’t fall for this act that he puts on! My ex told me two weeks ago he has been seeing other girls this whole time and I was none the wiser!! We are no longer speaking and I never want to speak to him again! I let down so many other guys decent guys that would of probably treated me so much better holding on hope for my ex to realise I’m the one!! Don’t waste your time like I did a whole 5 years of my life!!! Please Don’t do it to yourself!!
Jenny
He may or may not ever realize what he’s lost but there’s absolutely nothing you can do to make him see either way. So if I were you, I’d just assume ‘OF COURSE he’ll realize what he lost, look at me, I’m awesome! How could he not?-confused face’ Lol. I don’t think relationships ever fall apart due to just one person… even if cheating is involved there’s still underlying issues where this behavior stems from. So to take FULL responsibility is a little ‘meh’ for me. Regardless of whatever you did, waiting 6 months is ridiculous *especially if y’all were only together a year!-that’s half your relationship time!* And who LIKES being ignored??! Nobody! But guess what homie, if you’re choosing NOT to be my boyfriend, you don’t get the perks that entails… such as A RESPONSE from me. That’s just how life works. Seems like your guilt is keeping you around, forgive yourself for whatever you did, accept that it happened for this very reason a/k/a he’s NOT the one & move on
Rose
Lots of guys have huge egos and do not realize what they have until they truly lose it, as in they see you move on for real, when they see you with another man. That’s the only way if they really want you. There are times when a guy is not really that interested in you and just wants to keep you from moving on because it’s an ego boost. They like to feel like the alpha male and none else can mess up with “his” woman even though he doesn’t want to be with her. Makes no sense to me but to them is an awesome feeling.
Do not put your life on hold for him.
Jennifer
I’d say it’s beyond time to move on, sweetie. Six months is too long to wait for a guy – period! You say there were issues in the relationship that were your fault — not appreciating him and expecting too much. Or maybe HE just wasn’t meeting your expectations of what you want in a relationship?
He sounds a little bit like a whiner to be honest and stringing you along is not cool. Who knows if he will ever realize what he’s lost, but I strongly recommend going no contact. Tell him that YOU need a break and that you won’t be responding to him. So if it drives him crazy when you don’t respond, at least he had a heads up. I would also make sure he doesn’t see it as you asking him to wait for you, rather you focusing on yourself after all of this. Good luck!
redcurleysue
You are allowing yourself to be ham strung by this person. Just know that enough is enough and if you want a life you have to get one…date others.
redcurleysue
You are allowing yourself to be ham strung by this person. Just know that enough is enough and if you want a life you have to get one…date others.
Suvreen
It’s been 2 years of break up. He couldn’t understand how much I used to love him till now. I think he will never understand the value of my true love, he will never realize what he lost. Now I am in a relationship with a guy who loves me as much as I used to love my ex. I will never leave him cause I know how much rare is true love and I am not a looser like my ex. Everything is good but steal now my ex is coming in my mind. There is always a thought in my mind that Love happens only once, the rest is just life.
Suvreen
Hello
It’s been 2 years of break up. He couldn’t understand how much I used to love him till now. I think he will never understand the value of my true love, he will never realize what he lost. Now I am in a relationship with a guy who loves me as much as I used to love my ex. I will never leave him cause I know how much rare is true love and I am not a looser like my ex. Everything is good but steal now my ex is coming in my mind. There is always a thought in my mind that Love happens only once, the rest is just life. ThanksLaura
I pick up that you were frustrated with his lack of effort so you’d explode…that’s not a healthy situation for either of you…
Now he gets explosive I guess if you ignore him…oh well…he let that balloon go…of course the balloon is going to float away…he didn’t anchor it down…
So block him, ask your family not to talk to him or mention his name and spend some time with yourself…You deserve it…You don’t deserve lackluster.
He may realize what he’s losing but more importantly you should realize you deserve better than the headaches and drama.
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