Will I ever hear from him again?

That is so true Rosie! We are busy people sometimes its hard enough to find the time to meet ONE man, how can we be expected to meet 5 at a time??

In regards to what you were saying about trust, that is something I have been struggling with. After this guy I was seeing disappeared I said to my friend “i’m mad at myself because I know better, I know better than to let myself get excited about a man and I got excited about him” It’s hard NOT to feel that way.

If likes you enough there is nothing you can do to make him leave. It’s a good test of how he’ll hold up if you get more serious and he sees your imperfections. You have to be yourself, BUT, you also have to play his game if he is a game player, as long as you want to keep things going.

I protect myself by really getting to know a man before I put too many emotions out there. Sure I can get excited when I meet someone who looks like they have potential – but automatically my reasoning starts up with, “Do I know this guy? Do I know who he is, what he wants, is sincere, have morals and values, has a good past history, etc.

My emotions do not go further until I really know a person…and know they are right for me. I also wait automatically for them to be very vested…and falling in love with me. When I am comfortable then I allow my emotions to follow the “good” thing I found…until then I have lots of questions…

Humm I think it’s easy to say that as someone from the outside….
People will wear different masks and as I said it’s easy to be like sceptical ..everyone’s different .
Don’t worry there will always be someone else when the time is right..
Chin up and remember in the first 6 months to 1 year your getting to know a person..you need to see them in different times day/night and places from experience..it’s always tricky!????

Alix,
This same guy you went home with?
Really???
I’m not going to lecture you but, do you really need us to tell you what’s next and what to do?
I’ll say this go about your day and don’t give him all that mind space or you’ll be right back to square one, if the process hasn’t already started again….
Walk this off, we’ve all been there.

Well, I’m not native english speaker but I will try to explain my situation just like a way to let my emotions flow and to try to heal myself.

In march I met this guy one year ago through an exchange web page. We started to chat just in a professional way since he just wanted to learn spanish and I was interested in improving my english level.

Every time we talked, we just shared language stuff: exercises, corrections etc. but just that. Overtime, our “friendship” started to change and before I realized that, we were talking about music, books, opera, and personal things.

He used to be the nicest guy over the world with me: sweet, kind, warm, attentive, every day when I woke up I already had at least one message from him, and during the day he used to keep texting me, sharing videos, funny stuff, etc.

I started to fall quickly… I mean, I had never experienced anything like that -he was my first everything if you know what I mean… – So, I got really interested on him. Once he told me that he wanted to come to my country to see me, I got really nervous and finally he explained me that he was interested on my romantically. I was the happiest woman over the world in that moment, he was smart, handsome and until that point, sweet and kind, all a gentleman.

We arranged a visit and he came 5 months later. During that time we kept talking every single day and almost every night.

He used to tell me the most beautiful things, how smart and wonderful I was, how amazing was may way to be, how pretty I look, how sweet and special I was for him etc etc etc…. and I believed everything what he said.

When finally he came to my country, we started a relationship, and a few days later, we kissed and slept together for first time :( -to me was my first time sleeping with a man-

He returned to his country a few days later, but we continued talking although after that time things started to change, he started to write slightly less, to be absent 1 or 2 days per week, and to say beautiful things less often. We had arranged another visit for November but this time I was going to visit him but I had already started to feel that something was going wrong.

I went to United States in November and I stayed there 2 weeks, during these days we discussed -after I found some condom wraps under his bed among other things -.- – we fought many times, once I got drunk since he had been pressuring me to be “braver” and take risks- I’m too shy and scary- and after that I was scolded because “an adult shouldn’t get drunk”,most of time he was absent since he “had” to “study” and well, in general I enjoyed the places I could visit, but with him… it was like a continous fight…

howevcer, although we were discussing, he used to tell me how amazing I was and how happy he was because I was his girlfriend, that I had “a sweet heart”. The last day we were together he said he was going to be really sad and that it was not going to be the last time I was going to see him…

Before I left United States, he said he was going to go to Japan to spend christmas with his father and that would be there 3 weeks but I didn’t believe him since his father hates to travel, besides that he said he wasn’t going to be able to communicate because his cellphone wasn’t going to have signal there -IN JAPAN, SERIOUSLY?…-

So I returned to my country in December and we talked like 8 times during the next 2 weeks before he went to Japan. I didn’t say anything and I didn’t look for him during his stay in Japan, because lately he had been accusing me of be “desperate” “insecure” etc…. just because I asked if he felt happy with me and if he enjoyed our relationship -.-

When he returned from Japan things got worse… He definitely changed. He stopped to write me every single day, if I had good luck, he sent me 2 or 3 messages per week and just like “hi, pfff so busy, I’m so tired”, his calls decreased and his attention too, If I didn’t call him, he didn’t call, when we arranged dates to see to each other, he cancelled them or just disappear during 3 or 4 days. One day I faced him and I asked him about if he was avoiding me and if he wanted to break up with me, he said no and that I was being insecure again, that I was always asking him about his feelings towards me and that he couldn’t fix my insecurities, that if I wanted to break up with him it was up to me.

I asked him finally if he wasn’t in love with me, and he said no… that was stupid to think that a relationship started with love, that love came later after spend quality time together and that it wasn’t our case -of course it was not our case if he cancelled our dates all the time- I got really hurt after hear that but I didn’t claim anything, I just said that I couldn’t understand why he was with me then.

In some point I thought that maybe he was right and that I was being insecure, so I decided give him space, although he didn’t write or call I tried to be patient just to please him and show that I could be mature -he was 31 and I was 24- and change, but it just increased his distant attitute towards me…

In march he said he was going to be absent 2 weeks because of a project of the school… that he was going to be really busy and that he wasn’t going to write -sure..- and the last time I heard from him was the day of my birthday, he left me a message saying that he missed me a lot, and that wished to me a happy day… after that, I tried to call him… I sent him some messages with no response -although I could see he was online in the same page I met him – So I waited till the end of those weeks to see if he was going to look for me but it didn’t happen.. So finally 6 days later I decided to write him a last message through that web page asking him if everything was okay but when I clicked his profile to do it, I discovered he had uploaded like 40 pictures of his trip to Japan and other stuff the day he ended his school project, so I understood that if he didn’t answer it was because he didn’t want to do it. I felt so sad and disappointed, I cried a lot but finally I understood it was time to let him go.. So I wrote him this final short message saying that I understood why he didn’t answer, that he probably wanted to avoid the drama and that the only thing I could do was to wish him that his life got better, that I didn’t hate him and that I was experiencing many new good things, that I wanted to focuse on them, that I was going to put aside myself and that probably It was the best thing I could do for both of us. After that, I don’t know if he read or not my silly message but he changed his status to single mmediately after I changed mine too.

I’m sad, disappointed because the only real thing I asked him for was honesty, and he always swore that he was going to tell me if he didn’t want to stay with me anymore. I don’t know why he did this, and I think there is no excuse for this coward action, is so unfair to say “this girl is clingy and insecure” just because we ask how he feels about something, or when you are worried for him; if I didn’t care, I wouldn’t ask you anything, and you probably would say “she’s a heartless bitch” because seems like everything is the girl’s fault….

Whatever, I don’t know if he is going to come back someday, but If he does, I won’t give him a second chance, he took many valuable things of me and he didn’t apreciate them so… a man like this doesn’t deserve a second chance.