Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Will I get a second date?!
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 10 years, 6 months ago by
talllady.
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Angela
I went on a blind date with a guy that’s a few years younger than me that I’ve been talking to on/off for 2 months. We had an amazing date, good constant conversation and he mentioned that I was the first date he’d had in ages. He mentioned that he had been worried about the date as it could have gone either way which I assume is a good thing because you never tell a bad date that, right?! At the end of the evening I went to the bathroom and he had paid the bill while I’d been away which was a nice gesture. After he got home he texted me to say that it was a pleasure meeting me and that he hoped I’d enjoyed it as much as he had. It’s now been a week and we have be messaging everyday/every other day – he’ll either text me or send me a snapchat of random stuff in his daily life. I’m really disappointed that he hasn’t asked me on a second date and when I casually asked what he was up to this week he said he was busy all week. Have I been friend-zoned? Any suggestions on what I can do to find out where I stand?
LAgirl
Yes, it would seem so. If he was really interested he would be pursuing a date.
Wait and see what happens and stop initiating any contact. See if he comes to you. If he continues to just chat about things, its up to you whether you want to waste your time on him.
Angela
Just wanted to add a couple of things to my previous post:
1) I seldom initiate contact with him before or after the date
2) It took him 2-3 months to ask me out the first time
3) He’s been single for a few yearsNot sure if any of this changes anything!
Lane
Hi Angela,
Sometimes you need to be blunt and too the point. Some guys aren’t very skilled in the dating scene and need a bit of prompting by saying something like “I only give this info out in person :-)”
If you communicate too much with a man via text, you take away all the mystery and intrigue out of the equation. Men have become lazy daters because women allow them to be this way due to the ease of technology. Just because you don’t initiate, doesn’t mean you should over indulge in responses either or they don’t see a reason to take you out if you give all the details away for free.
The only way to get a man to pursue is to become less accessible by text/email so he has to take you out to talk and see you again. If he doesn’t, then chalk him up as a “lame ass” and move onto guys who are highly interested in pursing you :-)
Dating guideline:
Lots of dates = High interest; Low/no dates = low/zero interest.
Ali
It took 2 months of talking for a first date to happen, based on that I’d say yes you’ll get a second date but it will probably be awhile before he asks you out on one. It’s up to you if you let him set the pace or just be a little more direct in trying to make plans. Since he’s messaging you so much I don’t see any harm in being like hey there’s a movie coming out I think you’d like or there’s a new restaurant/bar near me that’s opened up, we should check it out sometime. Then I’d leave the ball in his court to set up a time and place. Then I’d definitely let him set up the next date cause no girl wants to be with a guy who’s lazy about making plans!
talllady
Oh lord! Why are you talking to someone who took two months to ask you out? He is most likely very shy, and somewhat reserved. It is up to you if you want to deal with this or not. I would not. I want someone who wants to see me, and I would cut it off after a week of this malarky as it would not be at all compatible with what I want.
I do not agree with Lane (as usual ;-) ) that it means he is not interested, but I agree it is not a good thing.
Next time he texts you – let him text. Simply state, I feel disconnected when I don’t see someone in person. It makes me feel weird. What do you think?
Then let him answer. I would stop responding.
Lane
Tall lady, stop being so disrespectful. We don’t have to agree but I’m tired of you picking ME OUT on every post. Like my mother said “If you have nothing good to say then don’t say it all.” Thank you.
talllady
Lane,
I am not being disrespectful. I always cage what I say as a different opinion. And I happen to just be reading what you say next. My posts are after yours.
Lane
So what, other post before you and you don’t call them out. Just post your advice whether you agree with me or not as we all have DIFFERENT experiences and able to provide a perspective based on such.
talllady
So what?????
You called me disrespectful. I am always careful to state I have a different opinion and usually add a smiley face and that I have a different experience. I will never mention your name again, so never fear.
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