Will I hear from him again?

Be confident in yourself.

Don’t worry. Firstly, know you would be just fine without him…worst case scenario,correct? The issues would be about him,not you. In my opinion, things got intense in his mind, as in he needs space to recharge. Be a cool girl and just smile and go for a walk somewhere pretty and enjoy your surroundings, focusing on you for now on.

It’s been more than an hour.

If I don’t hear from him tonight I suppose that’s olay but if not tomorrow that would be different behaviour as I’ve heard from him every day since we met.

Also every other date he has arranged the next one before saying goodbye.

The guy should be thanking his lucky stars, and you should be in an excellent mood. Instead you are obsessing about him. Put the focus back on you. What do you like and dislike about him. What could have been better last night. Tell him, if you need to. Tell him exactly what you said here. “I felt you were distant as you left this morning, did I pick up on something, or was it just the hangover? My head is splitting as well..” I mean you can’t ask the dude if you have a concern, but you can have his dick inside you?

Breathe. Love yourself. “I love myself no matter what”

Firstly, next time, do not sleep with someone you don’t know you are in an exclusive relationship with. This makes this a lot easier. It is a lot easier to say, I want to know that I am with someone who is not dating others and we are mutually growing this relationship. I usually say – I only sleep withe men who I am growing a relationship with. I love a lot of sex, but for me, it is part of a growing interaction, not recreation.

But since that is too late for that, I say he gets 48 hours max. In my experience, no man who was really into me every waited much longer than that and it was usually 24 hours.

That said, men do pull back after intimacy, so good for you that you did not contact him!!!!

Guys pick up on the vibe of you worrying about him leaving. I’m not sure how but they know if you’re starting to get that desperate insecure feeling and it usually freaks them out and makes them back away. Honestly you probably shouldn’t have slept with him yet if you’re feeling this way. but as its too late now just breathe. If you donr hear from him again then good riddance. You don’t want to be with a player who’s just looking for one thing. There are a ton of great guys who’d be happy to be with you so his loss!

Neither of us are seeing anyone else… He was talking about a gig we can go to in march. We actually spent so long talking on Sat night that when he kissed me I forgot that was even something we might do (possibly not the best way of putting it, what I mean is we were so engrossed in conversation I forgot it was a date)… And I felt that it was the right next step.

We haven’t discussed being in a relationship (although he has said “in this relationship” twice in a banter-y way as part of an ongoing joke). Yes I could have waited another week, month, longer, but as has been said before surely if he was/is going to bail after sex then he’ll do it anyway regardless of the waiting, so surely better to find that out early on (obvs not 1st date).

Anyway he text last night. If he’s sticking with previous form I expect to hear from him tonight with word of the next date. If I don’t well I know he’s not the sweet caring interested guy he’s been pretending to be and I will have dodged a bullet!

also just to add, the only time I have waited longer to sleep with someone was with my first boyfriend when I was 17!

Since then I’ve had three long term relationships and in each case i slept with them 3 or 4 dates in.

This last weekend was date 4 and six weeks after the first one.

@Sherri
You completely missed my point. I know there are guys forums out there, but women obsess about different things and this particular website we are on are trying to change that, to empower women albeit it is not always successful.

Anyway, Sass, you are in a relationship whether the dude likes it or not. You are in a relationship (albeit it is not defined yet) and it will take time to develop and what you both want this relationship to be. And you may end up on the same page, and then it will have a long term potential. Right now the relationship is young. Let it develop naturally and get to know this guy. Always remember who you are and why you entered it in the first place. Keep the checks and balances why you like or dislike this guy. That you slept with him, shouldn’t be the deciding factor to prolong your relationship; if you don’t like how he is treating you, even if it is just missing out on follow up communication, do let him know and if it doesn’t change, walk away.

I have a guy friend who always sleeps with women early on and that screws up his thinking process. Time and again I have asked him to go slow. So he recently started dating a girl in early Jan and he has wowed not to bring in sex till date 10. I have told him to stop seeing the girl if he doesn’t feel that they are compatible and not to continue seeing her just because it is just a few more dates till date 10 and that with a new girl he would have to start all over again.

I totally agree with alia “That you slept with him, shouldn’t be the deciding factor to prolong your relationship; if you don’t like how he is treating you, even if it is just missing out on follow up communication, do let him know and if it doesn’t change, walk away.”

But how you say it is also very important.

@Sherri
Regarding the 10th date rule. I completely agree. It’s not the rules that matter, it’s the people involved. If the people are honest and forthcoming and open, and act on their feelings, and do the right thing, who cares when they have sex. They will work it out and no one will be hurt/ offended. It’s the insecurity that ruins things. Insecurity is a delusion, it makes people not themselves. If people give into their own insecurity, it guides their actions instead of the pure good heart.

No he didn’t act disrespectful at all, far from it.