Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Would you give a ‘meh’ first date a second chance?
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 5 years ago by
Lane.
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addison
The bullet – he’s obviously very interested in me (just trust me), texts eagerly and replies right away, asked me drinks right after he moved (will explain in a bit below), took me to a nice place, paid for everything, i think def would have kissed me at the end but i wasn’t feeling it so i moved away. he texted me either that day or a day or two later asking to see me again but i blew him off. he calls me pretty and gorgeous regularly.
he was at my office but we never worked together (different departments), he moved offices but then came back to visit mine, we were messaging online after that and he asked me out like 2 days later. that was the first time, maybe like 3 months ago.
i bumped into him again like a week ago, we started texted again, he asked me to christmas (which i thought was bat-s**t crazy), but he also asked me out for yesterday. i declined, already had another date, plus again, i’m just feeling ‘meh’. he’s persistent tho (as they say ALL OVER THIS FORUM, if he’s interested it WILL be obvious) so he asked me out to drinks this week instead when i declined him for last night. i haven’t answered yet, and this is why i am asking you all for help! i’m pretty sure he wants a relationship with me – he flat out asked me “what are you looking for?” the other day but i blew off that question. way too early for that.
he’s single, well-off, no red flags – i’m just not crazy attracted to him. i’m not “feeling it.” that’s why i said ‘meh’ first date. those first drinks i didn’t want to kiss or fuck him afterwards, i wasn’t burning to see him again either.
SO the internet is fairly mixed on “meh” first dates- given all my personal backstory on this one, what say y’all?
ask me anything:)
xoxo
addy(and ok, so that wasn’t really a ‘bullet’ :)
Khadija
If you aren’t interested in seeing him don’t go out with him.
Its that simple.I think interest should go both ways. Why waste your time on someone you keep saying no to?
If you didn’t even want to kiss him. imagine what it will be like if he wanted to have sex with you.Keep dating, the right guy for you is out there.
kaye
I wouldn’t go. If you don’t even want him to kiss you and aren’t attracted to him then what’s the point? I would feel like I was leading a guy on if he was crazy interested and pursuing me and I kept going on dates knowing I wasn’t into him. It’s how some women get a bad reputation of just dating a guy so they can go out and get free meals and drinks. My time is too valuable to spend it with a guy I’m just meh about.
Better off single
So you keep considering this guy because it boosts your ego, he’s interested, a nice guy, and well off?
Leave the poor guy alone. Tell him the truth about how you really feel so he can pursue someone else.
The only time I feel ‘meh’ in a situation is when my interest in him seems greater than his.
JB
I was going to say yes at first just reading the title as sometimes guys (and us women) can be nervous and or awkward at first date, but reading the details I would say no like the other advice… I am usually skeptical or turned off by guys that come on too strong or eager like that. Unless the attraction is there I would only proceed with caution..
addison
hey everyone! i completely forgot i posted this.
thanks all for the replies – let me just address the one girl who i think was being a bit of a bitch first –
BOS – it was not for an ego boost, and he is not a “poor” guy. he’s a grown man with a full life who took me to drinks once. you act like i’ve been stringing along a male best friend for YEARS. i’m not in this for the ego boost, his persistence towards me came out of nowhere, and i merely posted this question to see if i have maybe been blowing off men too quickly due to lack of feelings.
Khadija your message was super sweet, thanks for the advice and non-judgement. never thought of it that way, but you’re right. women like you empower other women:) for those who answered like her, i believe y’all are right. time is so precious, and honestly it would feel weird to go out with him again. i don’t know what we’d talk about, it would feel weird to have him “woo” me and pay for stuff.
update to anyone still curious – a few of my friends said go (just no more than two “mehs”), but i actually didn’t. i realized i simply didn’t want to. while he supposedly has a lot going for him, i just don’t think there’s anything anyone could say or do to make me like him like that.
best of luck and thanks everyone:)
-a
Lane
If it was a first date kind of thing and you hadn’t spent any time getting to know him I would say give it a little time. Being that you’ve had enough interactions with him and still feel ‘blah’ or ‘meh’ about him then do him a favor and let him know you like him as a ‘friend’ but not interested in anything more than that. Men know what “I like you as a friend” means so shouldn’t have to explain it to him.
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