Would you have left ?

@tammy
Yes.

She has a very high income, lives simply is super careful with her money. I felt like there was something not adding up. For what she earns and how she lives and her savings I wanted to know if she wasn’t telling something. I was awkward in asking. But we are about to live together. We were anyway until she said it’s now off because of the conversation.

She sounds like fun. Not. Why do you want this for yourself ? And what are you thinking that concerns the finances when living together ? Could it be that she’s frugal and has issues with money so will it be willing to share or contribute when you live together. These are things that need to be worked out and finalised before you make any plans or changes.

Hi P! I remember your other posts about this person. If I were you I’d think twice about moving in with her. First of all, I don’t think it’s a good idea to live with someone who’s not willing to have an open an honest conversation about finances. You need to outline your expectations and what you will both contribute.

Second of all, her reaction was completely disproportionate. Surely you recognize that storming off, raging, throwing your stuff at you and telling you to leave is unacceptable behavior? From your other posts I recall that this person has a lot of issues. You’ve posted about problems with her multiple times (I think this is at least your 4th post about her) in 7 months. This is not to attack you for posting, I think it’s great you’re reaching out for feedback– but it seems this person isn’t stable. You keep experiencing problems with her. Seven months of dating isn’t that long, you don’t really know this woman that well yet. So I’d advise you not to move in (don’t one or both of you have children? Don’t uproot the children’s lives and move in together when she is this unstable!).

And of course I agree with Raven’s point– this woman has a history of treating you badly, I encourage you to seriously evaluate whether this relationship is healthy for you…..good luck!

i don’t know about the earlier posts. nor about your history with this woman. but if you are planning and discussing about moving in together, why doesn’t she want to discuss? finances and future goals is important. i agree with other posters. pls do not make plans to move in yet till you guys sort this out. and she seems to have over reacted over what i am not sure actually.

my suggestion is that if she has over reacted and thrown a tantrum over a non issue, u need to leave her well alone. am sure when she comes to her senses she will get in touch with you. pls do not reach out or make the first move. let her reach out.

you can in the meanwhile think this whole relationship through. whether shes right for you and this is the relationship you want. its not too late.

Also @Liz Lemon I post do a lot. But that’s because I’m anxious about relationships and fearful that I’m not paying due diligence to who I pick to spend time with. It’s pretty typical of my attachment style.

i am getting conflicting views from your posts P. on one hand you seen to know exactly how she behaves and her weaknesses.but you are defending her actions because of the way she is. these discussions have sprung from the fact that she got angry, hyper and cut you out when you wanted to discuss finances. lets narrow it down. how are her anxiety issues and bad time management connected with her getting mad with you when you wanted to simply discuss finances? can you explain that?? she doesn’t have to defend herself because your already defending her.

Towards the latter part of the post your saying you won’t move in and that you will take years! why? you already seem to know her well. her gud and bad traits. noone is saying she is a bad or a gud person. but she seems to be treating you badly or as you said her bad time management and anxiety issues cause her to over react and you become her punching bag! why are you willing to accept that?

you realise your over compensating and you very well understand her personality traits and her demons. i think you need to carefully weigh in your pros and cons. what your getting and what your giving. and of course how you feel abt this give and take along with your feelings for her. after weighing in all the factors, i think its time you make a decision. by saying you will get casual, take time etc. maybe is a way of copping out of taking hard decisions?

to answer what you have asked? yes i would have left! long time back.

What AngieBaby said!

Also I would venture to say that I’ve learned from reading this forum for years that the majority of posts are the posters “issue”, and not the significant other they write in about. Through my own evolution I no longer need to write in for myself anymore because any time I have the inclination – I realize the root cause is ALWAYS me – trying to construe a man’s interest, riddle out his behaviors or psychological damage, or rationalize their lack of effort behaviors.

The person *for you* WILL MAKE IT KNOWN, TALK IT THROUGH, and you will rarely be questioning.

She

it has gone on for a while. sometimes things evolve and get better when your dating for some time. you get used to the other persons peculiar quirks. with you guys, its obvious that she has a certain pattern in her behavior. and its also obvious that when she goes on her such tirades, you get frustrated and upset. you want to handle issues without drama all the time, she thrives on drama. either accept the fact for what it is and stay with her or move on. its obvious she will mostly stay this way with the hope that will mellow down with time.