EX reached out after a month. Why would he?

Maybe he feels bad and wants your forgiveness?

He wants to test and see if the door is still open. He already told you he doesn’t want a relationship. He will reach out if hes lonely and/or horny. You are familiar territory. Unless he specifically says he wants to try & work out the relationship, I would tell him you’re moving on. Popping up after a month with a casual “how are you doing” doesn’t count.

I’d be very, very wary of giving him another chance if he says he’s sorry, he made a big mistake and wants to try again. It’s only been a month. No one changes that fast. You have to keep in mind that giving an ex who screwed up as badly as he did a second chance is a tremendous risk and the odds are against it working out.

I honestly wouldn’t respond since it’s only been one month. You’ve done the hard work of healing and moving on, don’t go backwards just because he yanked your chain.

Thank you all for the inputs.

If you notice on my original thread, I never said he actually cheated since I don’t know the facts. The woman he texted he eventually told me it was a friend from college and just catching up, she lives in a different city. I mean it doesn’t really matter since the whole thing was shady, but just wondering as to why you guys are immediately thinking it was cheating?

I also assumed it was cheating as a self defense mechanism so that I can move the hell on, but to this day I don’t have any straight answers…

“went from wanting to be with me forever to acting shady, lying, and caught him texting another woman etc. He never was honest with me about why his behavior changed, other than him blaming other factors and saying he wasn’t ready for a long term commitment.”

Those are all the classic signs of someone who is cheating and also you used the word CAUGHT him texting another woman. That’s why we all jumped to him being a cheat. And despite his explanation that you’ve now given, it still sounds off.

I remember your original post. How agonising this was for you, and I applaud you for being so strong and walking away without contacting him.

Are you second guessing yourself here with what your gut told you? He’s likely back because he misses you, but you don’t know what the place the missing comes from, not his actual intention.

Could be he’s lonely, hit a low spot, looking for validation, or whatever he was chasing has ended, or anything- no one knows.

It strikes me that he behaved badly towards you and relationship at the end, and you aren’t inclined to therefore be curteous although you seem intrigued.

What do you intend to do about it? Do you feel inclined to respond ?

Hi Honeypie, i was all over the place with the decision as to whether reach out or not. What kept coming up over and over again was every single moment of how badly I felt toward the end of the relationship and the icy And emptiness in his eyes while we were breaking up. There was an immediate anger emotionally, and a lot of physical tension, which just goes to show I am no where ready to talk to him let alone listen to what his manipulative mind has to say.

I think I always wanted to know whether he missed me and thought about me, and now that I have the answer it makes it that much worse cuz you are now left with a bunch more unresolved questions.

I know in my heart that I would feel 100x worse if I make contact and he just checks in for the sake of it and ego boost and then leaves it at that. The other alternative is that he wants to get together and is remorseful ( I highly doubt it). But even if that’s the case, I’ll never ever be able to trust this man again. So it’s best I don’t respond and just keep my peace and try to climb the 10 steps again which i worked so hard for the past month and now I am back to ground 0.